Overheard on Mothers Day

I hear little feel patterning and soft little squeaky voices whispering. My bedroom door opens and then closes. I glance at the clock, it’s 6:30 AM. Yaaaaaaawn. not getting up.

Same happens at 6:45, 7:15, 7:30.

I hear little feet going down the stairs. Lots of clangy noises from the kitchen. I hear feet coming up the stairs.

Little 7aki while going up the stairs: Buddhaaaaaa, you’re spilling the juuuuuuice!

Little Buddha: But you filled the cup too muuuuuuuuuch.

Little 7aki: Buddhaaaaaa, stop spilling the juice!

Little Buddha: But, but, you’re walking too faaaaast. Slow dowwwwwwwwwn.

I hear my door opening. I see Little 7aki carrying a tray and little Buddha carrying a cup of juice.

Little 7aki and little Buddha: Happy motheeeers daaaaay.

7aki: Awwwwww, you girls made me breakfast in Bed??? You girls are soooo sweet!

Little 7aki: Yes, we made you a turkey sandwich with cheese and butter, Buddha helped me! We put lots of butter because it tastes good.

Little Buddha beaming: And I carried the juice for you!

7aki: I love you girls sooooooo much.

I turn to whisper to Baba 7aki: Do I have to eat a turkey sandwich this early???? Hehehe.

As I take two sips from my juice little Buddha says: Can I have a taste of your juice? (gulp gulp gulp… she drank it all)

As I take a bite out of my sandwich, little 7aki and Buddha say: Can we have a taste of your sandwich? (NOM NOM NOM… they ate it all)

I ended up with no sandwich… no juice … and breadcrumbs all over my bed. HAHAHAHAHA , soooo funny!

But I did end up with the fullest heart! It was the most thoughtful thing an eight and three year old can ever do.

I love my girls.

 

 

Just to Get Rid of the Picture, of the Finger, On the Home Page

Yeah, being at work and opening your blog and getting the finger, blog post below this one, is NOT a good idea,   HAHAHAHA.

So let me tell you how shitty it has been in the past few months:

- End of May baby Buddha had a very bad, and I am talking very bad respiratory distress emergency, asthma attack, at her daycare and she was barely breathing.

Daycare was HORRIBLE in handling the emergency; instead of calling 911 they waited for us to go pick her up and we are an hour drive away!  Luckily a relative lives close by and went to pick her up and as soon as she took one look at her she was shocked at her state. There is a clinic a hundred meters away and the stupid daycare sat there waiting for us to come save the day. The clinic saw her and called 911 immidiatly and she had to be taken to the hospital by an ambulance and I wasn’t there to go with her :( . Saying that the train ride home was the longest train ride IN MY LIFE is a understatement.

Some asthma medicine and oxygen fixed Buddha right up and she was fine but I was so stressed and crying the whole ride over.

So, due to the daycares complete and utter negligence we pulled her out that day and we didn’t look back.

They say bad things happen for good reasons and right now she is at the bestest daycare EVER. I am glad we moved her and I am so happy where she is right now. In a way her getting really sick allowed us to find her a much better place to thrive at.

Except it was real and much more less cute

- Not one month later, the FIRST day of summer vacation, little 7aki fell and fractured her arm, while we were at a beach resort none the less.

She had to have the cast on for four weeks. Nothing spells summer fun better than a broken arm!

She was a trooper though, the whole thing barely fazed her and she managed to have a fun summer.

Yup, it was her RIGHT arm that she uses for , you know, EVERYTHING

-  various colds and strep throats and eczema, yaaaaay, fun!

YAAAAAAAAY

- Then I cut my finger with a knife and had four stitches and also had the tetanus shot of death. My finger has not healed yet, yaaaaaay, fun!

I googled: Cut, finger, knife and ewwww the pictures were so gross. So I put a picture of a unicron.

Now that the summer of accidents is over and little 7aki is back to school I am looking forward to us having our boring old routine back.

