Touché

7aki: Life is a bitch.

Bob: Life wouldn’t be such a bitch if you come up here for lunch. (Up here is really far from where 7aki works)

7aki: How about we meet half way? Name that song.

Bob: Black eyed peas.

Uptown girl you’re So far away so we’ll Meet you in the middle (name those songs)!

When can you make it?

Monday Monday
Ruby Tuesday
Wednesday (couldn’t think of a song)
Thursday (couldn’t think of a song)
Freaky Friday

Can you tell I’m bored.

7aki: Billy Joel and Tyler Kyte?

Lisa Loeb – Tails – Waiting for Wednesday
Lotus – Beautiful Day – Six Weeks Till Wednesday
Jimmy Eat World – Jimmy Eat World – Wednesday
Tori Amos – Scarlet’s Walk – Wednesday

David Bowie – Hours – Thursday’s Child
Rollins Band – Come In And Burn – Thursday Afternoon

Also

Sunday Bloody Sunday
Come Monday
Tuesdays Gone
Friday I’m in Love
Saturday Nights All Right for Fighting

What about the new Friday Firday song? So popular, and the singer is a sister of yours :p

I am more bored than you man.

Bob: LOL – I don’t think Friday Friday girl is a sister – I think she is Latino
I think l’m bored more. I am bored about being bored.

7aki: I am so bored of listening to you say how you are bored about being bored. LOL

Bob: You win.
Now I’m officially bored to death.

7aki: Well I died of boredom and was brought back to life; that experience was boring.

Bob: I listened to one of Stan’s (name changed to protect the innocent) stories recapping an episode from old British sci-fi series that no one in north America has heard of.

7aki: I heard you talking about listening to one of Stan’s stories recapping an episode from old British sci-fi series that no one in north America has heard of and that bored me even more

Bob: You win again. But l’m too bored to care.

7aki: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Touché

I am so bored I looked up the word in Wiki

 

Ploopy… Pass It On

OH EM GEE it’s May already!

How does time fly like that?

Why has 7aki not been blogging a lot? It’s because life has been bitch slapping 7aki, that’s why.

And 7aki feels that she is bored too and in a totally UN-funny mood for the past 6 months.

So what has been happening?

Kids, work, life.

Also.

7aki turned 35 in March THAT’S WHAT.

7aki blames it all on turning 35. YIKES.

Why am I talking in the third person? LOL.

I am now closer to 40 than I was to 30 and this just sucks ASS. It really does.

I don’t care that 40 is the new 30 blah blah blah I feel different. I feel , what’s the right word here … ploopy … a word I read in one of Little 7aki’s books (name that book), I have no clue what it means but it kind of expresses how I feel.

I feel ploopy.

On another note, do you know the game pass it on? (in Arabic: iltilephone ilkharban) little 7aki comes to me while we are sitting in a group and whispers in my ear: “Ploopy, pass it on” and it CRACKS ME UP EVERY TIME. We now do it with all sorts of things, if she wants to say something she does not want people to hear she whispers it in my ear, says pass it on, and giggles and after that I am a heap on the floor laughing.

It all started with Shaboobs, pass it on, which is another story for another time.

Shaboobs? AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA. So funny. I write it here because I want to remember it when little 7aki is older. It’s a story about The bachelor, a girl called Chantal and her big assets. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Google it.

 

Guy Who Draws on The Elivator Door With His Nose Grease.

It’s hard for me to find anything on the internet that makes me laugh , but this!!!!!!  AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Source

 

kanyelicious

kanyelicios

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

kanyelicious your own site here

A Mystery That Will Never Be Solved

This mystery has been plaguing me since I got married.

Well you see, before I got married I never did any laundry so I didn’t even know that this problem existed.

The mystery of the disappearing socks.

Seriously. When I collect the laundry MYSELF and wash it MYSELF and then dry it MYSELF  why is there always at least one orphan sock that does not have a brother (or a sister)?

Where do those socks go? Seriously people, WHERE?

The only theory I can think of is that there is a sock black hole in the washer or dryer that sucks the socks into a different dimension, and that black hole takes the socks to these peoples washing machines where these people are wondering :” Where the heck did this sock come from?”.

You know what would be nice? If these people only had one  foot because they would appreciate the mystery sock. If they had two feet then they would be like, WTF, why did I get this one stupid sock.

Despite this conundrum I always hold out hope of reuniting those orphans with their siblings and that’s why I established a sock orphanage where all those lonely mate-less socks reside in the hope of them being some day reunited with their siblings.

But the sad truth is that based on very reliable statistics the probability of those socks being reunited with their siblings is slim to none.

