Why 2011 Sucked Ass And Why I Am Glad It’s Behind Me

How I got my ass kicked

2011 kicked my ass.

Career wise: I got the job of my dreams … and lost it. This sucked for me the most and took me about 6 months to get over. The kicker is? My boss loved me, my team loved me, my bosses boss loved me and the project was so cutting edge and so amazing that it got ATTENTION from major corps …. but due to “budget cuts” the project I was working on got cut and I had to go back to my old job. Talking about it re-opens the wounds. SUCKS.

Health wise: Buddha had a lot of health issues this year. My poor baby. She had a severe asthma attack that landed her in the ER after a 911 call. She had pneumonia in November as well. How much can a 3 year old endure? A lot apparently because she is still bubbly and delicious to nibble on nom nom nom .
Little 7aki broke her arm IN THE SUMMER!!!! And I was just exhausted all the time due to the above points, and I cut my finger!!!!

SUCKS ASS.

Extended family wise: Lots of health issues, its part of getting older I guess and part of life but still SUCKS ASS.

Blog wise: WHAT BLOG? I neglected my blog and all the good stuff that comes with it, due to, HELLO, did you read the above!

We did go on nice trips tough and I did watch A LOT of amazing TV. I did join the gym and I did have fun with friends and I read a lot of GREAT books but in general the year was Meh, Blah and Gaaaaah.

2012… BEHAVE!

The Finger

Oh yes you guessed it. It IS this finger.

So on Saturday I managed to slice my finger and it hurts like a MOFO.

The cut was SO deep, I called out: “Babaaaa 7aaaki! I think my finger is cut really badly” He took one look at it and said: “Calm down” which made me automatically  freak out.  Baba 7aki wanted to administer some first aid so he gets a band-aid and a paper towel to wrap it , yeah, we need a first aid kit, and then he SQUEEZED MY FINGER, you don’t understand, the cut was REALLY deep, so I was like, what are you doing? he said, I am applying pressure to stop the bleeding, and he squeezed again, and then I started to see stars and almost fainted. The end.

No. Of course that’s not the end!  Baba 7aki was not allowed to touch my finger after that.

All this happened at 7 pm , we had people coming over for Iftar(dinner) at 8:30. We had food in the oven, buddha was sleeping and I did not want to wake Buddha so I drove myself to the clinic, oh yes I did, and waited for 2 hours to get seen and fixed up.

I have 4 stitches and I am MAD, because see, Monday was my first day off on a 10 day vacation and my MOFO finger needs to be wrapped for SEVEN days before I can go get my stitches taken out.

So for 5 days I can’t get it wet, meaning, HOW WILL I WASH MY HAIR????

Then 2 days I have to freak out every time someone touches my hand because I am removing the bandage.

Then on Sunday I go to get the stitches taken out which leaves me only 3 days of fun.

FML.

The Reason Behind the Series Of Unfortunate Events

It was indeed PROVEN, with not a shadow of a doubt that all the trouble coming lately into my life is from the Evil eye .

It’s an eye I thought was the eye of a friend, but no, this eye turned out to be the eye of EVIL.

I from now on will call that person the Evil eye.

And believe it or not it is the eye of Bob. Are you shocked? I am beyond shocked! My foundations have been rocked.

Exhibit A: And I have all that in writing by the way.

Bob: I wish they have a lot of problems with your project so you can stay longer.

After my goodbye lunch , MY GOODBYE LUNCH, which HELLO, means GOODBYE, SEE YA, I get called to my managers office:

Manager: 7aki, we need you to stay on for an extra week.

At first I thought it was a coincidence, nah, Bob’s eye is a friend, it’s not Evil at all, so I shrug it off.

Exhibit B:

Bob: Oooooh,you’re so lucky you are working there, not like the hell hole I am in.

I get sick with a brain tumour , not really, but it felt like it.

I start to suspect Bob’s eye, but I again shrug it off.

Exhibit C:

I get called into my old job for a couple of days for consultation, what can I say, they love me there!

And Bob says: Ooooooh I am so excited.

