Overheard at the Office: Birthdays and Butter Chicken

7aki: The case of the deadly butter Chicken

Bob:  Hahahahaha – Are you gonna read it?

7aki:  If you buy it I will borrow it from you.

Bob:  I thought you might get it for me – for my birthday.

7aki:  Which is in April.

Bob:  Awwww you remembered – the month. Bonus Bob points if you know the date.

7aki:  The 20th?  Or the 14th

Bob:  No bonus points for you. I know Mar 2 is someone’s birthday

7aki:  You have it in your Iphone.  The 19th? Was I even close?

Bob:

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7aki:  HAHAHAHA.   But Awwww, what a cute baby.   The 12th?

Bob:  Just so that l’m clear on where l my relative importance ranking, please tell me you know  Ambigous Help Desk dudes Birthday? office loud mouth? Burper?

7aki:  When the f**k is your birthday.

Bob:  I should just adopt the day you thought was my birthday as my birthday. I’m now doubting my own birthdate.

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7aki:  I said 14th the first time! That was really close, and then I said the 12th??? So I knew it was between the 10th and the 20th.

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Bob:  Hahahahaha…. close enough from you is the equivalent of I love you from most people. I’ll take that.

Overheard at the Office: The One Percent.

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Bob:  The 7aki’s are part of the 1 percent

7aki: Holllaaaaaaa.  But why does the 99 percent go on more vacations?

Bob: Two reasons:

1-      To escape a horrible day to day life

2-      They don’t have jobs that have responsibility

7aki:  So if you have more money you have less time to enjoy it. SOOOOOO IRONIC! Best case scenario, Baba 7aki makes lots of money and I quit my job to enjoy it!

Bob:  I think you have the answer!!!  I don’t want to work.

7aki:  Your lucky wife is not working.

Bob:  My wife does it all…but that is the problem. Trying to have it all, makes it stressful. Even my mother has told me to tell her to relax – cuz she will die early and leave me a widower.

7aki:  A widower to marry someone younger Aaaahahahahahahahahahha.

Bob:  Hahahahaha…. l should take out a bigger insurance policy!  Is there anything sacred that WE won’t joke about?

Overheard While Fundraising

 

Little 7aki has a magazine sale fundraiser at her school. 7aki emailed all the friends and family to buy a magazine.

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7aki: Buy a magazine or !!!!! LOL.

 Bob: I got the email last night. I promise to buy something – anything to help a high income school district generate even more money.

 7aki: You need to buy something today; it’s the deadline, so Little 7aki can get a useless gift. In true 7aki fashion I waited to send this in the last minute, little 7aki is not thrilled with me. I told her, I will take her to the dollar store and buy her that stupid eye that lights up.

 Bob: Seriously today or is this a sales pressure tactic? Do l have until midnight?

 7aki: You have until midnight.

 Bob: Why don’t you just buy $1000 worth of magazine…then gift them to everyone for birthdays and Christmas. Little 7aki gets her useless toy – and you don’t have to buy presents.

HAHAHAHA – take little 7aki to the dollar store. You are raising them right (in all seriousness)

 7aki: It’s so funny how kids want the stupidest things. If she sells one magazine she gets a wrist band, that is useless. If she sells three she gets both the wrist band and the eye that lights up, which is also useless. And if she sells 6 she gets all of the above and a water bottle.

So you have to sell 300 dollars’ worth of magazines to get useless gifts worth 5 dollars! LOL. SHOOT ME NOW.

 Bob: Tell me about it…we went to the open house and the school was selling stuff to raise money. I ended spending $10 – on a crappy school hat and a cheap ass band. Right now they are raising money through a dance-a-thon. It’s an endless pit.

 7aki: We have a dance-a-thon, a magazine sale, a school fair, a summer BBQ and hoola-hoop-a-thon PLUS the scholastic rape.

 Bob: HAHAHAHAHA – scholastic rape.

So true – every month. Actually it’s like scholastic PMS.

 7aki: HAHAHA scholastic PMS. SOOOO FUNNY!!!!

1 day later ….

 Bob: Okay – l checked out the prices.  It will be cheaper if l just buy little 7aki a Swarovski bead bracelet!

 7aki: AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Overheard in May – Testosterone

Bob: So I’m reading this story of the Indian dude Anil Kumar who gave insider secrets to a hedge fund. Anil had everything – power, money, prestige etc – he risked it all for about 2 million dollars.That is nothing compared to the compensation he was earning. I don’t get why people risk for so little. What was the motivation? There wasn’t even a chick involved here.It can’t be greed.

Maybe smart people are just stupid.