Why? Some Pointless Questions

1) When we store eggs why do we have to put the pointy side down?

2) How are diapers made? And what’s that super absorbent gel?

3) Why does baby breath smell soooo good? I swear it smells like vanilla or like sweetness and yummyness. I think we should bottle that smell, it could make any woman swoon. I think it’s the baby’s gums that add to the OMGodness, OMG the gums are soooooooooooooooooooooooooo awesome!!!!!! I love the gums, I can’t say enough about how much I LOVE THE TOOTHLESS GUMS. So help me God.

4) Why do I torture myself and stay up late after the kids go to sleep at night and suffer in the morning? I HATE ME …. sometimes.

5) Why are you reading this post?

6) Why is the sky blue? I always forget this piece of information, no matter how many times I look it up, I forget.

7) Why do bloggers say goodbye and say I am done with blogging forever and blah blah and then they come back? These people bore me, I mean, if you want to stop blogging you just do that, you stop. Like Hani, he just stopped, Hani, we miss you come back

8 ) Will I ever be able to live in an Arab country again? Especially Jordan?

9) Seriously. Why are you reading this post?

10) Why do I want to have another baby when my baby is only five months old? Peoples, I have the “I want to have a baby” fever and I HAVE A BABY already!!!! Maybe I’m a quintuplet Mom in the making?
But peanut is sooooooooo good peoples, and did I tell you her breath smells sweet and delicious?

11) Who is the MOFO who said women have to remove the hair on their bodies? Who started this MOFO trend? Well, if you find that person AKA MOFO tell them I said EF YOU, MOFO!!!!

12) Why do people, when they travel to a different country, go shopping although the place they live has the exact same stuff? It’s like vacation makes the money you have seem like monopoly money. So, why?

13) Why are we on this earth?
I think we are on this earth to smell babies sweet breath. Cos peoples, I tell you, it’s worth it. I am going to start a new religion. I’ll call it BSB HAHAHAHA

14) Is funk dead?

15) What is funk?

16) How do they sell liquid milk that is not refrigerated? How is it made? Does is scare you that it does not spoil outside of the fridge? Is it made of alien milk?

17) Why is cabin fever called cabin fever?

18) Why?

What’s Your Word?


Your Word is “Fearless”


You see life as your one chance to experience everything, and you just go for it!
You believe the biggest risk is being afraid and missing out on something amazing.

Sometimes your fearlessness means you’re daring. You enjoy risky activities.
And sometimes your fearlessness means you’re courageous. You’re brave enough to do the right thing, even when it’s scary.

Captain Buzzing Warrior

If I was a Super Hero this is what I would be.

myhero

This is LOTS of fun. Click here to create your own  and tell me about it so I can check it out :D .

Found out about it at Dave’s ( He has an awesome blog by the way)

7aki Fadi has Tagged 7aki Fadi: The Bag Tag

bagmod

Click to Enlarge

This is an old old tag that I tagged myself with, yeah, it seems that tags are kind of dead. But I am soooooooo bored that I decided to do this tag after seeing it at Roba’s and Hal’s blogs sooo long ago I can’t even find them to link them.

So here goes:

1) My Wallet that is sooo stuffed to the point the clasp broke, but I looooove it and I don’t want to get another one. But I have to :( .

2) Lip gloss and lipstick, let me see, 1,2,3,4,5,6. Why would anybody need 6????

3) Body Butter from “The Body Shop”. OMG this makes my skin soooooooo smooooooooth, I really looooooove it. Ladies (and gents) If you have never experienced body butter, my soul cries for you.

4) Sample perfumes I got when I bought some perfumes (I am a confessed perfume whore). I use them if I forget to put perfume before I leave home or if I want to bribe little 7aki. She loves perfume too. Like mother like daughter.

5) The book ” God is not great: How religion poisons everything” . Pretty interesting book, I’m reading it slower than I would like and I am liking it so far, very interesting. Check out this interview with the author (warning, may offend some people)

6) My IPod and it’s stuff.

7) The phone.

8 ) My cheque book. I use it a lot.

9) Three pens and a pencil. OK so the Daisy Duck one is a present from William. I LOVE IT so I keep it in my purse. The other one is a fancy bling bling pen, I gave it to little 7aki and somehow it ended up in my purse and a Disney princesses pencil and a little mini pen. Why do I have four writing implements and not ONE piece of paper???? Baffling.

10) Stickers. Yeah, Moms roll like that. Hehehehe

11) My work badge. Considering I have not worked since Sept 1st, 2008 it surprises me that this is still in my purse.

12) My Subway tokens purse thingy. LOVE IT. It’s a little butterfly.

