Chocolate, Barbie House, Books and …. Crackers?

Ok so I have been done with A Thousand Splended Suns by Khaled Hosseini since Monday and I am dying right now because the books I ordered on-line have yet to arrive, sigh, so now I am reading through my stash of the Adbusters magazines. Seriously, I am suffering here for real.

I will review thousand splendid suns soon, I don’t know why  I am procrastinating, I just feel like sharing “7aki Fadi” only.

These are the books I ordered and have been waiting for for FOUR DAYS, they always arrive on the third day … I am gonna cry :( .

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Which one should I read first? I was thinking of reading “The Namesake” first. Bob recomended it to me.

Poor little 7aki is home sick today so I didn’t go to work , 7aram my baby is throwing up :( . (Kinzi, I remmebered you and what you went through  so I am washing my hands every 5 seconds, mama 7aki CANNOT get sick ) but on the bright side we got to play  barbie house together all morning.

Check it out, isn’t it cute?

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The bathroom flushes and the doorbell rings and the shower makes water noises, there are tiny spoon, fork and knife. little 7aki loves it.

OK I bought it for me pretending it’s for little 7aki for eid, lol, I am more excited to play with it than her , yeah I need to grow up.

These are my favorite crackers IN THE WORLD. I challenge you to find crackers that are better (do they have them in Jordan? If not sorry people in Jordan, tough luck :-P ) . Seriously, they have 8 grains and seeds and they are sooooo good I like to eat them just by themselves. So if you live in Canada or in the states you HAVE to try them

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Since I am talking about favorites, this is my favorite chocolate.

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Shu kaman ? shu kaman? I guess that’s it for now.

Try and be a “YES” Wife

This is what my father in law did to me on the weekend it’s abuse I tell ya!

Father in law looking at me while asking little 7aki a question: Does your mom make you rice at home?

Little 7aki: No she doesn’t.

Father in law addressing me: See , little 7aki says you don’t make rice at home. Why don’t you make rice at home? What does little 7aki eat?

I pretend I didn’t hear him and I ignore him

Father in law 2 minutes later talking to little 7aki AGAIN: Does your mom make you rice at home?

Little 7aki: No she doesn’t

Father in law addressing me: See , little 7aki says you don’t make rice at home. Why don’t you make rice at home? What does little 7aki eat?

I answer with a smile on my face: Of course I make her rice. She’s 3, she doesn’t remember what she had for lunch.

After the scenario repeating for 5 more times I say with a smile on my face: Yeah little 7aki never eats at home, I only give her water and bread. Rice is too expensive.

Grandfather 7aki looks at me in horror and everybody in the room is giggling now, my husband, my mother in law, my sister and brother in law. Every time I see him this scenario repeats, never fails.

_______________________________________________________

Sigh, if I don’t laugh I think I will murder someone.

Just for the record: I make rice for little 7aki .. LOL.
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Another delightful conversation:

Baba 7aki has a job interview tomorrow so my father in law tells me the following.

Grandfather 7aki: Try on Wednesday to make your husband relaxed and happy before he leaves the house in the morning so he is in a good mood before he goes to the interview.

Me:I will sure do that. That morning I am dropping little 7aki off to school instead of him doing it so he is not flustered and in a rush, little 7aki is a handful in the morning

Grandfather 7aki: Bravo 3alaiki. Also don’t argue with him that morning, try and be a “YES” wife that day

Me not believing my ears and suppressing a giggle: Well don’t worry about that, baba 7aki and I don’t talk in the morning anyway so there’s no worry that we will argue (LOL LOL in my head)

Grandfather 7aki looking in horror: You don’t talk?? Well you should try and talk to him on Wednesday and encourage him.

Me: I will try and talk to him , see, I never see him in the morning to talk to him (hahahahahahah again in my head , also my mother in law and sister in law laughing their asses off at my expense little does my sister in law know that her turn is sure coming, lol)
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OK I may appear mean but honestly, my father in law drives me nuts, and he is too easy of a target cos he believes me when I say I feed little 7aki water and bread and that I don’t talk to baba 7aki.

He always does this while baba 7aki is not there, he always corners me when my husband walks out of the room, next time, I will tail baba 7aki everywhere.

