Respect for Women

The first time I tasted total and complete independence I found it liberating.

This happened during my University years, in one of the summer terms to be specific. I had gotten a job that required me to stay away from home for a month. It was the first time I have ever lived , worked and was on my own and it was the most liberating experience I have ever had.

I was away from home, working, making my own decisions albeit it was temporary but it gave me the drive to succeed in my studies, get a job and become my own boss (in terms of money) You make your own money and you spend it however you see fit.

I was lucky to have had a supporting family , and I so do hate using the word lucky because such things are a right not a privilege, but I do say lucky because I do realize how so many other women in Jordan in particular and in the Middle East in general do not have the opportunity to experience independence.

I am not saying only teenage girls but fully grown women even in their 30′s or 40′s who still have some difficulties being the decider in their lives. It’s funny, in a sad way, that even women who were old enough to get married and raise a family and after losing their husbands either ot death or divorce are not allowed to live on their own, yes you can raise kids and shape their lives but you can’t live on you own and decide what to do with your life.

And I sit there and contemplate ways to change the status quo and with all my heart I think our hope for change lies in the future.

Lets raise kids who will grow up to respect women.

It’s a chain and it starts with us women, raise your girls and boys with that goal in mind, raise your boys to respect women and raise your girls to value themselves and their strength who in turn will carry these values on to their kids.

Respect that will lead to many other positive changes.

I know I am a bit late posting for international womens day but I couldn’t let it pass without mention.

Murder in the Name of Honour

I always admired Rana Husseini’s work but after I read her book “Murder in the Name of Honor” I now admire her even more for her courage, drive and continuous fight for the victims of the – so called – honour crimes. She challenges the status quo even if it threatens her life.

Where the media fails to talk about honour crimes around the world in detail Rana Husseini succeeds.

Rana starts us on her journey of becoming the first and only voice in Jordan, at the time, of the victims of the – so called – honour crimes. She read a short article in the newspaper about a woman killed in the name of honour and decided to go , all by herself, to the girls neighbourhood to learn from her family; Why was she murdered? Who killed her? What happened? I daresay a task most courageous men might be afraid to perform.

She details some of the cases, she talks about her supporters but most importantly does not shy from naming the people, mostly big figures in Jordan,  standing in the way of achieving justice for the victims.

What I found very interesting are her interviews with some of the men who have murdered their daughters, sisters or wives. I was interested in seeing the other side of the story, how did these men decide to commit the crime? How were they pushed to doing it and by whom? After committing the crime, how are these men handling it? How do they live with the fact that they killed a loved one?

Although most of these men were celebrated in their neighbourhoods after they committed the crime, they were mostly ruined men after. No one marries their girls to these men in fear that they will do the same to their wife or children. No one in the society that pushed them to perform this crime stood by them after the fact or cared what happened to them. They were simply shunned.

So called honour crimes do not just simply kill the victim but they also ruin families. The crime leaves the family completely ruined and in shambles.

I can’t do the book justice by this review, I urge you to read it. This book is a great resource and full of useful information about honour crimes in the region.

Click here for more of my book reviews

Gotta Love Galloway

For background information click here

I can’t believe Canada would do such a thing. Shameful.

A Dose of Equality: To Kill a Mocking Bird

Just finished reading To kill a Mocking Bird ( This link is phenomenal) by Harper Lee .

This book is great! It’s a story that preludes the civil rights movement as told by a 7 year old girl ( Scout) in the span of 2 years of her life.

What I find so fascinating about the book is how the author was able to deliver the message about equality so well through the most innocent, children.

She is a genus. Think about it, to children everybody is equal, they see no handicap, no social classes ,no color, no ethnicity they just see people. It’s life and other people who taint that beautiful instinct children have.

Now couple this beautiful instinct with a parent who treats his children with respect and intelligence then you have the perfect combination. That parent is Atticus who throughout the book does not let evil defeat him, he keeps instilling the message of kindness to his children that they have to always meet evil with good no matter what.

This novel deals with all kinds of equality issues, poor to rich, handicapped to not, the crazy and the not so crazy, it even tackles the issue of addiction but the most prominent story is the equality between black and white.

The thing that struck me the  most is that Atticus acts exactly the same way everywhere, whether he is in his house, at the court or anywhere he goes, he is the exact same person wherever you see him. If people could only take that message from the book then that would be enough, imagine if all people are always the same to their  children, they don’t act all good and nice in front of other people then they are a beasts at home.

Just be the same person wherever you are.