That's me and my friends celebrating the end of the summer vacation.

YAY for back to school!!!!!

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I Have EVIL in My House …

 

The DEVIL

… and it’s called Baby Alive Wet and Giggle.

The key word here is WET, she wets her diaper.

KILL ME NOW!!!

Little Buddha, who is almost 3, is OBSESSED with changing her diaper every 5 minutes, I am not exaggerating, we gave it to her , as an Eid present , on Tuesday at 9 and except for her 1.5 hour naps I , yes I, changed her diaper 1,038,754,572,384 times.

But see, this gift, although is evil, is a blessing in disguise; I am now SURE I do not want a third child.

Ahhhhh, that felt good LOL.

And the diapers are none reusable, WTF??? I now need to buy doll diapers???? Are you people on Crack??? So I am heading to the baby store in search of cloth diapers, for preemies, very green of me.

Sigh, what I do for my kids.

Ho’ing

Little Buddha: What’s that noise? Is someone ho’ing outside.

7aki (double take) : What was that? whose doing what?

Little Buddha: I hear baba ho’ing outside.

7aki: 8O ? what?

little Buddha: He is ho’ing the lawn.

7aki: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You mean MOWING the lawn?

little Buddha: Yeah, ho’ing the lawn.

7aki to Baba 7aki through the window: Hey, baba 7aki, will ya take a break from ho’ing please! HAHAHAHAHA.

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Happy Eid my loyal readers. And please it’s Eid! You should stop ho’ing the lawn and take a break and go out and have some fun.

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Also in other exciting news, you can now comment on the blog using your twitter handle or your facebook profile! thanks to the gorgeous people of WordPress :D .

What Your Child Should Be Reading: Part 3

It’s been a while since I posted one of these so I think it’s a good time to do that.

My first recommendation today which is good for 3 – 8 year olds is:

1) The Little Miss and The Mr. Men pocket books

These book are a delight, they are enjoyed by both little 7aki who is 7 and little Buddha who is 2.5.

It all started when little 7aki received two of these books as a present;  Little Miss Sunshine who can’t stop being happy and Little Miss Whoops who goes to visit her brother Mr. Bump and the rest was history. Now whenever I get a chance I get 2 or 3 of them at the used book store.

They are cute short reads and they talk about how people are different. You can for sure find one that best describes your kids.

Mine are:

Little Miss Stuborn would be my beoved buddha. Seriuosly stubborn.

… and Little Miss Brave/Naughty would be little 7aki. There is no Little Miss Brave! Not cool.

My second recommendation that is good for 3 – 7 year olds is:

2) The Pout-Pout Fish.

This book is really adorable; it’s about this pout-pout fish that would not smile even when all his friends ask him to until … well you have to read it to find out what turns his frown upside down.

He goes around spreading his dreary-wearies all over the place. Little 7aki loves to read this part.

And he goes blubing all over imaginable surfaces. This is little buddhas favorite; she traces the bluuuuub with her finger while she says it.

Good book, very clever rhyming, my kids love it.

And that’s it for today. Hopefully I won’t take this long for my next kids review.

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For more of my kids reviews:

Part 1

Part 2

And for more other books go here

 

Overheard In the Bathroom. Potty Language Advisory

Buddha has been recently, VERY recently, potty trained; she’s been clean for 4 weeks now, I really need to share the experience with you, I am still MORTIFIED at how long it took her to grasp the concept,  maybe a post for some other time.

Due to her newly acquired skills, she is very excited to go to the bathroom, ESPECIALLY a public bathroom, can you please say EWWWWW?????

Yesterday we were invited to a kid friendly wedding, so we took the girls with, and in the span of three hours, no word of a lie,  Buddha asked to go to the bathroom about TWELVE times!!! WTF???

It might be  the foamy soap dispensers that lure her; our house does not provide already foamy soap, you have to actually RUB YOUR HANDS to make it foam. I can already tell that Buddha is high maintenance.