Sigh, let me not share with you the sex advice he once gave me… shudder…
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An email conversation between Baba 7aki and me today:

Me:I wanna take little 7aki to the Santa parade that weekend :) I think it’s on Dec 2nd

Baba 7aki :bla bla bla … check the date since ur track record is shit for festivals/parades!!! LOL LOL LOL

Me:LOL, hakeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer (loose translation, bastard)

So my friend just blew me off for tonight :( .

Baba 7aki: LOL! Keef bas! (loose translation, did you like that?)

And you friend is a hakeera … How dare she blow you off!!!

Why not come tonite and be a zawja mutee3a (an obedient wife) ??? LOL

No honestly , why not go to the mall or the bookstore or something tonite, or do a manicure/pedicure, or whatever. Its ur nite! 7ub :)

Me:LOL @ zawja mutee3a.

I will so blog what your dad did to me this weekend :-P , I will keep you posted on the comments I will get. 2al be a “yes” wife 2al.

I am going to the mall fo sho cos I need pants for those lovely boots :D .

Thanks 7ab7ooby, I really “love you”, and I am “in love” with you and I also “like you” kaman hehehehehe

Baba 7aki:LOL!!! Willik 7aram on the blog !!

There is “like”, “love”, and there is being “in love” :-P

_______________________________________________________

Ok so sometimes when he irritates me I tell him that I do “love him” but that I don’t “like him”, LOL. So we always ask each other:

Is there “love” or “like” today?

And now he added a new one, the “in love” part because we were watching a TV show and the woman said I “love you” but I am not “in love” with you so he likes to tease me like that.

Seriously? What does this crap mean? who comes up with this shit? love and in love, isn’t it the same? Damn you Hollywood for planting evil ideas in our heads.

Warning: A very shallow post 3

We went to the mall today for no particular reason and I saw these boots and I HAD TO HAVE them. Aren’t they pretty? They cost a lot but what the heck, I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed them. I hate skinny jeans but for these boots I am willing to wear them, I will feel terrible covering these boots up, it would be a sin so I am gonna go to the mall and buy me some skinny pants.

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(Click here to go to site – Danger Danger lots of pretty boots)

So it’s my and baba 7aki’s 7th wedding anniversary on Jan 12th and I already started looking for what I want baba 7aki to get me, yeah  I tell him what I want, I don’t like surprises, unless it’s a trip somewhere then it’s OK but clothes shoes and jewelry no thnaks. And baba 7aki is very generous, if I allow him to surprise me he spends A LOT, I mean INSANE amounts so after I get it I find out how much it cost and I freak out and I kinda ruin “The moment” so I rather pick something, lol, yeah I am not your normal female.

So anyway, I want this, the one on the right, isn’t it it purrrrrrty, OMG I love watches soooo much :

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(Click here for more watches, DANGER DNAGER lots of blingy nice watches)

ooooooooooooooooooooohhhhh, these are nice too:

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This concludes my quarterly shallow session

A Dose of Hilarity: I Am America (And So Can You)

Prepare to piss your pants laughing.

This book is sooooo funny I was chuckling on the train and people thought I was loco.

In I am America (And so can you) Stephen Colbert tackles all the taboo and un-taboo(is that a word?) subjects. Here’s a sampling of his insightful opinions:

On raising a family:

Childrearing is arguably the most important of my core values. I believe in it, I practice it , and I ceaselessly promote it to my friends and followers. That said, generally speaking, I’m against children.

What’s the matter? Did I shake you up?

See, I am not against the conception of children; like i said, they’re the only permissible reason for intercourse. And I am not against pregnancy- in fact, if you ask me, there’s nothing more beautiful than a third-trimester mother-to-be in full maternity regalia. Maybe it’s the elastic, I don’t know. But the effect is stunning.

No, my problem is the children themselves. They may be cute , but they are here to replace us. Need proof? Ever catch one walking around in your shoes? That’s a chilling moment, like finding an empty body snatcher pod in the basement.