At that point I wanted to punch Bob in the face, especially his eye.

But Alas; the final straw that PROVED beyond a reasonable doubt that Bobs eye is indeed Evil was yesterday which I was working from home.

Bob says, in email : I just went down for nice cold ice-cap with a shot of mocha! It is scorchin outside. Its nice you don’t have to commute.

Guess what happens? Not four hours after he sends his email, OUR AIR CONDITIONER BREAKS DOWN!!!!!!!

And quote” It is scorchin outside” end quote.

I rest my case.

And Bob is no longer my friend, especially his eye.

Is It the Evil Eye or The Begining of the END?

There was a series of unfortunate events that just bombarded me in the past 3 weeks. It’s like I had a lot of bad things piled up waiting to hit me and BOOM they came one after the other.

- Started my new job but not really because my old job begged to keep me on for an extra week (they can’t live without me, hehehhe). My old job was pretty stressful, I’m talking S.T.R.E.S.S.F.U.L so I couldn’t wait to get out so when they asked me to stay an extra week I died a little  inside.

- Started working on new job for one day then got into a 3 day heavy-duty technical course, AND I GOT A MIGRAINE THE SECOND DAY. It took me 2 days to recover from that. So imagine I am trying to be so technical like and get a lot of technical info WHILE HAVING A SPLITTING HEADACHE.

- after the course I worked at my new job for one day.

- Then I GET SOOOOOOOOO SICK I don’t work for a whole week ,tangent, Thanks to web MD who I will call WEB ASS from now on I thought I had a brain tumor and I was going to die young and leave my children motherless, word to the wise, don’t use Dr. Google, IT”S EVIL, end of tangent. So again I could not start the THE NEW JOB I was DYING TO START. People, DYING to start, you don’t understand, did you hear me, DYING TO START IT.

- I go to my new job for one day.

- I come home all excited because , yay, I feel better, I had neglected my kids and house for the week because I was sick so let me feel more productive and do a load of laundry, and the EFFING WASHING MACHINE BREAKS DOWN. It fills with water, soaks the clothes and then would not drain, so I am in a dilemma, I can’t open the door or the laundry room would flood, so I bite the bullet, got a bucket, opened the door, and emptied the washer WITH AN EFFING CUP. yes you heard me, a CUP. I bailed the water out of the front loading washer cup by painful cup.

To add insult to injury we had to take our laundry to the neighbours to wash.

- The next day my notebook at work gets hit by a virus, a nasty, EVIL virus, so YAAAAAAAAAAY

- That same day I am still not %100 so I sleep on the train on my way back home AND I MISS MY STOP!!!! I had to take a cab from the OTHER train station to where I had parked my car. At least the cabby was a brother so I wished him a Ramadan Mubarak.

- The next day I go to withdraw some cash from the bank machine and the machine denies the card and asks me to go contact my bank. WHAT? I JUST GOTS PAIDZ. Turnes out someone stole my card info ( not the actual card) made a fake card and went on a shopping spree in Montreal, 404 dollars before the bank clued in it was not me, so I had to go to the bank to cancel my bank card , issue a temp one, and they are launching and investigation to get ma money back. I WANTZ MAZ MONEYZ BACKZ. Did all that on my lunch break

- I go back to work and I find an email from my old boss asking me to go help them out on something I worked on A MONTH AGO.

- I go home and go out to exercise on my roller blades to blow off some steam and I wipe out ON THE ASPHALT, and OUCH my arm still hurts.

How much more can a person handle people?

I need a drink, or something more powerful, like horse tranquilizer, ahhahahhaha.

Anyhoo I hope that this string of bad luck is all behind me because, hey, I had a good day today!!!!!!! FINALLY.

————————————————————————————————————————————-

So you know why the washing machine broke? Stay tuned for the next post because you will pee your pants when you know why.

Work, Red Shoes And Stuff.

Man it feels I have not blogged for ages. Well I did not blog for ages.

I have been really busy at work, no time to screw around  busy.

