I HATE February

HATE IT. HATE IT. HATE IT. HATE IT.

 And this year we have to suffer through one extra day of it. Feb, I  can’t wait for tomorrow to come so I can say BBye!

Why do I hate February?

Take a look at this:

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This weather is just inhumane. Nobody should suffer through this.

And honestly, when my husband finished his Masters degree in the West Coast in the States can you tell me what POSSESSED him to come to Canada? Ha? HA????

WEST COAST PEOPLE!

Sigh.

At least we have free health care so in your face West Coasters!!!

Sigh.

I just say that to make my self feel better :( .

Biddi Maaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaa.

The day 7aki got slapped, AGAIN!

Remember that one time when I was slapped by a monkey? I think it was a sign of things to come.

See, my Mom is a very peaceful person, never in her life did she have to resort to using her loud voice or physical power to get her point across. All she had to do is use her stare, we called in “The death stare”, she will just keep staring at you until she breaks you, LOL. For real, she would just not let up and keep looking you straight in the eye until you didn’t know what to do and then you would surrender and do whatever she wanted you to do.

For example she would ask me: “Go do the dishes”. Like a smart ass I would say: “Ma biddi (NO)”, and my mom would unleash the death stare, at first I would defiantly look her in the eye, and then after 2 seconds flat I would start looking away, then in another 2 seconds flat I would start giggling nervously, and then I would get up and do the dishes (zay ilshatra), mind you , my Mom at this point had not even uttered one word.

So one time my mom woke up really early, 6 in the morning, on a weekend, I also woke up and went looking for Mom to find that she was in the bathroom, so I snuck really quietly and sat down next to the closed bathroom door and waited for her to come out.

My Mom opened the door so I stood up, screamed really loudly and grabbed her. She got sooooooo scared that she slapped me.

It was the most painful KA-TESH slap EVER (The monkey slap was less painful, LOL) .

I really wonder, why didn’t she find it as funny as I did? HAAHHAHAHA.

Moral of the story 1: Never sneak up on my Mom to scare her.

Moral of the story 2: I perfected the death stare and I scare little 7aki into doing whatever I want, hehehehe.

Cartoons and LSD

Little 7aki loves cartoons. I present you with a sampling of what she likes to watch and some questions that plague me every-time I sit there and watch.

1) Toopy and Binoo.

Little 7aki’s favorite, she is mesmerised every-time she watches it.

Where do I start on Toopy and Binoo, my goodness.

I can sum it up pretty easily; Toopy is a cross dressing mouse on LSD.

Look at this picture, that is a dress and an apron. Dude, what’s up with the dresses, this guy wears dresses every chance he gets, and makeup too! Every Halloween he dresses up as a tutu wearing ballerina or a princess. It’s been 3 years and every year I check he’s in a dress.

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This mouse(or creature) is always hallucinating and dreaming up rainbows and weird things, like he once had a daydream that he was in a bowl of cheerios cereal and that the spoon was a big water dragon following him. Seriously, he is on LSD. (The Wiki page is facinating)

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2) Little Bear.

This is little 7aki’s 2nd favorite show, she loves it. I like it too because it’s very soothing, they play classical music as background music and it’s all charming, I really don’t have any issues with little bear. But I do have one question.

Why is little bear naked while his mom and dad wear clothes? It’s a mystery to me.

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3) Max and Ruby.

Oh I hate hate hate Max and Ruby. It’s the bossy little sister that is ALWAYS looking after her little brother.

WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS.

Look at these pictures, she sweeps AND changes her brothers clothes, I really need to know where the parents are at.

max_ruby_team.jpeg  max-and-ruby.jpeg

4) Barney.

We are a Barney free household, he is banned at our house, little 7aki is not, under any circumstances, allowed to watch it. I just wanted to share that piece of information :D . BANNED.

Here is what I like to see done to Barny

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5) And since I am asking questions,  I have another one. Why does Donald Duck always wear a top and no pants but when he comes out of the shower he puts a towel around his waist? Always puzzled me as a kid. Another unsolved mystery.

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ps: Thanks to everybody who emailed me or showed concern over my absence (Tinker you are so sweet), I was away on a trip and then came back and was sicker than a dog but I am back on track now and will delight you with some more 7aki Fadi :D .

On Marriage and Freedom

A lot of people out there fear marriage or flat out hate it because they are afraid that they are going to lose their freedom.

But what is freedom?

Is it the freedom to do whatever you want whenver you want?

Is it the freedom of having the ability to be romantically involved with whomever you  want whenever you want?