On religion:

So he pretty much made fun of all religions, he said “Buddhist’s should not just sit there meditating in their gardens, pick a side tubby”. He called Agnostics “Atheists without balls” and said “Hindu’s have the best commercial religion because they would produce the coolest stuffed toys,why with all the animal Gods and such. Imagine having a stuffed Jesus on a cross?” So I was dying to see how he’s gonna make fun of Islam so he says:

Islam is a great and true religion revealed in the Holy Koran which was dictated by the angel Gabriel to the final prophet Mohammed Blessing and Peace Be Upon Him

And that’s it. HAHAHAHAHHA, it’s HILARIOUS. Did you get it? Colbert is a genius.

(update/clarification: He didn’t make fun of Islam and he used the wordings the Muslims would describe Islam with because he is scared from the Muslims outcry (not really , he is just being sarcastic and showing that Muslims are the only ones who don’t allow anybody to make fun of their religion). That’s why it’s hilarious)

On homosexuality:

He says:

I am a gay American. And I couldn’t be gayer now that the gays are on the run.Of course, I am using “gay” the way our finding father intended, to mean “Happy,” before it was stolen from them by the gays.

Nation, we’re at war. And we can’t let the gays gain any more ground on our American language. Which is why we’re going to start taking their words. First word we reclaim? “Homosexual” . From now on , it’s going to mean what it always should have:heterosexual. Think about it. “Homo” means “the same.” And we’re all born with the same sexual orientation-straight. Ask any baby. (Girl babies, drop that teat)

LOL

 And much much much more.

For those who don’t like to read, there’s a lot of pictures in the book, a fun zone at the end of  every chapter with a quiz and a game, lots of hilarious illustrations, and last but not least there are stickers in the book.Yup, you read it right, stickers to mark your favorite parts of the book and to award other books the Stephen Colbert readers choice award.

Currently reading: A Thousand Splended Suns by Khaled Hosseini

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A new addiction?

OK so for the past 4 days (is it four? I lost count) I have been playing those addictive grow puzzle games and I am hooked.

The goal is to reach all the maximum levels for every component you add, it is soooooooooo cool , you have to be careful about the order of adding these things.

I grew a cube, one of my faves

I grew an Island, was tons of fun and such a cute ending

I grew the castle thingy one , the steps on this one are long but fun

This was sooooooooooo cool, I’ll call it the grow space

And almost everything on the left side bar here

This I am unable to solve, (grow shapes) grrrr, if you do it give me the steps, it’s just so un-colorful so it bores me :( , but I want to solve it.

They are truly very addictive, when I am sleeping I am dreaming of the game components, lol. Seriously. And now that I finished them all I have no more puzzles to do and I am seriously in withdrawals. I guess I will start blogging again.

 Thanks bambam for showing them to me

PS: Bob and William are no longer working during the day, they sit there and work on the puzzles and compare notes, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

A Dose of Brilliance: Brave New World

Where do I start.

This book is just amazing.

I just finished reading Brave New World by Aldous Huxley and I have to tell you that it is a must must must read.

This book caused me to miss my subway stop and not even realize I missed my subway stop until we were standing for a long time and I wondered what’s taking so long to move just to realize I was at the end of the line.

This book talks about a time when children are harvested in bottles to remove the need for mothers , fathers and relatives. The word mother and giving birth is considered a very shameful thing.

It talks about a time when children are conditioned in their sleep and all their lives to be satisfied, happy, work hard without asking any questions where all their carnal desires are met.

This book talks about a time when not having sex is considered abnormal, having only one sexual partner is abnormal and a big shame and it is considered “good manners” to pat a woman’s behind.

It talks about a time where you can erase your worries by having soma and everything feels good again and you are happy again.

A savage is brought into this world as an experiment and we see this world through his eyes and what a a journy it is.

Is this a Utopia where there is no illness, no growing old and no unhappiness? You can have whatever you want, consume as much as you want, be beautiful and young till the day you die.

Or is it a Dystopia because you can have anything anytime making everything lose it’s value? If you could have sex all the time ,with as many people as you want dosn’t it make it lose it’s value and it becomes like eating ? Wouldn’t a hungry person enjoy good food a hundred times more than a person who just got his fill?