Oh, and in case you didn’t know I have 2 kids now. And nobody told me that having 2 kids is like having NO LIFE. I am telling you, one kid is a piece of cake add number 2 and all of a sudden there is no time for ANYTHING that has to do with YOU aka the Mom.

And I am already getting pressure from the family to have number 3, you know what people SHUT UP about number 3. I think I am DONE….maybe? darn it, you see, those little buggers are so cute and cuddly and …and … Buddha bellied…. CUTE….until they puke all over the bed, and the floor and the wall.Actually, after second thought, I think I’m done.

An update about ma familia:

Little 7aki is 6 now, wow, she’s a big girl, she’s kooky and crazy but in a good way, she likes to run with no inhibition, she would choose the black bike that has flames on it instead of the purple bike with streamers, fearless and brave.

She is pretty much kind of sort of self reliant now. And so fun to go out with to shop and chill where I don’t have to run after her and say stop and no and stuff. She likes to watch wipe out and also , YES I ADMIT IT, Americas funniest  home videos. What? It’s funny OK :P. It’s just when she giggles I want to bottle it up forever.

Little Buddha on the other hand, OH MY GOD If she didn’t look so much like me, I am serious our baby photos are identical , I would have thought she got switched at the hospital! She is so different from her sister, how can I word this very nicely, WHINY. hehe.

She whines AAAAALLLLLLLL THHHHHHHEEEEEE TIIMEEEEEEEE. For example, if she wants to eat she would say, kinda wimperish and cryish: mommy, fooooooood, NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. She really and honestly says now. She tells me, mama, haaaaaaaaalp me, LOL. I swear help with an A, Haaaaaaaalpme , kinda connected in one word, I want to tape it because it is sooooo funny! She speaks in a Khallili English dialect, HAHAHAHAHAHA.

She’s a Diva too, OMG try and change her clothes when she doesn’t want to;  hell would break loose, I mean , heap on the floor, kicking legs, screaming, and saying, off,off, NOWWWWWWWW.

She likes to carry this little purse around and she’s ALWAYS wearing my high heeled shoes around the house, no word of a lie, always click clacking on the hardwood floor.

And oh, she’s only 23 months!!!! WHAT???? This is supposed to be happening like when she like turns like THIRTEEN!!!!! …Like.

Little 7aki on the other hand would just say OK to whatever, wear this, eat that , don’t do this or that, so easy going,  until she goes outside and terrorizes ALL the kids on the street  seriously, no one messes with little 7aki.

Little Buddha is loved  by all because she is such a lamb, OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE!!!!! She is the boss of baba 7aki that one. And her Grandfathers favorite too, their bond is so beautiful and precious, brings joy to my heart every time I see it.

My girls; little 7aki who has the heart of an angel, so loving and caring and would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. And my little Buddha who lights up my life with her spunk and that sparkle in her eyes.

Although you two wear me out I would give anything to you….unless it’s my new red shoes, Buddha , I know you are only 23 months old but you better lay your hands off of those or I’m coming after you.

The Day I Lost My Voice, My Eyeballs Melted and I Went Blind

Not figuratively but literally.

I have been fighting a cold for the last week. Usually this kind of cold would be like NOTHING but because I am the sole nourishment source for one kid and the sole entertainment source for the other it left me spent.

After I started feeling better yesterday , kablaaaaaaaam,  I lost my voice , my voice comes and goes but it surly goes in the most inopportune times.

Like yesterday at the optometrist:

Dr: So tell me what do you see on the wall

Me: A, F, D, pshpshpshpshpsh (pshpshpshpshpsh means that I can’t speak above a whisper) 

Dr: What was that?

Me: I said pshpshpshpshpsh

Dr: ?

Me: Waaaaaaaaaaa3333333.

Let me tell you about my appointment, it was like Chinese torture. For a whole hour I was whisked from one machine to the other until I felt like my eyeballs were going to fall out.

First I was interrogated about my health history. It took so long that I thought they were going to make me pee in a cup after. heheeeeeeeee.

After that it was the machine that would try to figure out how screwed my new prescription was, for anyone who knows what I am talking about it’s the machine with the little house at the end of the road.

