Overheard While Fundraising

 

Little 7aki has a magazine sale fundraiser at her school. 7aki emailed all the friends and family to buy a magazine.

——————————————-

7aki: Buy a magazine or !!!!! LOL.

 Bob: I got the email last night. I promise to buy something – anything to help a high income school district generate even more money.

 7aki: You need to buy something today; it’s the deadline, so Little 7aki can get a useless gift. In true 7aki fashion I waited to send this in the last minute, little 7aki is not thrilled with me. I told her, I will take her to the dollar store and buy her that stupid eye that lights up.

 Bob: Seriously today or is this a sales pressure tactic? Do l have until midnight?

 7aki: You have until midnight.

 Bob: Why don’t you just buy $1000 worth of magazine…then gift them to everyone for birthdays and Christmas. Little 7aki gets her useless toy – and you don’t have to buy presents.

HAHAHAHA – take little 7aki to the dollar store. You are raising them right (in all seriousness)

 7aki: It’s so funny how kids want the stupidest things. If she sells one magazine she gets a wrist band, that is useless. If she sells three she gets both the wrist band and the eye that lights up, which is also useless. And if she sells 6 she gets all of the above and a water bottle.

So you have to sell 300 dollars’ worth of magazines to get useless gifts worth 5 dollars! LOL. SHOOT ME NOW.

 Bob: Tell me about it…we went to the open house and the school was selling stuff to raise money. I ended spending $10 – on a crappy school hat and a cheap ass band. Right now they are raising money through a dance-a-thon. It’s an endless pit.

 7aki: We have a dance-a-thon, a magazine sale, a school fair, a summer BBQ and hoola-hoop-a-thon PLUS the scholastic rape.

 Bob: HAHAHAHAHA – scholastic rape.

So true – every month. Actually it’s like scholastic PMS.

 7aki: HAHAHA scholastic PMS. SOOOO FUNNY!!!!

1 day later ….

 Bob: Okay – l checked out the prices.  It will be cheaper if l just buy little 7aki a Swarovski bead bracelet!

 7aki: AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Overheard on Mothers Day

I hear little feel patterning and soft little squeaky voices whispering. My bedroom door opens and then closes. I glance at the clock, it’s 6:30 AM. Yaaaaaaawn. not getting up.

Same happens at 6:45, 7:15, 7:30.

I hear little feet going down the stairs. Lots of clangy noises from the kitchen. I hear feet coming up the stairs.

Little 7aki while going up the stairs: Buddhaaaaaa, you’re spilling the juuuuuuice!

Little Buddha: But you filled the cup too muuuuuuuuuch.

Little 7aki: Buddhaaaaaa, stop spilling the juice!

Little Buddha: But, but, you’re walking too faaaaast. Slow dowwwwwwwwwn.

I hear my door opening. I see Little 7aki carrying a tray and little Buddha carrying a cup of juice.

Little 7aki and little Buddha: Happy motheeeers daaaaay.

7aki: Awwwwww, you girls made me breakfast in Bed??? You girls are soooo sweet!

Little 7aki: Yes, we made you a turkey sandwich with cheese and butter, Buddha helped me! We put lots of butter because it tastes good.

Little Buddha beaming: And I carried the juice for you!

7aki: I love you girls sooooooo much.

I turn to whisper to Baba 7aki: Do I have to eat a turkey sandwich this early???? Hehehe.

As I take two sips from my juice little Buddha says: Can I have a taste of your juice? (gulp gulp gulp… she drank it all)

As I take a bite out of my sandwich, little 7aki and Buddha say: Can we have a taste of your sandwich? (NOM NOM NOM… they ate it all)

I ended up with no sandwich… no juice … and breadcrumbs all over my bed. HAHAHAHAHA , soooo funny!

But I did end up with the fullest heart! It was the most thoughtful thing an eight and three year old can ever do.

I love my girls.

 

 

Just to Get Rid of the Picture, of the Finger, On the Home Page

Yeah, being at work and opening your blog and getting the finger, blog post below this one, is NOT a good idea,   HAHAHAHA.

So let me tell you how shitty it has been in the past few months:

- End of May baby Buddha had a very bad, and I am talking very bad respiratory distress emergency, asthma attack, at her daycare and she was barely breathing.