An excerpt:

A man grows old; he feels in himself that radical sense of weakness , of listlessness, of discomfort, which accompanies the advance of age; and, feeling thus, imagines himself merely sick, lulling his fears with the notion that this distressing condition is due to some particular cause, from which, as from and illness, he hopes to recover. Vain imaginings! That sickness is old age; and a horrible disease it is. They say that it is fear of death and of what comes after death that makes men turn to religion as they advance in years. But my own experience has given me the conviction that, quite apart from any such terrors or imaginings, the religious sentiment tends to develop as we grow older; to develop because, as the passions grow calm, as the fancy and sensibilities are less excited and less excitable, our reason comes less troubles in it’s working, less obscured by the images, desires and distractions, in which it used to be absorbed; whereupon God emerges as from behind a cloud; our soul feels, sees, turns towards the source of the light; turns naturally and inevitable; for now that all that gave to the world of sensations it’s life and charm has begun to leak away from us, now that phenomenal existence is no more bolstered up by impressions from within or from without, we feel the need to lean on something that abides, something that will never play false – a reality, an absolute and everlasting truth. Yes, we inevitably turn to God; for this religious sentiment is of its nature so pure, so delightful to the soul that experiences it, that it makes up to us for all our other losses” ‘ Mustapha Mond shut the book and leaned back in his chair. ‘ One of the numerous things in heaven and earth that these philosophers didn’t dream about was this’ (he waved his hand), ‘us, the modern world. “You can only be independent of God while you’ve got youth and prosperity; independence won’t take you safely to the end.” Well, we’ve now got youth and prosperity right up to the end. What follows? Evidently; that we can be independent of God. “The religious sentiment will compensate us for all our losses.” But there aren’t any losses for us to compensate; religious sentiment is superfluous. And why should we go hunting for a substitute for youthful desires, when we go on enjoying all the old fooleries to the very last? What need have we of repose when our minds and bodies continue to delight in activity? of consolation, when we have soma? of something immovable, when there is the social order?’

‘then you think there is no God?’

‘No, I think there quite probably is one’

‘Then why…?’

Mustapha Mond checked him.’But he manifests himself in different ways to different men. In our modern times he manifested himself as the being that’s describes in these books. Now…’

‘ How does he manifest himself now?’ Asked the savage.

‘Well, he manifests himself as an absence, as though he weren’t there at all.’

 

Lots to think about and ponder after reading this book so I will leave it for you to decide.

It’s definitely going on my favourite books of all time list.

Currently reading: I am America ( And so can you) by Steven Colbert , and let me tell ya, I am laughing my ass off :D .

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On Eating Alone

So my Friend at work no longer works here , which on by itself sucks. Why have you forsaken me?

But this post is not about that. 

Now that she is not here I am lunch buddy-less.

See, I hate eating leftovers or bringing home cooked food to work, something about the microwave taste of food doesn’t appeal to me so I prefer to eat out, yup, I eat out EVERYDAY for lunch, and I LOVE it.

So now that she is gone, and the fact that William rarely eats out and Bob is moody and sometimes he eats out and sometimes he doesn’t I have been skipping lunch or eating crap for the past 2 weeks cos it SUCKS to eat alone, there is nobody to encourage me to pig out. Mind you I have no issue with eating alone, but not everyday :( .

A sample of my miserable lunches: 

On Friday I didn’t have any lunch, I just had some chocolate.

Then on Tuesday I had a stupid roast beef sandwich  AT MY DESK . I oh so hate sandwiches, I only eat them if I really have to and they are the least messy when you want to eat at your desk.

Then on Wednesday I had a stupid turkey sandwich, AT MY DESK, eating at ones desk SUCKS ASS.

But today I am going to eat real food dammit! I am going to go downstairs , pick up a shawerma platter with rice and hummus and tabooleh (yum yum yum yum, I don’t know how I could survive without the BEST Lebanese restaurant and did I mention it is in my building? Talk about LUCKY) and read my book while I eat.

On the positive side eating all these healthy sandwiches (gag) made me lose some weight :D .

You don’t know who to vote for?

Then this might help Know your Candidate أعرف ممثلك  .

What a great initiative , I really think Pheras (Made in Jordan) and the the Free Thought Forum team did a great Job!

Way to go guys.

This is where it was announced.

Too bad I can’t vote since I am in Canada and all.

