Overheard While Fundraising

 

Little 7aki has a magazine sale fundraiser at her school. 7aki emailed all the friends and family to buy a magazine.

——————————————-

7aki: Buy a magazine or !!!!! LOL.

 Bob: I got the email last night. I promise to buy something – anything to help a high income school district generate even more money.

 7aki: You need to buy something today; it’s the deadline, so Little 7aki can get a useless gift. In true 7aki fashion I waited to send this in the last minute, little 7aki is not thrilled with me. I told her, I will take her to the dollar store and buy her that stupid eye that lights up.

 Bob: Seriously today or is this a sales pressure tactic? Do l have until midnight?

 7aki: You have until midnight.

 Bob: Why don’t you just buy $1000 worth of magazine…then gift them to everyone for birthdays and Christmas. Little 7aki gets her useless toy – and you don’t have to buy presents.

HAHAHAHA – take little 7aki to the dollar store. You are raising them right (in all seriousness)

 7aki: It’s so funny how kids want the stupidest things. If she sells one magazine she gets a wrist band, that is useless. If she sells three she gets both the wrist band and the eye that lights up, which is also useless. And if she sells 6 she gets all of the above and a water bottle.

So you have to sell 300 dollars’ worth of magazines to get useless gifts worth 5 dollars! LOL. SHOOT ME NOW.

 Bob: Tell me about it…we went to the open house and the school was selling stuff to raise money. I ended spending $10 – on a crappy school hat and a cheap ass band. Right now they are raising money through a dance-a-thon. It’s an endless pit.

 7aki: We have a dance-a-thon, a magazine sale, a school fair, a summer BBQ and hoola-hoop-a-thon PLUS the scholastic rape.

 Bob: HAHAHAHAHA – scholastic rape.

So true – every month. Actually it’s like scholastic PMS.

 7aki: HAHAHA scholastic PMS. SOOOO FUNNY!!!!

1 day later ….

 Bob: Okay – l checked out the prices.  It will be cheaper if l just buy little 7aki a Swarovski bead bracelet!

 7aki: AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Overheard on Mothers Day

I hear little feel patterning and soft little squeaky voices whispering. My bedroom door opens and then closes. I glance at the clock, it’s 6:30 AM. Yaaaaaaawn. not getting up.

Same happens at 6:45, 7:15, 7:30.

I hear little feet going down the stairs. Lots of clangy noises from the kitchen. I hear feet coming up the stairs.

Little 7aki while going up the stairs: Buddhaaaaaa, you’re spilling the juuuuuuice!

Little Buddha: But you filled the cup too muuuuuuuuuch.

Little 7aki: Buddhaaaaaa, stop spilling the juice!

Little Buddha: But, but, you’re walking too faaaaast. Slow dowwwwwwwwwn.

I hear my door opening. I see Little 7aki carrying a tray and little Buddha carrying a cup of juice.

Little 7aki and little Buddha: Happy motheeeers daaaaay.

7aki: Awwwwww, you girls made me breakfast in Bed??? You girls are soooo sweet!

Little 7aki: Yes, we made you a turkey sandwich with cheese and butter, Buddha helped me! We put lots of butter because it tastes good.

Little Buddha beaming: And I carried the juice for you!

7aki: I love you girls sooooooo much.

I turn to whisper to Baba 7aki: Do I have to eat a turkey sandwich this early???? Hehehe.

As I take two sips from my juice little Buddha says: Can I have a taste of your juice? (gulp gulp gulp… she drank it all)

As I take a bite out of my sandwich, little 7aki and Buddha say: Can we have a taste of your sandwich? (NOM NOM NOM… they ate it all)

I ended up with no sandwich… no juice … and breadcrumbs all over my bed. HAHAHAHAHA , soooo funny!

But I did end up with the fullest heart! It was the most thoughtful thing an eight and three year old can ever do.

I love my girls.

 

 

Just to Get Rid of the Picture, of the Finger, On the Home Page

Yeah, being at work and opening your blog and getting the finger, blog post below this one, is NOT a good idea,   HAHAHAHA.

So let me tell you how shitty it has been in the past few months:

- End of May baby Buddha had a very bad, and I am talking very bad respiratory distress emergency, asthma attack, at her daycare and she was barely breathing.

Daycare was HORRIBLE in handling the emergency; instead of calling 911 they waited for us to go pick her up and we are an hour drive away!  Luckily a relative lives close by and went to pick her up and as soon as she took one look at her she was shocked at her state. There is a clinic a hundred meters away and the stupid daycare sat there waiting for us to come save the day. The clinic saw her and called 911 immidiatly and she had to be taken to the hospital by an ambulance and I wasn’t there to go with her :( . Saying that the train ride home was the longest train ride IN MY LIFE is a understatement.

Some asthma medicine and oxygen fixed Buddha right up and she was fine but I was so stressed and crying the whole ride over.

So, due to the daycares complete and utter negligence we pulled her out that day and we didn’t look back.