Or is it this Dyson hand dryer? OK guys this thing is OUT OF THIS WORLD!!! I am not even kidding you, I am positive this thing can launch a rocket that’s how powerful the air blast is. Buddha loves this thing! To be totally honest I love it too, hehehehe, it’s just so much FUN.  It’s like going to a bathroom theme park!!!!

But I digress; at her maybe 8th trip she flipped out because I flushed the toilet, HAHAHAHA, OMG it was so funny! I was in the stall with her and this is what happened:

7aki flushes the toilet. The toilet did not flush fully, toilet paper still in the toilet.

Buddha: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I FLUSH THE TOILET!

7aki: No no I did not flush; see there is still toilet paper.

Buddha: NOOOOOOOO, you flushed!

7aki: No no I swear LOOK, there is STILL toilet paper.

Buddha: NOOOOOO, you flush my pee! YOU FLUSH MY PEE!!!!

7aki now hears people outside the stall laughing, now I laugh myself; this is just so funny!

Is this what kids reduced us to??? Flush negotiators?

Now while I was resolving the flushing of the pee issue I hear someone peeing in the next stall and I kid you not people it sounded like someone was dumping a bucket of water in the toilet, HAHAHAHAA,  and it was just soooo loud, now little 7aki was in the next stall over and this is what happened:

little 7aki: WHAT IS THAT SOUND???

Now I am muffling my laugh because OMG what IS THAT sound?

Little 7aki: MAMA, WHAT IS THAT SOUND!

I mean little 7aki was loud. SUPER loud. I start giggling , I mean the pee sound is not only loud but this lady is still PEEING, it took her like 5 hours to finish. Maybe if I go there today I will still find her there emptying her bucket!

Little 7aki: WEIRD.

7aki (no longer able to contain myself): HAHAHAHAHAHA.

And this concludes me totally over-sharing today.

 

Rub My Belly Mama, Mama, Rub My Belly

My little Buddha who calls her belly boody. She is sooooo funny.

She says:

Mama, talk to me, talk to me mama, mama, talk to me …. so … I have an idea , lets color.

That is just soooooooo funny, “talk to me” in her world means “listen” and I think it is just the funniest thing EVER.

She also says: Mama, MAMA , I tellllll youuuuuuu, SIT DOWN. (yes the caps are her speaking to me sternly , LOL)

She just turned two and a half years old a couple days ago and she is blossoming more and more and has her own personality.

My little Buddha copies and says everything little 7aki says. Little 7aki says, mama, I don’t like this it’s gross, and then I hear an echo , mama, it’s goss, goss mama.

Hahahaha.

Oh, and another thing, Buddha blames everything on little 7aki:

7aki: Who spilled the milk?

Buddha: Little 7aki

7aki: Who turned off the TV?

Buddha: Little 7aki

7aki: Who did poopy in the diaper?

Buddha: Little 7aki.

7aki: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Then she sits in the back seat in the car and when I get out to unbuckle her she has her eyes closed and a tiiiiiny smile on her face.

I say: Buddaaaaah.

Little Buddha: I sleeping mama, I sleeping.

God I want to ef3asha.

And little 7aki, will be seven in May, SEVEN, when did this HAPPEN???? I love her so much my little monkey she is such a mothering big sister and she worships the ground little Buddha walks on; she takes a lot of abuse from her little sister but is always calm and loving towards her.

She now thinks princess are lame and totally babyish. Well, she didn’t really have a lot of interest in princesses before but now will NOT BE SEEN DEAD even close or TOUCHING anything that has a princess print on it. What can I say, like mother like daughter; while I was such a tom boy growing up, no seriously, you don’t want to see the pictures; she is actually interested in jewelery, hair, perfume and makeup and OH MY GOD is obsessed with shoes.

So she has a perfect balance she is a fierce tom boyish girly girl who would have skinned knees and lip gloss.

Fa3es those two.

Gotta love girls.

And that concludes my quarterly post of the year.

