Overheard at the Office: Birthdays and Butter Chicken

7aki: The case of the deadly butter Chicken

Bob:  Hahahahaha – Are you gonna read it?

7aki:  If you buy it I will borrow it from you.

Bob:  I thought you might get it for me – for my birthday.

7aki:  Which is in April.

Bob:  Awwww you remembered – the month. Bonus Bob points if you know the date.

7aki:  The 20th?  Or the 14th

Bob:  No bonus points for you. I know Mar 2 is someone’s birthday

7aki:  You have it in your Iphone.  The 19th? Was I even close?

Bob:

Capture

7aki:  HAHAHAHA.   But Awwww, what a cute baby.   The 12th?

Bob:  Just so that l’m clear on where l my relative importance ranking, please tell me you know  Ambigous Help Desk dudes Birthday? office loud mouth? Burper?

7aki:  When the f**k is your birthday.

Bob:  I should just adopt the day you thought was my birthday as my birthday. I’m now doubting my own birthdate.

Capture

7aki:  I said 14th the first time! That was really close, and then I said the 12th??? So I knew it was between the 10th and the 20th.

Capture

Bob:  Hahahahaha…. close enough from you is the equivalent of I love you from most people. I’ll take that.

Overheard in May – Testosterone

Bob: So I’m reading this story of the Indian dude Anil Kumar who gave insider secrets to a hedge fund. Anil had everything – power, money, prestige etc – he risked it all for about 2 million dollars.That is nothing compared to the compensation he was earning. I don’t get why people risk for so little. What was the motivation? There wasn’t even a chick involved here.It can’t be greed.

Maybe smart people are just stupid.

7aki: Today there was this guy talking about risk taking (specifically in the financial sector) and how it affects your body. This guy is very successful and success increases the testosterone level in men which causes over confidence which causes people to take stupid risks.

He is a text book case.

Bob: I hate arrogance – and l actually love watching arrogant people go down.
I’m glad l’m awesome without the arrogance – LOL

7aki: Hahahaha.

You must have the lowest level of testosterone EVER since you are so averse to risk.

Add that to the multiple insults I rain on you.

Bob: Ouch!

If l didn’t have such a low testosterone count – l would respond

7aki: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I blame the foot. (His ankle was broken and he was immobile)

It totally de- testosteronized you

Bob: Your passive aggressive behavior is increasing in intensity.

Are you sure my foot is not an excuse for some other deep seeded frustration?

Tell me about your child hood. LOL

7aki: HAHAHAHA.

And all this time I thought I was being flat out aggressive! I have to kick it up a notch.

My childhood sucked ass.

Bob: Maybe l can borrow some of your testosterone.

You should change your signature line to:

Don’t Mess,
7aki

7aki: I am hormonally imbalanced and I can’t even blame pregnancy.

I just crazy. LOL

That’s what happens when you have too many uncontrollable things in your life.

And who takes the brunt of my frustrations? You and baba 7aki. LOL.

Bob: On the crazy scale 7aki – you don’t even rate :)

7aki: And you have lots of testosterone Bob *hugs*

Bob: hahahahaha…too funny.

I love us.

Overheard at the Office

Yes they are!

Bob: This is 2 days in a row – where you are too well made up to work in this joint. You should be working in the financial district.

7aki: I should!!!!! Tell those bitchez!

Bob: Like they say, dress for the job you want, not the one you have…I look forward to Monday to see what else comes out of your closet.

7aki: A gay man.

Bob: Hahahahaha.

The End

(This post was written by the Bob man, comments in bold by 7aki)

7aki has left us for a new job. She has decided that she would rather get paid more and go where her talents will be appreciated then stay here with her friends. Apparently our unconditional love and affection for her and our hatred for all other things was not enough enticement. So l want to wish her good luck and hopefully she will either screw up royally and will return back to her job with us OR she will be successful and build her empire and hire me.
Since 7aki is incapable of maintaining friendships, l have compiled a “7aki By Number index’ to remember her time with us- and they were good times!! I will miss you friend.