Then the machine that would take a picture of the back of the eye ball. First you have to focus on looking forward on a little red dot and then, KABLAM a BLINDING flash , that leaves you …. well … blind… for like 30 seconds. They had to flash my eyes three times. THREE.

All that and I haven’t seen the doctor yet!!!!

Then I go to the doctor and the torture of : “Which lens, number one or number 2″  begins, I hate this part. It’s so stressful I hate it. If you say number 2 and then after you get the glasses it turns out to be number one. Waaaaaa33333.

After she figured out my prescription she then puts eye-drops in my eyes to check for glaucoma, the eye-drops are yellow  ( ew) and I felt my eyeballs were going to melt I swear. It was a weird sensation I have never felt before.

I THOUGHT I was done but noooooooooooo, now they are going to check my peripheral vision, this was THE WORST part. Worse than the blinding flash and the eyeball melting drops.

First I had to wear an eye patch, a pirate eye patch. And that was the best part.

Then they put my head in this white sphere (ish) tunnel (ish) machine and I had to click a mouse every-time I saw a dot of light. Trust me after two minutes focusing forward with one eye you start seeing flashing lights everywhere. After the third minute of this torture I was just clicking away wether I saw lights or not.LOOOL. I had to repeat that for my other eye.

Finally after that I got waaaaaaaay cool new glasses.

And then my eyeballs fell out.

The End.

OH MY GOD

It’s -20 degrees which feels like -31

K-I-L-L   M-E    N-O-W.

And to top things off my Mom is leaving tommorow, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Biddi mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I couldn’t have said it better myself

“I’m feeling very DONE, either way. My skin is stretched beyond insanity, my ribs feel bruised, the heartburn is unbearable (I get it from EVERYTHING, including WATER THAT IS TOO COLD), and I’ve started throwing up again. My clothes don’t fit, I’ve graduated to the uber-sexy nursing bras, and I’m already not sleeping. Bring it, baby. Let’s get the real party started.
I’ll provide the footwear.”
Source

Yup, EXACTLY how I feel but I am 37 weeks now, I am due on October 6th.

Peanut, GET OUT ALREADY!

In other news my mom is coming on Saturday, wooohooo, can’t wait. I havn’t seen her since July 2005. Imagine? So I can’t wait to see her and little 7aki can’t wait to see her.

I have been off for a couple of weeks now, I took my vacation time that I saved during the year and I am sooo glad I did, OMG I love not having to go to work.

Getting some things done here and there, cooking more healthy for the family instead of eating out and junky food so I am happy about that.

But honestly, the baby needs to come out. I no longer look like a cute soccer ball, I graduated to a blimp!

Yup, this is me.

Yup, this is me.

