Bridesmaids: The Movie

I have not laughed so hard at a movie theater for a very, very , very long time! So long in fact I actually don’t remember when.

The movie was well scripted, well cast and well directed.

I did not stop laughing throughout the whole movie;  you HAVE to go see it.  Its much funnier than hangover and I am NOT exaggerating.

Loved it.

 

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Winning

This is selling in  downtown Toronto  EVERYWHERE! Could be yours for the low price of 19.99!

It’s a T-Shirt. CRACKS.ME.UP!

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Passive Aggresive Note ala Toronto Style

Baba 7aki found this note posted in the mens bathroom.

LMAO

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How to Prepare For Judgment Day May 21, 2011

So tomorrow is the end of the world as we know it, well according to Harold Camping anyways, so this post is a “how to” get ready for judgment day.

-If you are a believer, and only a believer in the religions that say there is a judgment day, build yourself a hammock, relax, make yourself a cocktail and enjoy the show because, hey, you are going to heaven!

- If you are a believer in other religions that do not, per say, endorse the apocalypse rest assured; believing in something might score you some points and you might end up OK after all so maybe you should not build a hammock right away; you should run to the nearest worship temple and pray. Then build a hammock and make yourself a drink.

- Now if you are an Atheist, Agnostic or an unbeliever then I am sorry my friend you are SOL. But do not fear, there are options: you can either rescue a pet  ( hey if the prediction does NOT come true then you would have made some money! BWAHAHAHAHA).  Or maybe go to a rapture day  party because hey, if the prediction DOES come true you might as well have fun before going to hell since you are going there ANYWAY, HA!

In all cases, whatever you are;  the only downside to judgment day not happening  is that you are going to be nursing one helluva hangover.

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Things That Irk Me

I needed a snack so I reached into my goodies kitchen cabinet (yes I have one and it’s spilling with stuff) and I got a bag of chips, I opened it and BAM! A post was inspired.

I will list things, despite their insignificance, that irk me:

1) Why are bags of chips big and when you open them they are half full? I know I know you need the air so they won’t crumble but honestly, the amount of chips in these bags is sooo measly that it PISSES ME OFF.

2)Me being pissed of at point number 1. Stan, why are you so mad (name that song)

3) People.

4) People who step off the escalator and stand on the top like idiots. MOVE AWAY BITCHES!

5) Empty milk carton in the fridge, oh the RAGE.

6) Did I say people?

7) High heal shoes that look amazing but mangle your feet, I mean they make you look sexy and 10 feet tall but as soon as you take them off your feet look like ASS.

8.) Speaking of ass, I need to go to the gym, so what irks me is that I CAN’T go to the gym at a reasonable time! It has to be so effing early or soo effing late. Kids, don’t have them!

9) Not winning the lottery.

10) TV shows that have like 3 weeks of breaks between episodes, seriously? YOU SUCK.

And that concludes the rant of the day.

To the one reader that reads this blog *waves hand* what irks you?

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Touché

7aki: Life is a bitch.

Bob: Life wouldn’t be such a bitch if you come up here for lunch. (Up here is really far from where 7aki works)

7aki: How about we meet half way? Name that song.

Bob: Black eyed peas.

Uptown girl you’re So far away so we’ll Meet you in the middle (name those songs)!

When can you make it?

Monday Monday
Ruby Tuesday
Wednesday (couldn’t think of a song)
Thursday (couldn’t think of a song)
Freaky Friday

Can you tell I’m bored.

7aki: Billy Joel and Tyler Kyte?

Lisa Loeb – Tails – Waiting for Wednesday
Lotus – Beautiful Day – Six Weeks Till Wednesday
Jimmy Eat World – Jimmy Eat World – Wednesday
Tori Amos – Scarlet’s Walk – Wednesday

David Bowie – Hours – Thursday’s Child
Rollins Band – Come In And Burn – Thursday Afternoon

Also

Sunday Bloody Sunday
Come Monday
Tuesdays Gone
Friday I’m in Love
Saturday Nights All Right for Fighting

What about the new Friday Firday song? So popular, and the singer is a sister of yours :p

I am more bored than you man.

Bob: LOL – I don’t think Friday Friday girl is a sister – I think she is Latino
I think l’m bored more. I am bored about being bored.

7aki: I am so bored of listening to you say how you are bored about being bored. LOL

Bob: You win.
Now I’m officially bored to death.

7aki: Well I died of boredom and was brought back to life; that experience was boring.

Bob: I listened to one of Stan’s (name changed to protect the innocent) stories recapping an episode from old British sci-fi series that no one in north America has heard of.

7aki: I heard you talking about listening to one of Stan’s stories recapping an episode from old British sci-fi series that no one in north America has heard of and that bored me even more

Bob: You win again. But l’m too bored to care.

7aki: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Touché

I am so bored I looked up the word in Wiki

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Ploopy… Pass It On

OH EM GEE it’s May already!

How does time fly like that?

Why has 7aki not been blogging a lot? It’s because life has been bitch slapping 7aki, that’s why.

And 7aki feels that she is bored too and in a totally UN-funny mood for the past 6 months.

So what has been happening?

Kids, work, life.

Also.

7aki turned 35 in March THAT’S WHAT.

7aki blames it all on turning 35. YIKES.

Why am I talking in the third person? LOL.

I am now closer to 40 than I was to 30 and this just sucks ASS. It really does.

I don’t care that 40 is the new 30 blah blah blah I feel different. I feel , what’s the right word here … ploopy … a word I read in one of Little 7aki’s books (name that book), I have no clue what it means but it kind of expresses how I feel.