Daycare was HORRIBLE in handling the emergency; instead of calling 911 they waited for us to go pick her up and we are an hour drive away!  Luckily a relative lives close by and went to pick her up and as soon as she took one look at her she was shocked at her state. There is a clinic a hundred meters away and the stupid daycare sat there waiting for us to come save the day. The clinic saw her and called 911 immidiatly and she had to be taken to the hospital by an ambulance and I wasn’t there to go with her :( . Saying that the train ride home was the longest train ride IN MY LIFE is a understatement.

Some asthma medicine and oxygen fixed Buddha right up and she was fine but I was so stressed and crying the whole ride over.

So, due to the daycares complete and utter negligence we pulled her out that day and we didn’t look back.

They say bad things happen for good reasons and right now she is at the bestest daycare EVER. I am glad we moved her and I am so happy where she is right now. In a way her getting really sick allowed us to find her a much better place to thrive at.

Except it was real and much more less cute

- Not one month later, the FIRST day of summer vacation, little 7aki fell and fractured her arm, while we were at a beach resort none the less.

She had to have the cast on for four weeks. Nothing spells summer fun better than a broken arm!

She was a trooper though, the whole thing barely fazed her and she managed to have a fun summer.

Yup, it was her RIGHT arm that she uses for , you know, EVERYTHING

-  various colds and strep throats and eczema, yaaaaay, fun!

YAAAAAAAAY

- Then I cut my finger with a knife and had four stitches and also had the tetanus shot of death. My finger has not healed yet, yaaaaaay, fun!

I googled: Cut, finger, knife and ewwww the pictures were so gross. So I put a picture of a unicron.

Now that the summer of accidents is over and little 7aki is back to school I am looking forward to us having our boring old routine back.

That's me and my friends celebrating the end of the summer vacation.

YAY for back to school!!!!!

.

I Have EVIL in My House …

 

The DEVIL

… and it’s called Baby Alive Wet and Giggle.

The key word here is WET, she wets her diaper.

KILL ME NOW!!!

Little Buddha, who is almost 3, is OBSESSED with changing her diaper every 5 minutes, I am not exaggerating, we gave it to her , as an Eid present , on Tuesday at 9 and except for her 1.5 hour naps I , yes I, changed her diaper 1,038,754,572,384 times.

But see, this gift, although is evil, is a blessing in disguise; I am now SURE I do not want a third child.

Ahhhhh, that felt good LOL.

And the diapers are none reusable, WTF??? I now need to buy doll diapers???? Are you people on Crack??? So I am heading to the baby store in search of cloth diapers, for preemies, very green of me.

Sigh, what I do for my kids.

What Your Child Should Be Reading: Part 3

It’s been a while since I posted one of these so I think it’s a good time to do that.

My first recommendation today which is good for 3 – 8 year olds is:

1) The Little Miss and The Mr. Men pocket books

These book are a delight, they are enjoyed by both little 7aki who is 7 and little Buddha who is 2.5.

It all started when little 7aki received two of these books as a present;  Little Miss Sunshine who can’t stop being happy and Little Miss Whoops who goes to visit her brother Mr. Bump and the rest was history. Now whenever I get a chance I get 2 or 3 of them at the used book store.

They are cute short reads and they talk about how people are different. You can for sure find one that best describes your kids.

Mine are:

Little Miss Stuborn would be my beoved buddha. Seriuosly stubborn.

… and Little Miss Brave/Naughty would be little 7aki. There is no Little Miss Brave! Not cool.

My second recommendation that is good for 3 – 7 year olds is:

2) The Pout-Pout Fish.

This book is really adorable; it’s about this pout-pout fish that would not smile even when all his friends ask him to until … well you have to read it to find out what turns his frown upside down.

He goes around spreading his dreary-wearies all over the place. Little 7aki loves to read this part.

And he goes blubing all over imaginable surfaces. This is little buddhas favorite; she traces the bluuuuub with her finger while she says it.

Good book, very clever rhyming, my kids love it.

And that’s it for today. Hopefully I won’t take this long for my next kids review.

_______________________________________________________________

For more of my kids reviews:

Part 1

Part 2

And for more other books go here

 

Little 7aki: A Philosophical Question

There are under water statues in cancoon! Google it, so amazing.

I took the girls swimming this weekend. Little 7aki was drying herself after we got out of the water.