I cannot urge you enough to go read this book, it’s full of wisdom in a very pure way.

I am glad I read it as an adult and parent because I got so much more out of it.

It is one of my all time favorites.

It’s hard tp pick a book after you read a great one. Maybe I will read ”World Without End” by Ken Follet.

A Dose of Inspiration: Three Cups of Tea

How do I begin with this one?

Today I just finished reading Three cups of tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin and it was the most inspiring REAL story I have ever read about a man educating the girls and boys of Pakistan and Afghanistan one village at a time.

Greg Mortenson dreamt of climbing Pakistan’s K2, the second highest peak in the world. He failed his mission but while he was recuperating from his failure in a small village called Khorphe, he saw a number of boys and girls sitting by themselves in a field studying, with no teacher, no classroom , no books. Just holding sticks and using them to write on the dusty ground. He was amazed how hungry they were to learn and how they had the energy and will to do it by themselves.

After seeing that he vowed to Khorphe’s wise leader Haji Ali that he is going to come back and build them a school no matter what it took.

This school was the first of over two hundred schools to come. Other than building schools his organization also is teaching refugees in camps, sponsoring and expanding already crumbling existing public schools and building women centers all over Pakistan and Afghanistan when the whole world turned their back on those poor people.

A man who fights the Taliban, poverty, ignorance , extremism and seeks peace through books not bombs.

This man deserves a Nobel Prize. He has so much drive! And to see an American Christian care for the poor Muslim boys and especially girls of Afghanistan and Pakistan more than any other person or organization EVER did wins him the utmost respect from me and all the people who have worked with him or have spoken to him.

A very inspiring book. A MUST MUST MUST read.

To read more about Greg and to see some amazing pictures visit his blog .

To donate and learn more about his organization visit www.ikat.org .

Currently Reading: The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil By Philip Zimbardo

A Poem for Palestine

Baby Martyr

I’m six and seven
And up to eleven,

Then I’m an adult
In an Israeli court

My hands tied in the back of my back
He comes to me with a punch and a sack.

He covers my head with a hood of Zionist stench
Though my belly is tough, it will not flinch.

The noise is loud and pierces my brain.
My pathetic shirt hangs proud with a fresh blood stain.

My poor mother is worried sick, I’m sure.
She burried my brother before me. She will endure.

And my dad too, depression got him in the end
With no home, no land, no olive trees to tend.

I’m in here for days on end
Or is it months or even years, I no longer comprehend.

The noise is too loud
And I can feel the shroud.

He beats me again today
Then its another’s turn to play.

I’m broken now, but I’ll not confess.
I’ll leave my body, let those murdering bastards clean up the mess.

A few more thoughts before I go
I am human. This you must know.
You’d never know it `cause I’m tough as the rocks I throw.

I had hoped to grow a mustache so fine.
Maybe marry Muna. I’d be hers and she’d be mine
Maybe be a father….our children free in Palestine.

                                                                                           by Susan Abulhawa

Blog About Palestine Day

 

About Coming Out of The Closet

Being Gay anywhere in the world is not easy but it is extra difficult in the middle east and other conservative/religious countries.

I always wonder, is it harder to be a Gay man than a Gay woman? Is it easier for the women because in some way it’s kind of a bit more acceptable and is actually a fantasy for some men?

But what I want to talk about is that every human being has maternal/paternal instincts that are really strong. In countries where homosexuality is not accepted and in some cases is illegal and punishable by law you find a lot of gay people who get married just to satisfy that instinct and also to appear “normal” in the eyes of the society and chose to live a secret double life where they get to have the happy family life and  have a gay partner on the side.

There are a lot of Gay men who do it because it’s easier than facing society and it’s not only restricted to the countries mentioned above ; the latest case that was all over the  media was the Governor of New York who was married and had kids and just recently came out of the closet and admitted that he was Gay which put an end to his political career.

I think it is hurtfuland damaging to the kids and spouse when they find out the truth. The spouse who thinks they have a perfect marriage just to find out their partner is gay, the kids who, depending on their age, might have trouble understanding the situation.

The issue though is that Gay people are doomed if they do and doomed if they don’t.

If they choose to come out of the closet then they are shunned by society in countries that have no legal rights for gay partners , no gay marriage or any adoption laws which means they will never even dream of having a child On the other hand if they do get married and have children they are living a lie and deceiving everybody around them ; their kids, their spouse , but most importantly themselves.