They say bad things happen for good reasons and right now she is at the bestest daycare EVER. I am glad we moved her and I am so happy where she is right now. In a way her getting really sick allowed us to find her a much better place to thrive at.

Except it was real and much more less cute

- Not one month later, the FIRST day of summer vacation, little 7aki fell and fractured her arm, while we were at a beach resort none the less.

She had to have the cast on for four weeks. Nothing spells summer fun better than a broken arm!

She was a trooper though, the whole thing barely fazed her and she managed to have a fun summer.

Yup, it was her RIGHT arm that she uses for , you know, EVERYTHING

-  various colds and strep throats and eczema, yaaaaay, fun!

YAAAAAAAAY

- Then I cut my finger with a knife and had four stitches and also had the tetanus shot of death. My finger has not healed yet, yaaaaaay, fun!

I googled: Cut, finger, knife and ewwww the pictures were so gross. So I put a picture of a unicron.

Now that the summer of accidents is over and little 7aki is back to school I am looking forward to us having our boring old routine back.

That's me and my friends celebrating the end of the summer vacation.

YAY for back to school!!!!!

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Rub My Belly Mama, Mama, Rub My Belly

My little Buddha who calls her belly boody. She is sooooo funny.

She says:

Mama, talk to me, talk to me mama, mama, talk to me …. so … I have an idea , lets color.

That is just soooooooo funny, “talk to me” in her world means “listen” and I think it is just the funniest thing EVER.

She also says: Mama, MAMA , I tellllll youuuuuuu, SIT DOWN. (yes the caps are her speaking to me sternly , LOL)

She just turned two and a half years old a couple days ago and she is blossoming more and more and has her own personality.

My little Buddha copies and says everything little 7aki says. Little 7aki says, mama, I don’t like this it’s gross, and then I hear an echo , mama, it’s goss, goss mama.

Hahahaha.

Oh, and another thing, Buddha blames everything on little 7aki:

7aki: Who spilled the milk?

Buddha: Little 7aki

7aki: Who turned off the TV?

Buddha: Little 7aki

7aki: Who did poopy in the diaper?

Buddha: Little 7aki.

7aki: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Then she sits in the back seat in the car and when I get out to unbuckle her she has her eyes closed and a tiiiiiny smile on her face.

I say: Buddaaaaah.

Little Buddha: I sleeping mama, I sleeping.

God I want to ef3asha.

And little 7aki, will be seven in May, SEVEN, when did this HAPPEN???? I love her so much my little monkey she is such a mothering big sister and she worships the ground little Buddha walks on; she takes a lot of abuse from her little sister but is always calm and loving towards her.

She now thinks princess are lame and totally babyish. Well, she didn’t really have a lot of interest in princesses before but now will NOT BE SEEN DEAD even close or TOUCHING anything that has a princess print on it. What can I say, like mother like daughter; while I was such a tom boy growing up, no seriously, you don’t want to see the pictures; she is actually interested in jewelery, hair, perfume and makeup and OH MY GOD is obsessed with shoes.

So she has a perfect balance she is a fierce tom boyish girly girl who would have skinned knees and lip gloss.

Fa3es those two.

Gotta love girls.

And that concludes my quarterly post of the year.

Over and out.

 

The Story of The MOFO BIB-BIB

MOFO BIB - BIB

Alright, so as I mentioned in my previous post, little Buddha is a liiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit diva-isk, she wants what she wants and she wants it NOOOOOOOWWWW.

It all started when we were on a mini two day vacation to a beach resort . And as you all know on a beach there must be sand, and because there was sand little 7aki had flip flops (we call them shib shib in Arabic)  with her, and guess who got attached to flip-flops? You guessed it, little buhdda, so she would fight with her sister all the time for them so I went and got her a pair and sure enough buddha took to them like white on rice. She would not take them off for anything. Wore them to the beach, on the deck, in the house, and if I would have let her she would have worn them IN BED.

Now, little buddha was only 22 months old and as we all know wearing flip flops takes some skill if you are a beginner, I mean you need to keep your toes pressed tight around the front piece thingy to keep them on; so suffice it to say although Buddha loved them so much she kept WHINING ABOUT HOW SHE CAN”T KEEP THEM ON.

She loved them so much she refused to wear ANYTHING else on her feet. I am talking try to put sandals on and you have a half hour battle ahead if you before you even get out the door. Every time we wanted to go out  she would start yelling. BIIIIIIIB BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIB , BIIIIIIIB BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIB .

So now picture  her bib bib s slipping off her feet EVERY FIVE EFFING MINUTES and I have to fix them because OMG her flip flops slipped off her feet, BIIIIIIB BIIIIIIIIIIIB, it must be a catastrophe. Lets all run to little buddha and fix her flip-flops because the world would end as we know it if we don’t help her.

After 2 days of EVERY WAKING MINUTE OF MY LIFE of her bib – bib slipping off I SNAPPED because they would slip off her feet and she would come to me to fix them with her most perfected whiny whimperish cry, that buddha is a pro, A PRO I TELL YA, if she entered a whiny-ness (is that a word?) competition she would win.