7aki: Today there was this guy talking about risk taking (specifically in the financial sector) and how it affects your body. This guy is very successful and success increases the testosterone level in men which causes over confidence which causes people to take stupid risks.

He is a text book case.

Bob: I hate arrogance – and l actually love watching arrogant people go down.
I’m glad l’m awesome without the arrogance – LOL

7aki: Hahahaha.

You must have the lowest level of testosterone EVER since you are so averse to risk.

Add that to the multiple insults I rain on you.

Bob: Ouch!

If l didn’t have such a low testosterone count – l would respond

7aki: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I blame the foot. (His ankle was broken and he was immobile)

It totally de- testosteronized you

Bob: Your passive aggressive behavior is increasing in intensity.

Are you sure my foot is not an excuse for some other deep seeded frustration?

Tell me about your child hood. LOL

7aki: HAHAHAHA.

And all this time I thought I was being flat out aggressive! I have to kick it up a notch.

My childhood sucked ass.

Bob: Maybe l can borrow some of your testosterone.

You should change your signature line to:

Don’t Mess,
7aki

7aki: I am hormonally imbalanced and I can’t even blame pregnancy.

I just crazy. LOL

That’s what happens when you have too many uncontrollable things in your life.

And who takes the brunt of my frustrations? You and baba 7aki. LOL.

Bob: On the crazy scale 7aki – you don’t even rate :)

7aki: And you have lots of testosterone Bob *hugs*

Bob: hahahahaha…too funny.

I love us.

Overheard at the Office

Yes they are!

Bob: This is 2 days in a row – where you are too well made up to work in this joint. You should be working in the financial district.

7aki: I should!!!!! Tell those bitchez!

Bob: Like they say, dress for the job you want, not the one you have…I look forward to Monday to see what else comes out of your closet.

7aki: A gay man.

Bob: Hahahahaha.

Ho’ing

Little Buddha: What’s that noise? Is someone ho’ing outside.

7aki (double take) : What was that? whose doing what?

Little Buddha: I hear baba ho’ing outside.

7aki: 8O ? what?

little Buddha: He is ho’ing the lawn.

7aki: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You mean MOWING the lawn?

little Buddha: Yeah, ho’ing the lawn.

7aki to Baba 7aki through the window: Hey, baba 7aki, will ya take a break from ho’ing please! HAHAHAHAHA.

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Happy Eid my loyal readers. And please it’s Eid! You should stop ho’ing the lawn and take a break and go out and have some fun.

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Also in other exciting news, you can now comment on the blog using your twitter handle or your facebook profile! thanks to the gorgeous people of WordPress :D .

Rub My Belly Mama, Mama, Rub My Belly

My little Buddha who calls her belly boody. She is sooooo funny.

She says:

Mama, talk to me, talk to me mama, mama, talk to me …. so … I have an idea , lets color.

That is just soooooooo funny, “talk to me” in her world means “listen” and I think it is just the funniest thing EVER.

She also says: Mama, MAMA , I tellllll youuuuuuu, SIT DOWN. (yes the caps are her speaking to me sternly , LOL)

She just turned two and a half years old a couple days ago and she is blossoming more and more and has her own personality.

My little Buddha copies and says everything little 7aki says. Little 7aki says, mama, I don’t like this it’s gross, and then I hear an echo , mama, it’s goss, goss mama.

Hahahaha.

Oh, and another thing, Buddha blames everything on little 7aki:

7aki: Who spilled the milk?

Buddha: Little 7aki

7aki: Who turned off the TV?

Buddha: Little 7aki

7aki: Who did poopy in the diaper?

Buddha: Little 7aki.

7aki: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Then she sits in the back seat in the car and when I get out to unbuckle her she has her eyes closed and a tiiiiiny smile on her face.

I say: Buddaaaaah.

Little Buddha: I sleeping mama, I sleeping.

God I want to ef3asha.

And little 7aki, will be seven in May, SEVEN, when did this HAPPEN???? I love her so much my little monkey she is such a mothering big sister and she worships the ground little Buddha walks on; she takes a lot of abuse from her little sister but is always calm and loving towards her.

She now thinks princess are lame and totally babyish. Well, she didn’t really have a lot of interest in princesses before but now will NOT BE SEEN DEAD even close or TOUCHING anything that has a princess print on it. What can I say, like mother like daughter; while I was such a tom boy growing up, no seriously, you don’t want to see the pictures; she is actually interested in jewelery, hair, perfume and makeup and OH MY GOD is obsessed with shoes.

So she has a perfect balance she is a fierce tom boyish girly girl who would have skinned knees and lip gloss.

Fa3es those two.

Gotta love girls.

And that concludes my quarterly post of the year.

Over and out.

 

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