903 – number of lunches shared with 7aki
375 – number of times Bob wasn’t hungry at lunch (That’s why Bob is a liiiittle bit chubby :p)
700 – number of times we had to validate William for lunch
$7500 – amount spend on lunches with 7aki (Bob, I want my money back)
4 – number of movies seen with 7aki
0 – number of those movies that were chick flicks (that’s why we love 7aki)
8 – terabytes of movies downloaded and viewed by 7aki in her fortress of solitude aka basement
1 – number of times William was referred to as a nerd in a 7aki blog
6- number of months William was upset about being referred to as a nerd
$15 – amount of money won by 7aki in poker games by stealing from William
357 – number of times 7aki called me a MOFO ( Bob, you are a MOFO , make that 358)
2 – number of times we have said goodbye to 7aki
1 – number of times we have said goodbye to Bob
0 – number of times we have said goodbye to William
1 – pairs of smokin red shoes
15 – number of ways 7aki has asked me to kill her
1 – number of times 7aki has gone lingerie shopping with her team lead ( I cannot BELIEVE you still talk about this, let it go MOFO,  359)
1 – number of times Bob has fixed a coworkers toilet (hahahahaha, I can’t believe you did this)
1,208 – number of times William has offered directions and/or help to the general public
221 books read by 7aki..btw based on my calculations 7aki would need 12 hour commute daily to consume this much literature
95% – the percentage of all media content (includes books, TV, movies, music, dead sea scrolls etc) in the world that William has consumed ( dead sea scrolls. bwaaaaaahahahahaha, funny Bob, funny!)
0.01% – percentage of all medial consumed by William that is useful (unless your playing trivial pursuit at the Pub) ( that is soooo true! Hahahahahaha)
3 – number of personal items on 7aki desk
221 – number of personal items on Williams desk
0 – number of personal items on Bob’s desk
5 – number of people asked to smell the urine of one of our coworkers (Ew , Bob maybe I should bog about this coworker)
0 – the number of people that actually took up the offer (one of the people asked was our manager, LOL)
210 – favourite number of 7aki
SO4 – Least favourite number of 7aki (MOFO bib bib)
67 – number of months 7aki pirated TV channels
10 – number of months of 7aki paid for TV channels
587 – number of trips to the A$$ food court
150 – number of trips to an A$$ food court with no lighting (remember butt crack guy?)
250 – number of unread emails in William’s INBOX pertaining to lunch plans sent by 7aki ( Remember Bob when William got so upset one time because of the CRAZY number of emails and threatened to un-friend us, IN REAL LIFE)
19- number of ethnic groups that have been by disparaged 7aki (it’s just i hate ALL people equally)
19 – number of ethnic groups that 7aki knows of.
2 – number of hours doing real work on an average day
3 – number of hours internet surfing and blogging on an average day
1 – number of hours spent for lunch on an average day
1 – number of hours spent on coffee, pee and Bob breaks on an average day
$16,200- commuting cost to work for the past 5 years (MOFO transit)
15 days – amount of days it takes for the 7aki family to earn $16,200 (um, no, that’s what YOU MAKE Bob, NET, LOL)
340 – number of times 7aki felt bad because she didn’t feel bad (I just don’t feel bad sometimes when I SHOULD feel bad!!)
12- number of months off work due to pregnancy
30 – number of days actually spent caring for the little 7aki (mama 7aki arrived) (hahahaha,biddi mama)
1,386,789,958 – number of GI-NORMOUS HORSE STABLES possessed by 7aki
0 – number of horseshoes possessed by William (7aram William)
1 – rank of William in the office on most likely to go postal (out of 15 when excluding bombing) (Bob, you are soooooo racist!)
1 – rank of 7aki in the office on mostly likely to go postal (out of 15 when including bombing) (RACIST!!)
4 – number of 7aki’s family members that know that 7aki owns a Christmas tree (I wish I did, but I don’t :p )
3 – number of blood diamonds on 7aki’s finger
22 – number of African kids who helped mine those blood diamonds
3 – number of staff to support the 7aki household
0 – number of staff that 7aki knows their first name (I do too know their names)
2002 – the year in which 7aki’s current cell phone was manufactured ( There is a small tiny rumor that I will be getting a blackberry)
2001 – last year in which 7aki actually worked (shut up, if you don’t do anything it does not mean I don’t, MOFO 360 )
A billion Trillion – number of days it will take Bob to accept 7aki’s departure ( :,(  )