I think that both decisions are hard but being true to oneself and to the people around you is the most important thing no matter at what cost.

Is it the absolute death of freedom of speech and expression in Jordan?

The headline might imply that there was freedom of speech in Jordan to begin with.

There never was complete freedom and you would be in denial to think that you have/had freedom of speech.

Self censorship is so ingrained in us Jordanians that we don’t even notice it anymore.

 Take the Jordanian blogspehre as an example; there is a chronic case of self censorship where bloggers are not really voicing their full opinions about the government in fear of government retaliation, a prime example is the removal of Abu Shreeks blog from the biggest Jordanian aggregator.

Instead of being able to practice freedom of speech freely on blogs or online media outlets you see Jordanians only commenting anonymously as the only way to be heard and not be hurt.

So what can we do to be heard? What can we do to stop the government from going down a slippery slope that is only going to lead to more oppression and to even less freedom of speech? Why is the government so worried about self image abroad? If you do your job like you should in the first place then you need not worry.

Who will hold the government accountable if people continue to be silenced?

I think that the more people practice freedom of speech the harder it’s going to be for the government to silence them. If one person practiced freedom of speech it is easy to silence him/her, if more people did, it will become more and more difficult for the voices to be silenced.

Shutting up one hundred voices is not like Shutting up one.

Speak up, express yourself and point a wrong if you see one. Don’t stay silent and say, I don’t care, it does not affect me. IT DOES affect you, you improve your country if not for you maybe for your children and their children.

When some people speak up their minds and criticize the government you benefit.

The bottom line is even if they choose to monitor and eventually shut up some voices, it will lead to more angry voices that are not in the reach of the hands of the government.

It is truly a sad day.

_____________________________________________

Some qoutes In support of free speech

  • “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” Evelyn Beatrice Hall, writing as S. G. Tallentyre in 1906 (commonly attributed to Voltaire, of whom Hall wrote a biography).
  • “…if any opinion is compelled to silence, that opinion may, for aught we can certainly know, be true. To deny this is to assume our own infallibility.” John Stuart Mill, On Liberty (1859).
  • “In a free state, tongues too should be free.” Erasmus, The Education of a Christian Prince (1516).  
  • “If liberty means anything at all it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.” – George Orwell, Preface to Animal Farm (1946)
  • Goebbels was in favor of free speech for views he liked. So was Stalin. If you’re in favor of free speech, then you’re in favor of freedom of speech precisely for views you despise. Otherwise, you’re not in favor of free speech.” Noam Chomsky, Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media (1992).
  • “I have fought censorship all of my adult life. To me, the most precious of all rights in this marvelous country called the United States of America is the freedom to think, write and say whatever is on your mind… That freedom also extends to thoughts that are stupid, ignorant or incendiary. No one needs a First Amendment to write about how cute newborn babies are or to publish a recipe for strawberry shortcake. Nobody needs a First Amendment for innocuous or popular points of view. That’s point one. Point two is that the majority-you and I-must always protect the right of a minority-even a minority of one-to express the most outrageous and offensive ideas. Only then is total freedom of expression guaranteed.” Lyle Stuart in his introduction to The Turner Diaries
  • “The price of freedom of religion, or of speech, or of the press, is that we must put up with a good deal of rubbish.” Robert H. Jackson
  • “The principle of free thought is not free thought for those who agree with us but freedom for the thought we hate.” US Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes in United States v. Schwimmer (1929).
  • “He wrote something stupid, a bunch of words that say something we don’t agree with. It’s only words and ideas, it’s not like he beat someone up, he’s not committing violence or hurting people, he’s simply saying something offensive that we do not want to hear because we don’t like it. If we suppress ideas we don’t like, the proponents of those ideas will probably fester in secret societies and explode in double-plus ungood ways and we will like those results even less. If we allow people to see their ideas, and we ignore them, they’ve had their chance and they don’t have to feel cheated about not getting exposure. Or if we really don’t like their ideas and really need to keep them from convincing other people to believe in them, the answer is to tell people why and they’ll learn. But you can’t just beat people up because you dislike their stupid opinion. If we go that route, then anyone who is willing to use force can suppress any opinion they don’t like, and maybe support opinions we don’t like. Then what you get is a society of brutality where it isn’t the best ideas that are seen by others, it’s only the ideas that have the most vicious thugs to back them up. And it becomes very hard for people to be willing to express any opinion if someone can just pop them one because they say something someone else doesn’t like.” – Supervisor 246 in Paul Robinson’s Instrument of God.
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