13) Two things of floss, toothpaste, a brush ups sample. I’ve never tried the brush ups, are they any good?

14) A bunch of gift cards from Gap, Sears, Pottery Barn and Mastermind. Why do I still have these cards? I should go and use them. Oh I forgot, I am home with baby all the time and the weather sucks MAJOR ass.

15) Wet napkin.

16) Gum.

The End

So what’s in your purse.

And Please please please people do this tag I am bored and I would like people to do it so I can get some entertainment.

Men can do bed side table tag :)

The End

PS: What’s the difference between a bag and a purse?

PPS: If you reached this far down in the post you deserve a medal, for real.

PPPS: The End

Kids these days have it sooooo easy.

I do realize that this is an old joke and  I am actually copying and pasting but I can’t resist. It made me chuckle. And you youngER readers. I am not that old :-P but I can relate. LOL. I was actually 11 in 1987 .

The text in bold made me laugh out loud. I can SOOOOOOO relate. STUPID ATARI, in fact, I bought an ATARI game (has ALL the ATARI games on one CD)  for my PS3 and OMG they are sooooo hard!!! How was I even good at ATARI when I was younger??? I was GOOD people, now I can barely keep up, just like life , hehehehe.

OK OK I’ll stop rambling, here’s the joke:

When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up, what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year ’round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death.

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!
But…

Now that I’ve reached the ripe old age of 30-something, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so damned easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in Utopia.
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t even know how good you’ve got it. I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet — we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves!

And there was no e-mail! We had to actually write somebody a letter with a pen. And then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in a mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
And there were no MP3s! You wanted to steal music, you had to go to the record store and shoplift it yourself. Try sticking an LP album under your jacket, buddy. Or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ’d usually talk over the beginning and screw it all up!
We didn’t have fancy stuff like Call Waiting. If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal. And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID Boxes, either. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was — it could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent — you didn’t know! You just had to pick it up and take your chances.

And we didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics, we had the Atari 2600. With games like Space Invaders and Asteroids, and the graphics sucked! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever. And you could never win the game, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died. Just like life.

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on. And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. D’ya hear what the hell I’m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for a cartoon, you spoiled little bastards.
That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy! You wouldn’t last five minutes back in 1987!

I Am Back To Work …

… And I can’t keep my eyes open to save my life. I want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

- So I got a wicked tan while I was off. Are you jealous?

- My Belly is much bigger , I am 7 months pregnant now. The baby should weigh 2.5 pounds and it’s moving a lot, I swear to God I feel like the alien movie, it’s so weird when the baby moves I just feel  that my body is a host in some alien experiment. I know , I know , I watch too much TV.

- Did I say I am sleepy, DUDE, seriously I can’t keep my eyes open. I stayed up late last night cos I am stupid. And then little 7aki came to my bed saying (and I know it’s just a lie to get in bed with me) that she had a nightmare. So she hops in the bed and then amazingly every like half an hour or so her foot, head, leg or belly ends up on my face and I wake up. LOL. So yeah, zzzzzzzzz.

- I bought 3 dresses and a top and some some stuff when Baba 7aki was away so he was paying the VISA bill last night and he was like:”300 Dollars??? WHAAAAAAAAT”. HAHAHAHA.

I told him:” Well you thought I looked hot since you came back, so do u think me looking good comes cheap?” HAHAHAHA.

- We moved to a new work location and OMG I LOOOOOOOOVE IT. In the heart of downtown and today I discovered that there is a Lebanese place in the food court. This location is complete now, I can still get my shawerma fix but I have to try it out first and I hope they are good and they don’t desecrate the shawerma experience.

- I want a vacation.

- I look like a soccer ball and everybody tells me:” Awwww, you look sooo cute” . I guess in some cultures soccer balls are adorable cos honestly I don’t feel cute. heheeeeeee.

- Another thing I noticed. Since I became pregnant people are so much nicer to me. People at my daughters daycare who never talked to me before stop me and talk to me and want to know how things are going. And people in general smile at me and stuff. It’s bizarre. I think it’s the belly and I think that “The force is strong with this one“.

- I need to nap ASAP.

- OH OH, all last week I did not even read a word or even open a book. Bad 7aki BAD. But did I tell you that I have a wicked tan? So it’s ok that I have the dumb as long as I look hot, HAHAHAHAHA.

- Enough 7aki Fadi for today.

NC-17: No one under 17 is allowed . Some Of My Favorite Blogs Rated

Keeping with the theme of the previous post I rated some of the blogs on my blog roll, similar to a movie rating and oh boy this is just tooo funny.