I Wish For

Little 7aki looking at coins in a fountain: Mamaaaaaaaa, what is this at the bottom of the fountain?

Me: It’s money sweety, pennies.

Little 7aki: Why is there money ?

Me: People throw the pennies there and make a wish. Do you want to make a wish?

Little 7aki: yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.

I give her a bunch of pennies to make wishes.

Little 7aki throwing the first penny: I wish for a baby brother and sister .

Me: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW … FA3ES.

Then she didn’t waste the other pennies and started wishing for all the materialistic stuff in the world …lol.

A dose of 7aki mish fadi : Culture Jam

I just finished reading the book Culture Jam: How to reverse Americas suicidal consumer binge – and why we must by Kalle Lasn.

This book starts with the promise that we can change the world.

What a a great eye opener, makes you really re-assess a lot of things in your life, re-assess  your habits of just consuming blindly. I really can’t give it enough credit with a review so I am just going to leave you with a short excerpt.

Mood Disorders

Imagine that you are a member of a typical postmodern family, living in a typical house, in a typical neighborhood, in a typical North American city. You’re over-leveraged and overworked. You eat a lot of takeout, your kids holler for Nike’s and the TV is on five hours a day. One day it dawns on you that , as a family, you’re failing. You aren’t so much a family as five strangers sharing power and water.

You decide, as a tonic, to go on a camping trip – a pit latrine and flame cooked wieners experience uncorrupted by phones, faxes or Bay watch. In the absence of electronic distractions, you will get to know each other again.

After only a few hours in the wilderness, though, it becomes clear that you don’t know how to do this. you might as well have been shot into deep space, so psychologically ill-equipped are you for the enforced camaraderie of the outside world.

Your kids experience actual physical withdrawal from television. Your seven year old can’t finish a whole sentence or stay focused on more than three bites of her beans. She wears the village of the damned expression and asks you to repeat almost everything you say.

Your 14 year old finishes his meal in silence and excuses himself to the tent, where he scavenges for magazines and, finding none, just conks out. There are no signs of life. The kids’ senses have become so deadened from disuse they can’t touch taste, smell or see that they are in a marvelous place. To them it doesn’t feel marvelous. It doesn’t feel like anything at all

Most of is are now fully detached from the natural world. We can barely remember the last time we drank from a stream, smelled wild skunk cabbage or saw the stars from a dark remove, well away from the city. We can’t remember when we last spent an evening telling stories, instead of having Jerry or Oprah or Rosie tell stories to us. We can’t identify three kinds of tree, but we know how much Mike Tyson received for his last fight. We can’t explain why the sky is blue, but we know how many times Susan Lucci has been passed over for a daytime Emmy Award.

As you might notice the people and events referenced in the book are kind of old since it was first published in 2000 but it is a must read book, I really think you need to read it, what an eye opener or more of a reminder really of what we are doing to ourselves and kids in this consumer society.

Currently reading : Brave New World by Aldous Huxley 
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Can’t Be In Denial Anymore

I was in denial for all of September and October that the summer is not over yet but I can’t be in denial anymore since IT’S SNOWING OUTSIDE.

 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

 I need a hug :( .

And some roasted chestnuts ( Kastana) won’t hurt either, maybe a cup of hot chocolate and my fireplace at home would be cool because I will be freezing my arse off in 15 minutes.

OH OH OH did you ever make mana2eesh (some Arabic pastry) on the kerosene heater? Man I honestly am amazed that I am still alive because of all those bad habits my family (all Jordanians?) used to practice. 

Yummy mana2eesh that were cooked on kerosene fumes, yum yum…

And North Americans are complaining because there is a little bit of Lead on the kids’s toys. They are wusses, we need to send those Canadian kids to Jordan to build some emunity …lol

HATE HATE HATE (Warning: Mature language. It just seems immature)

This post is all rants so sue me.

I HATE the fucking subway, it is the most disgusting place/train on planet earth.
It’s where freaks, crazy people and hobos congregate.
It’s where people who think they are good singers sing.
It’s where people who haven’t taken a bath in 10 years sit when it’s cold, they stay on the train for hours.
It’s where drunks like to hang out at night.