Is it the freedom of having no responsibilities and only worrying about yourself?

I know a man in his mid forties who never got married by choice, he wanted to enjoy his freedom, and let me tell you I have never seen anyone sadder looking in my life. He has the cool car, the nice house the things most married people strive for but at the same time he has nothing, no wife no partner no kids no substance in his life, just decadence and he is very lonely, nothing means anything to him, he over dosed on freedom. 

He doesn’t say he is sad but when he holds my daughter I can see the sadness.

Bob Dylan and  Janice Joplin said it best, “When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose.” and ”Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.”

Book Meme

I have been tagged by Sara.

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)
The nearset book was ” The Lucifer Effect. Understanding how good people turn evil by Philip Zimbardo”

2. Open the book to page 123.
Alright

3. Find the fifth sentence.
Alright

4. Post the next three sentences. ( I clearly didn’t follow this rule, I say Post as much as you want, it’s a free world, innit?)

Hellman: ” What would you be? Would you be a bastard?”
Sarge: “Yes Mr. correctional officer”
Hellman:”Well let me hear you say it”
Sarge: “I’m sorry sir, I will not say it.”
Hellman:”Why the hell won’t you say it?”
Sarge:”Because I do not use any profane language.”
Hellman:”Well. Why did you apply it to yourself? What are you?”
Sarge: ” I am whatever you want me to be, Mr. correctional officer.”
Hellman:”Well, if you say it, if you say that you are a bastard – you wanna know something – then you just proved my point. that you are a bastard. You say so. Then why don’t you say it?”
Sarge: “I’m sorry sir, I will not say it.”

Hellman senses that he has lost another challenge, and her reverts to the divide-and-conquer tactic that has proven so effective before:”Now, boys, you wanna get a good night sleep tonight, don’t you?”
They all say:”Yes sir!”
Hellman:”Well, I think we gonna wait a little bit, to let 2093 think about just what a bastard he is. And then maybe he’ll tell the rest of us that he thinks so.”
(This is an unexpected power struggle between the most controlling , power hungry guard and the prisoner who until now has been a totally obedient prisoner so much so that he is ridiculed as “Sarge” whom most prisoners and guards dislike as they all have considered him to be nothing more than a military robot. He is proving that he has another admirable facet to his character; he is a man of principle).

Well I posted a lot more cos I didn’t wanna leave you hangin, lol.

5. Tag five people.

Hamza, Asoom, Hal, Bambam, KJ

Because No One Demanded It – DS Lite: The Conclusion

** A post contirbution by William ** 

Yes, it’s the final instalment of the saga.

As a last ditch effort last week to get the DS Lite, I decided to resort to sympathetic magic. I went to Future Shop and purchased the 18-in-1 accessory kit for the DS, complete with case, screen protectors, car adaptor, etc. The theory is that you create an environment that will make the desired object want to be there, so it makes itself available. About an hour later, my wife called to say that she had found a DS Lite in stock at a store. Coincidence? I think not!

The really unusual thing is that Mrs. William isn’t nearly as enthusiastic about all things to do with video games, so her actually looking for the system and then buying it is sufficiently out of character that I am willing to believe that the sympathetic magic approach worked!

I love the system, the kids are already deciding what games they are going to buy for when they “borrow” it from me and everything is good.

And contrary to what Bob predicted, finally achieving my goal hasn’t resulted in my losing the will to live.

In the comments to the second post, Hamza provided a good example of what I WON’T do for a DS Lite, although that list was getting smaller by the day. If only I had realized that all I needed to do was sleep with someone (i.e. my wife) to get it . . .

Sugar Daddy

Me: Gosh, work is soooo overrated. And the whole career thing nonsense. I wish I could just not have to work. If I ever get a chance to not HAVE to work I would so take it!
So right now I am grooming my husband to become my sugar daddy.

Nahfeh Girlfriend: I need one of those.

Me: You so should get one of those.

Nahfeh Girlfriend: but I don’t want an old and ugly man.

Me: Or worse, a good looking Daddy’s boy, they are the worst, looks and money but as dumb as doorknobs.

Nahfeh Girlfriend: OMG yeah, these are the worst.

Me: See I did the smart thing.

Nahfeh Girlfriend: What did you do?

Me: I married potential.

Nahfeh Girlfriend: POTENTIAL? HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA.

Me: Yeah, Sugar daddy potential.

Nahfeh Girlfriend: I am sooooooo gonna use that line one day.