STUFF TO STEAL

I stole this meme from “Life: The Ongoing Education

I am: Super excited about having the baby but at the same time terrified of how busy it will be, the pain of breastfeeding, not sleeping and not having enough time for my little 7aki and baba 7aki or most importantly myself.
I think: I will be OK.
I know: That next year will be one of the best years of my life although taking care of a baby is not that easy I am happy that I don’t have to study or work or do anything of that sort for a whole year, been studying and working ALL MY LIFE.
I have: So many things to do in the next month it’s not even funny, biddi mamaaaaa.. waaaaaaaaaa333333333.
I wish: I had all my family and friends here living in Canada. I always miss them so much. And I wish I had a Dad in my life now and in the past.
I hate: How lazy I am sometimes. And I hate Braxton Hicks HATE THEM. And I hate how the days are so short and I hate…OK I’ll stop. I hate a lot. LOL.
I miss: Being active. Rollerblading, biking, camping and being free of all responsibilities.
I fear: The loss of loved ones. It terrifies me.
I hear: The birds reall early in the morning. the silence of really late at night and the clicking of keyboards and the thunder, oh the thunder, will it stop EFFING raining this summer. Grrrrrrrrr.
I smell: The smell of bookstores. It is my favorite smell in the world. And also the smell of Jasmine
I crave: Stuffed grape leaves and Mansaf.
I search: For something that I am missing but I don’t know what it is. I am always searching for soemthing. I also search for my car keys because I have pregnancy brain and I can’t focus to save my life.
I wonder: About my future a lot.
I regret: Nothing.
I love: The people in my life. My Husband and daughter especially.
I ache: EVERYWHERE. IS THIS baby ever gonna come out OR WHAT!!!!
I am not: Religiuos.
I believe: That good things happen to good people.
I dance: Rarely.
I sing: A lot, especially in the shower.
I cry: When I am sick. I do , I am such a baby when I am sick.
I fight: For my rights with tooth and nail. Nobody is going to rob me of my rights without a fight. Luckily,  it happens rarely that I need to fight. Right now I am fighting the urge to fall asleep, had a huge lunch… YAWN.
I win: In poker all the time although I can’t play that well. I think my bluffing skills are superior.
I lose: Weight when I am stressed.
I never: Want to experience being poor ever again.
I always: Carry a good amount of cash in my wallet you never know when you need it.
I confuse: Peoples names all the time. Pregnancy brain or not I am sooo bad with names that I don’t know how people still like me.
I listen: Really well and I remember everything I was told. Be carefull what you tell me. I retain weird stuff in my memmory. Except for names bizare but yeah.
I can usually be found: At home.
I am scared: Of the dark inside the house but does not bother me one bit outside. Well I am really not scared of the dark itself, I am scared of that person hiding in the dark waiting for me to sleep.
I need: Some alone time every once in a while.
I am happy about: My life in general. I am just bored a little.
I imagine: My future all the time. Right now I am imagining how Sept 2nd is going to be. I can’t wait for Sept 2nd.

So go on ahead. Do this meme. It’s actually fun.

Biddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii


Click to enlarge, trust me, click to enlarge.

From left to right:
Stuffed cabbage
kubbeh and samboosek
Lentil soup
Stuffed grape leaves and stuffed zucchini
MANSAF , bidddddddddddiiii mansaaaaaaaaf
Spinach pies, bidddddddddi spinach piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiies like grandma makes them
Sfiha
Shawerma
Fattoush

Biddi my mother in law :( .

I would have said biddi Mama but my mom can’t make any of these to save her life, LOOOOOOL.

No no she can make them, but my mother in law makes them better, and i am pregnant and I need PERFECTION hehehehe.

But never the less, biddi mama too, so she can itdali3ny :( .

PS: I LOVE wordpress, did you see how the pictures are so neat and tidy? You now can upload as many pictures as you want at the same time and load them as a gallery, LOVE IT. Otherwise this post would have taken me hours to load, hehehehe.

7aki Peanut

The 7aki Fadi house-hold is happy to announce that there is another little 7aki on the way which we will call 7aki peanut for now because it’s just as big as a peanut and because we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl.

So join me in congratulating me on this big endeavor.

Well it’s not big yet but I am still amazed at how such a tiny little thing can cause so much havoc . Yes, the whole nine yards, the 24/7 nausea, the fatigue oh the fatigue . How can I be so tired all the time???? I mean I just woke up and I am sleepy. I want my mommy :( .

BUT I am hoping I will get over these things soon so that I can eat and get fat , LOL.

My cravings so far :

Greek Salad and all fresh salads: OK I can’t get enough, give me Greek salad with extra Feta and extra olives, yuuuuummmmmmm. No oil, just lemon for dressing, oil kinda makes me nauseous.

Ice Cream: OK I hate(d) Ice cream, I do, I barely eat it but this is all I want to eat man!

Fresh fruit: WHAT???? Fresh fruit??? Since when do I like fresh fruit??? I want oranges and more oranges and pears and apples and bananas and watermelon and and and… I want it ALL.

Tomatoes: Everybody who knows me knows I HATE(d) tomatoes, but I want to eat them now, bizarre.

Sesame seed Bagel with cream cheese, tomatoes and cucumbers: Yuuuuuummmmmmmmmm. Every day for breakfast.

What I cannot stomach which I could eat EVERYDAY before:

Burgers: I’d rather die than smell a burger, ewwwwwwwwww.