I snapped and I said mother effing flip flops. And people this is a momentous occasion, I NEVER swear in front of my kids EVER.

Baba 7aki was standing there , he looked at me, I looked at him,and then we were both on the floor laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation. I mean we are not talking Middle East peace here people, we are talking about keeping flip flops on a 22 month olds feet. FLIP FLOPS!!!!!

So now if baba 7aki and I find ourselves in a frustrating situation that we can’t help or control all we have to say to each other is MOFO bib-bib and we would be heaps on the floor laughing.

Luckily for little Buddha, and I mean luckily for her OWN WELL BEING, she perfected wearing the cursed bib bib.

Although I joke about this right now but I am telling you people flip-flops traumatize me to this day.

I AM TRAUMATIZED.

Work, Red Shoes And Stuff.

Man it feels I have not blogged for ages. Well I did not blog for ages.

I have been really busy at work, no time to screw around  busy.

Oh, and in case you didn’t know I have 2 kids now. And nobody told me that having 2 kids is like having NO LIFE. I am telling you, one kid is a piece of cake add number 2 and all of a sudden there is no time for ANYTHING that has to do with YOU aka the Mom.

And I am already getting pressure from the family to have number 3, you know what people SHUT UP about number 3. I think I am DONE….maybe? darn it, you see, those little buggers are so cute and cuddly and …and … Buddha bellied…. CUTE….until they puke all over the bed, and the floor and the wall.Actually, after second thought, I think I’m done.

An update about ma familia:

Little 7aki is 6 now, wow, she’s a big girl, she’s kooky and crazy but in a good way, she likes to run with no inhibition, she would choose the black bike that has flames on it instead of the purple bike with streamers, fearless and brave.

She is pretty much kind of sort of self reliant now. And so fun to go out with to shop and chill where I don’t have to run after her and say stop and no and stuff. She likes to watch wipe out and also , YES I ADMIT IT, Americas funniest  home videos. What? It’s funny OK :P. It’s just when she giggles I want to bottle it up forever.

Little Buddha on the other hand, OH MY GOD If she didn’t look so much like me, I am serious our baby photos are identical , I would have thought she got switched at the hospital! She is so different from her sister, how can I word this very nicely, WHINY. hehe.

She whines AAAAALLLLLLLL THHHHHHHEEEEEE TIIMEEEEEEEE. For example, if she wants to eat she would say, kinda wimperish and cryish: mommy, fooooooood, NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. She really and honestly says now. She tells me, mama, haaaaaaaaalp me, LOL. I swear help with an A, Haaaaaaaalpme , kinda connected in one word, I want to tape it because it is sooooo funny! She speaks in a Khallili English dialect, HAHAHAHAHAHA.

She’s a Diva too, OMG try and change her clothes when she doesn’t want to;  hell would break loose, I mean , heap on the floor, kicking legs, screaming, and saying, off,off, NOWWWWWWWW.

She likes to carry this little purse around and she’s ALWAYS wearing my high heeled shoes around the house, no word of a lie, always click clacking on the hardwood floor.

And oh, she’s only 23 months!!!! WHAT???? This is supposed to be happening like when she like turns like THIRTEEN!!!!! …Like.

Little 7aki on the other hand would just say OK to whatever, wear this, eat that , don’t do this or that, so easy going,  until she goes outside and terrorizes ALL the kids on the street  seriously, no one messes with little 7aki.

Little Buddha is loved  by all because she is such a lamb, OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE!!!!! She is the boss of baba 7aki that one. And her Grandfathers favorite too, their bond is so beautiful and precious, brings joy to my heart every time I see it.

My girls; little 7aki who has the heart of an angel, so loving and caring and would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. And my little Buddha who lights up my life with her spunk and that sparkle in her eyes.

Although you two wear me out I would give anything to you….unless it’s my new red shoes, Buddha , I know you are only 23 months old but you better lay your hands off of those or I’m coming after you.

My Little Buddha

I sent Bob a picture of peanut, who by the way I am calling little  Buddha from now on because, seriously, she has a Buddha belly that Buddha would be jealous of, JEALOUS I tell ya. So peanut calls her belly boody because she can’t say Buddha.  Fa3eeeeeeees.

OK, end of tangent 1.

This is the exchange that went between Bob and I after he saw my little Buddha’s picture.

Bob: OMGZ….very cutez….totally baby Baba 7akiz.
I can’t believe you gave birth to little Buddha.
It is little Buddha?

Tangent 2 : Bob and I append a Z after everything now, it is soooooooooooo funny. Seriously immature and lame but for some reason it amuses us to no end and CRACKS ME UP. Try is sometime.

7aki: Yes, it is little Buddha.
According to my Mom she is my twin

Bob: Really? I don’t see it..I see 100% Baba 7aki.
Your moms in denial.

7aki: You know how it is, the grandparents try to always claim that it’s THEIR genes that have been passed on not the ENEMY’S genes.

Unless the kid is ugly or there’s something wrong with them, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Bob: Too funny…I have to tell this to my parents.

And this concludes today’s session of 7aki Fadi

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