The other day I was standing by the door to get out and there was this woman who was standing behind me , like 2 inches behind me I could hear her chew her fucking gum , DID YOU EVER HEAR OF PERSONAL SPACE ????? Man! The Fucking train is empty, I felt so claustrophobic at that instant that I wanted to elbow her in the face , yeah cause her face was right next to my elbow, lol.

And that fucking guy who whistles. REALLY? SHUT THE FUCK UP! I just woke up and I am trying to read.

What about that guy who was staring at me? I mean I know I am irresistible (lol) but man, ENOUGH STARING, you are freaking me out, and oh, that water bottle you are carrying, it’s see through, I can see the fucking BEER YOU ARE DRINKING, and I can smell it from a mile.

I swear to God I can fill a book about this shit. I have at least 10 more stories but I don’t feel like it :-P .

I HATE food courts, it is the most gross place to eat.
So today I get my food and I sat down to eat and then I was dazzled by the site of an enormous PLUMBER BUTT sitting on the seat in-front of me , half the guy’s FAT ASS was hanging out, man!!!!

First of all I thought low rise pants were for women??!!! And aren’t you cold? I mean today it’s 0 degrees outside so the breeze must make you feel cold.

I had to go sit somewhere else because I was about to vomit the food I did not eat and I didn’t want to picture a fat ass while I was eating. JEEZ.
Well at least his ass was not hairy, lol.

I HATE it when I buy my daughter clothes and they don’t fit.
Yesterday I bought her tons of clothes and they are ALL SMALL, why oh why are the sizes all different from store to store? I mean HAVE A STANDARD PEOPLE????!!! Now I have to go back and exchange them.
To punish them I will buy clothes for me too, lol .

I HATE having a chronic cold / flu / some disease from Mars.
Man! I have been sick for a whole month now.
WHY MEEEEEEEEE.
BIDDI MAMAAAAAAAAA.

I HATE it when my husband PMS’s
Need I say more?

But on the good news side, I just got the job I interviewed for, WOOOHOOOOOOO.
This ended six years of being self employed AKA Consultant AKA slave.
Now I am a corporate drone :D .

P.S. I am not PMSing myself, so spare me the witty comments :-P .

The Second life

I was watching a special show that talked about a virtual reality game / community called “The second life“.

It’s basically an application you install on your computer that allows you access to a virtual world where you can have a character that lives a second life virtually, your real actual life is referred to as your “First life”.

First you pick a first name then a last name from a list that is provided, then you pick the character you want to be, customize it, the height the weight the color of your eyes the clothes ,EVERYTHING , you create an identity.

You live in this virtual reality where you can buy a house, land, clothes, shoes, guns , even sex toys and anything you can imagine out there with money called Linden money which you buy with real money.

Second life is so convincing since in it you can get married , get a job , auction property on eBay. 

It’s free, naybody can join, but you can’t buy stuff if you don’t become a paying member.

It’s a community where it’s all virtual people with real people behind them. People are making a real living out of this and making a lot of money! Real money, the show featured a clothes designer that sells virtual clothes for 7 dollars a pop. She spends up-to 13 hours a day living in her second life!

I was freaked out, there are people who do not have a first life what so ever, they only have a second life as if it was all real.

I was fascinated and disgusted and sad all at the same time, I mean it’s cool if it was just for fun and games , imagine if I create a virtual 7aki Fadi and have an office and have Bob and William there… that would be hilarious and fun, but when you seize to have a first life and all day and night you live in your second life then , dude, you need therapy.

I went to check out the website and I saw they had a blog which had a guy announcing that he got married in his second life. Here is what he said:

“Hello! *smiles and waves* Because of stuff that’s happened in my Second Life, I’m in love and moving house in my First Life”

I clicked on the love link to go to flicker to see a picture of the happy couple

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This is real for some people, this is their whole life, I was also amazed by the comments left on the photo:
” May your love grow as you’re blessed with many, many children!”
“It still amazes me what an effect that SL has with our lives. This romantic photo of you two makes me miss my girl even more.”

WOW, I don’t know what to say, have humans become so lonely and so depressed by real life to do this? I think I lost any hope for humanity after i saw this.

It reminds me of bambams post “Guys & Dolls…. I am scared for life now” .. shudder..

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