Over and out.

 

Rugsplosion?

So remember when I told you that Armageddon hit the 7aki household and everything turned into hell?

One of the things that happened was that the washing machine broke down and to continue a tradition of eggsplosion 1 and eggsplosion 2 baba 7aki decided to branch out a little into: Rugsplosion.

It was one beautiful cool summer night and Buddha might have, could have ,maybe, ate a little bit too much before going to bed because see, life to Buddha is a never-ending buffet; if there is food and she sees it, she is going to eat it.

So as we are putting her down in her crib to sleep we see the telltale signs of ” OMG RUN TO THE HILLS THE BABY IS GOING TO PUKE” she starts in the crib, we take her out and she continues to hurl on the bedroom carpet, maybe a little bit on the wall and finally on one of those really cute little circular Green Ikea rugs that have paw prints on them, awwwww.

Can't belive I found a picture of it online! It's like 6 years old. Paw prints, awwww

So this is the drill at the 7aki house hold if  Buddha or little 7aki pukes, I clean up the kid, bathe, change clothes and put them to sleep and baba 7aki cleans up … well…. everything else.

I just can’t do the cleaning, I would throw up right then and there, and instead of cleaning the baby’s vomit I have to clean up mine too.

Also I have to say Baba 7aki has built a system and he’s very efficient at it ( I don’t know why I giggle while I type this)  baba 7aki treats vomit cleaning very seriously, VERY SERIOUSLY.

Anyhoo, unbeknownst to me, baba 7aki dumps ALL the vomitty stuff in the washing machine INCLUDING that very cute, green, harmless rug, with the paw prints remember? awwwwww.

And then it explodes in the washing machine, all that is left of it is the mesh that holds the thread on the bottom. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Now baba 7aki doesn’t confess to his crime and he removes the remains of the rug from the washing machine, mind you, not ALL the remains. Then he mentions it in passing, like nothing was wrong about what he did,  that, oh , by the way, there was a rugspolsion in the washing machine.

I GAPE AT HIM, wanted to yell WHAT????? Who in their RIGHT MIND WOULD PUT A RUG IN the WASHING MACHINE??? Instead I made fun of him, hahahaha.

Anyhoo, 2 days later I run a load of laundry and SURPRISE the washer doesn’t work .

Guess what he does? He blames me for breaking it down!!!! Why? Because I didn’t remove ALL the green remains from the machine. There was none by the way.

Men.

I Should have yelled at him when the rugsplosion happened

PS: We had a guy come in and unclog the green stuff from the wahser and we made fun of baba 7aki, teaches him to blame me for breaking the washer.

The Story of The MOFO BIB-BIB

MOFO BIB - BIB

Alright, so as I mentioned in my previous post, little Buddha is a liiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit diva-isk, she wants what she wants and she wants it NOOOOOOOWWWW.

It all started when we were on a mini two day vacation to a beach resort . And as you all know on a beach there must be sand, and because there was sand little 7aki had flip flops (we call them shib shib in Arabic)  with her, and guess who got attached to flip-flops? You guessed it, little buhdda, so she would fight with her sister all the time for them so I went and got her a pair and sure enough buddha took to them like white on rice. She would not take them off for anything. Wore them to the beach, on the deck, in the house, and if I would have let her she would have worn them IN BED.

Now, little buddha was only 22 months old and as we all know wearing flip flops takes some skill if you are a beginner, I mean you need to keep your toes pressed tight around the front piece thingy to keep them on; so suffice it to say although Buddha loved them so much she kept WHINING ABOUT HOW SHE CAN”T KEEP THEM ON.

She loved them so much she refused to wear ANYTHING else on her feet. I am talking try to put sandals on and you have a half hour battle ahead if you before you even get out the door. Every time we wanted to go out  she would start yelling. BIIIIIIIB BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIB , BIIIIIIIB BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIB .

So now picture  her bib bib s slipping off her feet EVERY FIVE EFFING MINUTES and I have to fix them because OMG her flip flops slipped off her feet, BIIIIIIB BIIIIIIIIIIIB, it must be a catastrophe. Lets all run to little buddha and fix her flip-flops because the world would end as we know it if we don’t help her.

After 2 days of EVERY WAKING MINUTE OF MY LIFE of her bib – bib slipping off I SNAPPED because they would slip off her feet and she would come to me to fix them with her most perfected whiny whimperish cry, that buddha is a pro, A PRO I TELL YA, if she entered a whiny-ness (is that a word?) competition she would win.

I snapped and I said mother effing flip flops. And people this is a momentous occasion, I NEVER swear in front of my kids EVER.

Baba 7aki was standing there , he looked at me, I looked at him,and then we were both on the floor laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation. I mean we are not talking Middle East peace here people, we are talking about keeping flip flops on a 22 month olds feet. FLIP FLOPS!!!!!

So now if baba 7aki and I find ourselves in a frustrating situation that we can’t help or control all we have to say to each other is MOFO bib-bib and we would be heaps on the floor laughing.

Luckily for little Buddha, and I mean luckily for her OWN WELL BEING, she perfected wearing the cursed bib bib.

Although I joke about this right now but I am telling you people flip-flops traumatize me to this day.

I AM TRAUMATIZED.

Work, Red Shoes And Stuff.

Man it feels I have not blogged for ages. Well I did not blog for ages.

I have been really busy at work, no time to screw around  busy.

Oh, and in case you didn’t know I have 2 kids now. And nobody told me that having 2 kids is like having NO LIFE. I am telling you, one kid is a piece of cake add number 2 and all of a sudden there is no time for ANYTHING that has to do with YOU aka the Mom.

And I am already getting pressure from the family to have number 3, you know what people SHUT UP about number 3. I think I am DONE….maybe? darn it, you see, those little buggers are so cute and cuddly and …and … Buddha bellied…. CUTE….until they puke all over the bed, and the floor and the wall.Actually, after second thought, I think I’m done.

An update about ma familia:

Little 7aki is 6 now, wow, she’s a big girl, she’s kooky and crazy but in a good way, she likes to run with no inhibition, she would choose the black bike that has flames on it instead of the purple bike with streamers, fearless and brave.

She is pretty much kind of sort of self reliant now. And so fun to go out with to shop and chill where I don’t have to run after her and say stop and no and stuff. She likes to watch wipe out and also , YES I ADMIT IT, Americas funniest  home videos. What? It’s funny OK :P. It’s just when she giggles I want to bottle it up forever.

Little Buddha on the other hand, OH MY GOD If she didn’t look so much like me, I am serious our baby photos are identical , I would have thought she got switched at the hospital! She is so different from her sister, how can I word this very nicely, WHINY. hehe.

She whines AAAAALLLLLLLL THHHHHHHEEEEEE TIIMEEEEEEEE. For example, if she wants to eat she would say, kinda wimperish and cryish: mommy, fooooooood, NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. She really and honestly says now. She tells me, mama, haaaaaaaaalp me, LOL. I swear help with an A, Haaaaaaaalpme , kinda connected in one word, I want to tape it because it is sooooo funny! She speaks in a Khallili English dialect, HAHAHAHAHAHA.

She’s a Diva too, OMG try and change her clothes when she doesn’t want to;  hell would break loose, I mean , heap on the floor, kicking legs, screaming, and saying, off,off, NOWWWWWWWW.

She likes to carry this little purse around and she’s ALWAYS wearing my high heeled shoes around the house, no word of a lie, always click clacking on the hardwood floor.

And oh, she’s only 23 months!!!! WHAT???? This is supposed to be happening like when she like turns like THIRTEEN!!!!! …Like.

Little 7aki on the other hand would just say OK to whatever, wear this, eat that , don’t do this or that, so easy going,  until she goes outside and terrorizes ALL the kids on the street  seriously, no one messes with little 7aki.