Little 7aki: Mama?

7aki: Yes.

Little 7aki: Are we wet when we are underwater?

7aki: haaaaa?

Little 7aki: I mean, when we come out of the water we are wet; but are we wet under water? I don’t think we are wet underwater.

7aki: Hmmmmm.

Little 7aki: Yeah, we are not wet because we are (while motioning all around her body with her hands)  surrounded by water but are not wet. But when you get out of the water you get wet!

7aki: Ah.. um … hmmmmm, that’s really interesting!

________________________________________

If a tree falls and no one hears it; did the tree really fall?

I am amazed that little 7aki was even thinking of this question and I had no clue what the answer was! So I went to my best friend google and  googled  it  and  you  would not believe how many ADULT people are asking this question.

The funniest answers I read:

holy shizzzcake i never thought of it that way.
dudeee!!
your like a genius O_o

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That one really made me laugh out loud!

Yes you are wet…*bangs head on wall*…what drugs are you on? Can I have some?

Can I have some too?

WTF? are you stupid or something?

But IS the poster stupid?

Philosophically I would say , depends, the answer could be a yes or a no I quote one of the answers:

Wetness is only felt when there is an outer state of dryness to distinguish the presence of liquid on oneself.

You can’t distinguish dryness from wetness underwater not because the state of wetness does not exist but because the state of dryness does not exist. Take an analogy of the state of dreaming, when you are in a deep dream you sometimes can’t distinguish it from reality. That does not mean you are not dreaming. Similarly just because when you are underwater and the sensation is not the same when you get out of the water does not mean you were not wet underwater.

But scientifically I have no clue!

What do YOU think?

 

Overheard In the Bathroom. Potty Language Advisory

Buddha has been recently, VERY recently, potty trained; she’s been clean for 4 weeks now, I really need to share the experience with you, I am still MORTIFIED at how long it took her to grasp the concept,  maybe a post for some other time.

Due to her newly acquired skills, she is very excited to go to the bathroom, ESPECIALLY a public bathroom, can you please say EWWWWW?????

Yesterday we were invited to a kid friendly wedding, so we took the girls with, and in the span of three hours, no word of a lie,  Buddha asked to go to the bathroom about TWELVE times!!! WTF???

It might be  the foamy soap dispensers that lure her; our house does not provide already foamy soap, you have to actually RUB YOUR HANDS to make it foam. I can already tell that Buddha is high maintenance.

Or is it this Dyson hand dryer? OK guys this thing is OUT OF THIS WORLD!!! I am not even kidding you, I am positive this thing can launch a rocket that’s how powerful the air blast is. Buddha loves this thing! To be totally honest I love it too, hehehehe, it’s just so much FUN.  It’s like going to a bathroom theme park!!!!

But I digress; at her maybe 8th trip she flipped out because I flushed the toilet, HAHAHAHA, OMG it was so funny! I was in the stall with her and this is what happened:

7aki flushes the toilet. The toilet did not flush fully, toilet paper still in the toilet.

Buddha: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I FLUSH THE TOILET!

7aki: No no I did not flush; see there is still toilet paper.

Buddha: NOOOOOOOO, you flushed!

7aki: No no I swear LOOK, there is STILL toilet paper.

Buddha: NOOOOOO, you flush my pee! YOU FLUSH MY PEE!!!!

7aki now hears people outside the stall laughing, now I laugh myself; this is just so funny!

Is this what kids reduced us to??? Flush negotiators?

Now while I was resolving the flushing of the pee issue I hear someone peeing in the next stall and I kid you not people it sounded like someone was dumping a bucket of water in the toilet, HAHAHAHAA,  and it was just soooo loud, now little 7aki was in the next stall over and this is what happened:

little 7aki: WHAT IS THAT SOUND???

Now I am muffling my laugh because OMG what IS THAT sound?

Little 7aki: MAMA, WHAT IS THAT SOUND!

I mean little 7aki was loud. SUPER loud. I start giggling , I mean the pee sound is not only loud but this lady is still PEEING, it took her like 5 hours to finish. Maybe if I go there today I will still find her there emptying her bucket!

Little 7aki: WEIRD.

7aki (no longer able to contain myself): HAHAHAHAHAHA.

And this concludes me totally over-sharing today.

 

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