Steak: Ew.

Chili: Ew but man I love chili :( I miss chili, but right now, EW, seriously, ew.

I guess all meat products in general. Kinda depends on the day mood and situation.

Anything that is heavy I can’t stomach.

Perfume: well it’s not food but makes me wanna puke.

OK this post was not what I planned to say, LOL.

I am hungry right now and I am going to go eat, it kinda helps with the nausea, the constant eating I mean helps…..hmmmm, spaghetti maybe? Yummmmmm

The day 7aki got slapped, AGAIN!

Remember that one time when I was slapped by a monkey? I think it was a sign of things to come.

See, my Mom is a very peaceful person, never in her life did she have to resort to using her loud voice or physical power to get her point across. All she had to do is use her stare, we called in “The death stare”, she will just keep staring at you until she breaks you, LOL. For real, she would just not let up and keep looking you straight in the eye until you didn’t know what to do and then you would surrender and do whatever she wanted you to do.

For example she would ask me: “Go do the dishes”. Like a smart ass I would say: “Ma biddi (NO)”, and my mom would unleash the death stare, at first I would defiantly look her in the eye, and then after 2 seconds flat I would start looking away, then in another 2 seconds flat I would start giggling nervously, and then I would get up and do the dishes (zay ilshatra), mind you , my Mom at this point had not even uttered one word.

So one time my mom woke up really early, 6 in the morning, on a weekend, I also woke up and went looking for Mom to find that she was in the bathroom, so I snuck really quietly and sat down next to the closed bathroom door and waited for her to come out.

My Mom opened the door so I stood up, screamed really loudly and grabbed her. She got sooooooo scared that she slapped me.

It was the most painful KA-TESH slap EVER (The monkey slap was less painful, LOL) .

I really wonder, why didn’t she find it as funny as I did? HAAHHAHAHA.

Moral of the story 1: Never sneak up on my Mom to scare her.

Moral of the story 2: I perfected the death stare and I scare little 7aki into doing whatever I want, hehehehe.

Kill me now or I’ll murder someone!!!!!! (Warning: Mature language)

There’s this lady at work who SINGS OUT LOUD with the fucking radio, could you for Fucks sake shut the Fuck up!!!!!

 I am raging right now, LOL, for real, she is soooooooooooo annyoing God help me, if I go postal I swear to God I am heading to her cubicle right away then I will shoot myself after.

 And by the way, she’s like at least , what? a 100 feet away? (William and Bob, is it 100?) and I can still fucking hear her.

 I HATE PEOPLE.

Typhoid Mary

I am being “affectionately” called Typhoid Mary at work for the past week (or week and a half? I lose track).

Why do you ask? Why do my friends at work love me so much?

This is how the name came about to stick to me:

I have been hacking and coughing for the past FOREVER every five minutes or so at work because 7aki is sick :( .

All of a sudden Bob yells from his cubicle and says ” whoa there Typhoid Mary” addressing me, I had no clue who that was so the ever helpfull resident Encyclopedia William rushed to google her, wikkipedia her to explain to me who she was.

Here’s Mary’s story:

“Mary Mallon (September 23, 1869 – November 11, 1938), also known as Typhoid Mary, was the first person in the United States to be identified as a healthy carrier of typhoid fever. Over the course of her career as a cook, she infected 47 people, three of whom died from the disease. Her fame is in part due to her vehement denial of her own role in causing the disease, together with her refusal to cease working as a cook. She was forcibly quarantined twice by public health authorities and died in quarantine. It was also possible that she was born with the disease, as her mother had typhoid fever during her pregnancy….. [Source]

Now I am not called 7aki anymore, I am being called Typhoid Mary.

Bob sent me an email with the title Typhoid Mary and it had this picture:

typhoidmary.jpg

Now how mean is that ????

I am being bullied by William and Bob sniff sniff, and I need a vacation, sniff sniff, I have been sick for effing ever, sniff sniff  :(

Ana Biddi Mama …. waaaaa33333333

Biddi Mama

I realy miss her :(.

It’s all Tinkerbellas fault.
.

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