Little Buddha is loved  by all because she is such a lamb, OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE!!!!! She is the boss of baba 7aki that one. And her Grandfathers favorite too, their bond is so beautiful and precious, brings joy to my heart every time I see it.

My girls; little 7aki who has the heart of an angel, so loving and caring and would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. And my little Buddha who lights up my life with her spunk and that sparkle in her eyes.

Although you two wear me out I would give anything to you….unless it’s my new red shoes, Buddha , I know you are only 23 months old but you better lay your hands off of those or I’m coming after you.

If I Win A Million Dollars

Me: What would you buy if you win a Million Dollars?

Little 7aki: I would buy a Unicorn.

Me: HAHAHAHA. OK what would your taita (Grandma) buy?

Little 7aki: She would buy a big giant cook book made out of gold.

Me: Alright, what do you think little Buddha (AKA baby 7aki) would like to buy?

Little 7aki: She would buy a big giant doll that looked like me so she can bug her all day. She really like to bug me a lot mama.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. What about me? What do you think I would buy?

Little 7aki: you would buy a big hammock and lots of books and you would sit in it and read aaaaaaallllllllllllllllll thhhhhheeeeeeeeee ttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime.

Me: That’s actually not a bad idea, I would maybe buy a bookstore. Alright, what about baba 7aki? What do you think he’ll buy?

Little 7aki: He would buy a big giant TV and sit on the couch and watch all day and night and never get up.

Me: MWAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

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You think kids don’t observe what you do all day? They sure do!

Lets analyze the answers:

Little 7aki: A unicorn? Like really? My cutie little munchkin pie wants a unicorn. I wouldn’t mind one too actually!

Taita: Obsessed with cook books. She sits there and COPIES recipes that she never cooks. TOO FUNNY!

Buddha: She does really follow her sister everywhere and maybe, MAYBE, bug her all the time. For example, little 7aki would stand at the sink brushing her teeth and Buddha would come and tell her sister  to “moozee” out-of-the-way which means “excuse me”  and if little 7aki does not “moozee” Buddha would either A) freak out or B) push her sister because hellooooooooo, she said “moozee ” and why isn’t this other kid moving already?

At least she is polite, I have to give her that. She also says “peaze” and “tattu” .

Me: Phew I was worried she was going to say a computer  or something worse but a book and a hammock? I’ll take it ANY DAY OVER…… Baba 7aki’s TV and couch, LOOOOOL.

Baba 7aki and little 7aki fight all the time over .. you guessed it, the TV. It’s like I have 3 kids I swear.

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What would YOU buy of you win a million dollars? And if you have kids ask them what they think you would want to buy, this was really fun! A good insight to how your kids see you.

Yallah tell me in the comments.

Or better still blog it and link here :D

My Little Buddha

I sent Bob a picture of peanut, who by the way I am calling little  Buddha from now on because, seriously, she has a Buddha belly that Buddha would be jealous of, JEALOUS I tell ya. So peanut calls her belly boody because she can’t say Buddha.  Fa3eeeeeeees.

OK, end of tangent 1.

This is the exchange that went between Bob and I after he saw my little Buddha’s picture.

Bob: OMGZ….very cutez….totally baby Baba 7akiz.
I can’t believe you gave birth to little Buddha.
It is little Buddha?

Tangent 2 : Bob and I append a Z after everything now, it is soooooooooooo funny. Seriously immature and lame but for some reason it amuses us to no end and CRACKS ME UP. Try is sometime.

7aki: Yes, it is little Buddha.
According to my Mom she is my twin

Bob: Really? I don’t see it..I see 100% Baba 7aki.
Your moms in denial.

7aki: You know how it is, the grandparents try to always claim that it’s THEIR genes that have been passed on not the ENEMY’S genes.

Unless the kid is ugly or there’s something wrong with them, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Bob: Too funny…I have to tell this to my parents.

And this concludes today’s session of 7aki Fadi

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