DS-peration Part Deux

**Guest post by William**

The same day as my last post, I got home to find out there had been a phone message. The blackboard where we write notes to each other had a cryptic comment in my oldest daughter’s handwriting:

Dad – DS rain-check

Unfortunately, I had walked in the door only about two minutes before said daughter headed out to a movie. Since she had taken a cell phone so that she could call for a ride home, I tried getting hold of her right away to get more details.

No answer. No answer. No answer. I guess she was going to wait to turn on the cell phone until she needed to reach us.

Meanwhile, daughter number 2 offered the opinion that the call had come from Rogers Video. Since the only inquiry I had made at Rogers was with regard to the Zelda DS Lite bundle, I was especially anxious to find out whether that was the reason for the call; the only problem with that theory was that I didn’t remember giving them my contact information.

Later on, my wife went to pick up daughter and friends, and brought them back for a snack. I managed to work it into the conversation unobtrusively: “DS Lite rain-check! Phone call! Explain!”

There was little more in the way of details. The caller hadn’t identified a store, hadn’t left his name or number, and didn’t provide any more information. “He asked where he could reach you, and I panicked. I didn’t think you would want me to give out your work number.” (I obviously haven’t been clear enough with my family my level of DS-peration in this quest!) He had hung up before she could get anything else.

“Just out of curiosity, why did you panic? Did you think it was the police trying to track me down? How much trouble do you think I get up to in a typical day?” I asked. She had no answer. By this time, the stores were closed.

The next day, I called the stores where rain-checks existed, and was met with derision. “DSs? We don’t got no steenking DSs!” they said, in a pathetic “Treasure of the Sierra Madre” accent. Dead end.

Meanwhile, support from the 7aki Fadi crowd has been awesome: Qwaider is going to hand deliver a copy of my last rant to the Nintendo headquarters. (Probably not really.) KJ is shopping for a special edition DS in the Middle East. (Even less likely.) 7aki is scouring her city of residence to see whether she’s a better shopper than I am. (Not so far.) Bob has offered to test any games I buy on his son’s DS Lite. (Isn’t he a trouper?) Dana has offered up a Game Boy Color. (Thanks, but we already have a healthy supply of every model that came beforethe DS.)

On the Friday, a massive snowfall made it impossible for me to commute in to work. I ended up driving other family members to their school and work. I dropped off my wife at the department store where her company leases space, opted not to park and go in (the snow was really coming down hard), and instead went home to try and accomplish some work of my own. At the end of the day I repeated the route, and ended up having to wait while she finished up the last of her duties. Wandering through the video game section, I asked about DS Lites. “We got some in overnight, but sold the last one about an hour ago.” So close, and yet so far.

Only two stores advertised in the weekend flyers that they had the DS Lite, one with a game and one without. Naturally, neither of them actually had any in stock.

On the weekend, I recorded the numbers and extensions from all of the electronics departments in all the stores in the surrounding area that could conceivably have DS Lites in stock. Each morning, I called each one. Each time, no luck.

On Monday, I went into the Future Shop across the street to check again, to no avail. Since I was there anyway, I pulled out the raincheck they had issued me a couple of weeks before. “You’re going to call me when this comes in, right?” The woman said, “Oh, I think Dave was trying to get in touch with you last week.” Maybe Dave needs to learn the basics of leaving a phone message! “He’ll be in around 11:00am, and I will get him to call you.”

I return to the office, and update 7aki and Bob on my progress. There is talk of getting a cake and streamers, just in case. My phone rings at about 12:15pm: “Hi, yeah . . . I think someone sold the DS Lite I had put aside for you. I may be getting some more in later this week. You had asked about the black or the red/black one; would a pink one do?” Now that’s a dilemma: the girls would love a pink one, but I am not sure that is quite my style. “Sure, whatever. I can always cover it with a ‘skin’ that depicts manly things, just to send the right message.”

End of the day Monday, I call all of the stores again: no new shipments.

End of the day Tuesday, same thing.

Today is Wednesday . . .

It’s been one of those weeks where ..

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… I want to either crawl under a rock or stay under the covers until it ends.

Cat-astrophe

** A contribution by Bob**

Topper didn’t come to work today because………..<spinning the wheel of excuses, where she stops nobody knows>……. “Her cat had to have emergency surgery”

The amazing part was nobody knew she had a cat. And Topper talks non-stop about herself so its strange this cat has never come up in conversation. Also, Topper never mentions the cat by name.

Topper update: Senior management has been so thoroughly impressed by Topper’s work, that Topper has been given the responsibility of managing the organization’s biggest and most expensive project.

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