1) First all the bloggers that are RATED G where all ages are admitted:

First Let me Rate Roba’s And Far away. You can practically give your kids Roba’s link with no fear.

.

Then I rated Naseems Black Iris, Also pretty good, but Naseem, you said Bitches!!!! LOL.

.

Then It was Hamza‘s turn, Hamza, how many times do I have to tell you to stop blogging about your drugs escapades????? HAHAHA. J/K

.

The Observer, Awwwww even the worst word you used was pain. PUTS ALL OF YOU TO SHAME!!!!

.

Hani Obaid was not too bad, maybe by ass he meant Donkey? LOL

.

Then it was Bakkouz‘s Turn . Shame on you Bakkouz. Oh the language you use.  Actually Bakkouz is pretty good. I think he meant Donkey too. HAHAHA

.

2) Now we enter the blogs where some PARENTAL GUIDANCE is required where some material may not be suitable for Children:

First off the shock of  the century is non other than Kinzi 8O .Oh kinzi the violence you have on your blog. LOL. I honestly thought Kinzi’s blog will return nothing but it did. Life is always full of surprises.

.

Then it was KJ’s . So you get PG for saying Crap??? Hmmm, I demand a recount. I think you should be in the rated G pile :-P .

.

3) Now we enter the realm of those blogs that kinda hover on the edge of being bad, the PG-13 blogs where Some material may not be appropriate for Children under 13.

.

First off non other than me, 7aki. Wow, violent and a potty mouth. And people send me emails sometimes telling me that my site is a family site and I keep telling them, dudes, trust me, it’s not.

.

Hareega is also rated PG-13. I laughed sooooooo hard when I read the words he uses. Hareega, a question: Why are you obsessed with faltulance? LOOOOOOOOL.

.

4) Now we start going into the serious stuff, The blogs Rated R. That people under 17 need an accompanying parent or guardian.

The first and only blog on this list is Bambam.

Wow I never knew that Scat means Poop. Again, we live and learn.

.

5) THEN I rated Rambling Hal’s , and oh boy you are in for the ride of your life. The undefeated champion of all blogs. Drum rolllll pleaaaaaaaaaaase.

NC-17: No one under 17 is allowed 8O HAHAHAHAHA. walik Hal shu haaaaaaad? My favorite word is stab.  LMAO

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To see how your blog rates go here

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Made In China

When I first came to Canada I was shocked because every time I check any label on any item I buy (ANY) I find out it was made in China!

Let me give you an idea of the things that are not more than ten footsteps away from hands reach that were made in China:

1) PS2 remote control.

2) A pottery Barn clock, OMG and we pay big bucks for anything Pottery Barn! This freakin clock cost me 90 dollars!!!!

3) Fancy chess set

4) All of my daughters toys. ALL OF THEM

5) OMG I just checked the little Canadian flag we have and this “I love Canada” mug and they are both made in China! This is too funny! It has China printed on both of them very clearly.

I don’t know if it’s a North American thing but 80% of anything we buy here is made in China. Even things that are expensive that you assume are not made there are made there.

Which reminds me; the other day I was at The Bay stores and I was in the cosmetics section and I saw some dead sea minerals and some dead sea mud masks and I immediately assumed that they will say “Made in Israel” but to my complete joy they said “Made in Jordan” I was soooo proud I wanted to show it to all the people passing by and tell them, “It’s from my country! Look, look”. My poor friend was with me and I kept looking at the packages beaming and I think she now might think I am crazy to be super excited about something like that.

By the way, those packages are a rip off, 20 bucks for a handful of dead sea salts that I can buy for 5 piasters in Amman.

A Very Immature Post

Yup, immature just like me sometimes. I know it’s old but it made me laugh today.

ASSICONS AKA E-Mooning

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass (HAHAHAHAHHHAHA)

{_!_} a swishy ass ( EW, maybe I should wish that the powers be bestow that upon some of my enemies)

(_o_) an ass that’s been around (WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHHAHA too funny!)

(_x_) kiss my ass ( I should start signing some of my emails with this one)

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass (We know someone like that)

(_?_) Dumb Ass ( Oh my. I wish I could use this one at work , LOL)

Which ASSICON is your favourite?

The Ugliest Thing I Have EVER Seen

OH MY GOD this is THE ugliest hat I have EVER seen. I mean Sarah Jessica Parker is already ugly but now she sprouted this monstrosity on her head.

Why oh why ????

I think I should refrain from sleeping tonight just in case her hat haunts me in my dreams.

And also is she even able to move her head? I would not want to sit behind her watching a movie and IN CANNES London.

Update: It is not photoshopped. Here’s the source.

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