Other miscellaneous things that l cannot put a number to but are part of 7aki’s time here:
– V (I want to punch in the face)
– Z (Whatz iz thiszzzzzz)
– Shrimp (shrimp who?)
– Joe Black (anti life)
– Topper (topper yelled at Joe Black and V)
– Aviator
– Mean girls
– That’s what she said
– Cougar
– Brothers
– Sisters
– Plain Jane
– Michael Cuss
– Can l borrow $1000? (Mofo Bib bib)
– WTF
– Urgent
– I’m sooooooo excited (You are just jealous)
– A$$ food court
– Zellars Sheppard Pie
– Sanjay
– Jai (much cooler)
– Nacho Grande (hahahaha, totally forgot about that!)
– Hottie
– Landscape Rock
– Bssh
– Fit-teen Fity-five
– Amistad
– Green Golf Shirt
– Lovitz
– MOFO BIB-BIB (that MOFO bib – bib is KILLING ME)
– 
– Bee
– Water Club
– Zhang (hey, there is a new Zhang)
– Moobs
– BMD
– Typhoid Mary
– BMW
– Peaking (you peaked when you were born, LOL)
– Douche bag

————————————————————————

Is this like the longest post ever?

Who’s Funnier?

Me: Check this out it is soooooo funny! http://thebloggess.com/?p=7306

Bob: Funny stuff.
Your ‘un-review‘ post is funny as well.
Who is funnier? You or 7aki?

Me: You tell me.

Bob: I like them both.
7aki is just a family friendly version of you.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAZ.

————————————————————–

You got it from the source.

Overheard in the Lunch Room 1

My new cubicle is located right next to the lunch room so I get to hear a lot of chatter during the day so I will start a series called: overheard in the lunch room.

Way too talkative colleague (AKA the Nanny because she sounds like Nanny Fran):  When I go in the shower, first, I scrub real hard and …..

At this point I tuned her out because, DUDE , I didn’t really want the mental image to stay with me all day.

EW..An exchange at 7aki’s office

I am not sure if you remember one of our coworkers that goes by the name Alex , click the link, he is featured in exchange 2 but just to recap he is known to be the cheapest man alive. Oh and he’s kinda dirty too.

Bob: I forgot to tell you the best Alex story…..
The other day he was wearing only shorts in the morning so l asked him if wearing shorts was appropriate (only joking). His response…”I forgot my pants at home”.  That is right up there if his excuse ” I forgot my computer at home” (Yes he once showed up to work and he had forgotten his laptop at home. OMG HAHAHAHAHA).

Anyways, he goes down to MEXX and buys a pair of pants to wear at work.  l’m surprised he would buy at MEXX – because its expensive.  Later in the day, after wearing the pants all day, he put them back in the bag and l don’t know for sure, but l think he was returning them.

Just amazing. And l still hate you.

7aki: OMFG. Imagine who is going to wear the pants after him if he returned them…ewwwwwwwwww.

Bob: The kicker….He rides his bike…so he gets very sweaty.
Still hate you.

7aki: But I love you.

Bob hates me because I am leaving him/work for a whole year to take care of peanut and whenever I get the opportunity I rub it in his face and tell him, “haha, sucks to be yooooooouuuuuuu”.

Bob wishes he was pregnant too. What men would do for a year off.

Yesterday I finalized my paper work and my last day at work? Sept 1st, wooooohoooooooooooo.

Gosh I love Canada, Will be off and get paid for a whole year. LOVE IT.

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