I feel ploopy.

On another note, do you know the game pass it on? (in Arabic: iltilephone ilkharban) little 7aki comes to me while we are sitting in a group and whispers in my ear: “Ploopy, pass it on” and it CRACKS ME UP EVERY TIME. We now do it with all sorts of things, if she wants to say something she does not want people to hear she whispers it in my ear, says pass it on, and giggles and after that I am a heap on the floor laughing.

It all started with Shaboobs, pass it on, which is another story for another time.

Shaboobs? AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA. So funny. I write it here because I want to remember it when little 7aki is older. It’s a story about The bachelor, a girl called Chantal and her big assets. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Google it.

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Rub My Belly Mama, Mama, Rub My Belly

My little Buddha who calls her belly boody. She is sooooo funny.

She says:

Mama, talk to me, talk to me mama, mama, talk to me …. so … I have an idea , lets color.

That is just soooooooo funny, “talk to me” in her world means “listen” and I think it is just the funniest thing EVER.

She also says: Mama, MAMA , I tellllll youuuuuuu, SIT DOWN. (yes the caps are her speaking to me sternly , LOL)

She just turned two and a half years old a couple days ago and she is blossoming more and more and has her own personality.

My little Buddha copies and says everything little 7aki says. Little 7aki says, mama, I don’t like this it’s gross, and then I hear an echo , mama, it’s goss, goss mama.

Hahahaha.

Oh, and another thing, Buddha blames everything on little 7aki:

7aki: Who spilled the milk?

Buddha: Little 7aki

7aki: Who turned off the TV?

Buddha: Little 7aki

7aki: Who did poopy in the diaper?

Buddha: Little 7aki.

7aki: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Then she sits in the back seat in the car and when I get out to unbuckle her she has her eyes closed and a tiiiiiny smile on her face.

I say: Buddaaaaah.

Little Buddha: I sleeping mama, I sleeping.

God I want to ef3asha.

And little 7aki, will be seven in May, SEVEN, when did this HAPPEN???? I love her so much my little monkey she is such a mothering big sister and she worships the ground little Buddha walks on; she takes a lot of abuse from her little sister but is always calm and loving towards her.

She now thinks princess are lame and totally babyish. Well, she didn’t really have a lot of interest in princesses before but now will NOT BE SEEN DEAD even close or TOUCHING anything that has a princess print on it. What can I say, like mother like daughter; while I was such a tom boy growing up, no seriously, you don’t want to see the pictures; she is actually interested in jewelery, hair, perfume and makeup and OH MY GOD is obsessed with shoes.

So she has a perfect balance she is a fierce tom boyish girly girl who would have skinned knees and lip gloss.

Fa3es those two.

Gotta love girls.

And that concludes my quarterly post of the year.

Over and out.

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Sh*t My Dad Says

This book is soooooooooooo funny!

The story behind it is that the book author Justin Halpern had a 2 year long distance relationship with his girlfriend; he lived and worked in LA and she lived in San Diego and wanted to move in with her so he found a job that will allow him to live in San Diego, so he let his apartment in LA go and went to San Diego to surprise his girlfriend but instead of her jumping up and down with joy she broke up with him.

Justin found himself homeless and the only thing he could think of was to move back in with his parents. While he stayed at his parents his father was saying the funniest and weirdest things to him so Justin created the Twitter account “Sh*t My Dad Says” and a phenomenon was  born.

The nice thing about the book that it’s not just quotes from his dad but also has a number of stories about his dad that he collected from family members.

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

Put the rake down. I don’t wanna sit around watching you ‘give it your best.’ Either stop sucking or get the fuck out of the way

See, you think I give a shit. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I’m thinking; How can I give less of shit? That’s why I look interested

This one is a pearl of wisdom:

Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit

This one is my favroite one, soooooo true!

A parent’s only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed

Loved it and would recommend it for a good laugh.

Here are more of my reviews

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The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo Trilogy

I read The girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played With Fire and The girl who kicked the hornets nest by Stieg Larsson and thought they were OK.

What interested me was the author more than the books themselves; did you know that the author died back in 2004 and the books were published after his death? Interesting I thought.

It’s a story about :

A 24-year-old computer hacker sporting an assortment of tattoos and body piercings and afflicted with Asperger Syndrome or something of the like has been under state guardianship in her native Sweden since she was thirteen. She supports herself by doing deep background investigations for Dragan Armansky, who, in turn, worries the anorexic-looking Lisbeth Salander is “the perfect victim for anyone who wished her ill.” Salander may look fourteen and stubbornly shun social norms, but she possesses the inner strength of a determined survivor. She sees more than her word processor page in black and white and despises the users and abusers of this world. She won’t hesitate to exact her own unique brand of retribution against small-potatoes bullies, sick predators, and corrupt magnates alike.

I know there’s a big hype over these books but I thought they were just alright. Nothing to write home about.

To read more of my reviews go here

 

 

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10 Year Wedding Anniversary Part 3

I didn’t mean for this 10 year wedding anniversary blog to drag on forever. I promise this is the last post about this but look at what Baba 7aki got me!

He got me a GORGEOUS Michael Kors watch. It looks soooo amazing, I am going to resize it today. You should see it in person; it sparkles :D .

Baba 7aki has donez goodz

# White ceramic and rose golden bracelet strap.
# Rose golden and white ceramic bezel.
# Mother-of-pearl and white face with golden time stops and crystal insets.

But as you know these kinds of occasions are not about presents they are about …….. nah, presents are fun. LOL.

And he surprised me! Yesterday he was saying, oh the present I was going to get you was not in stock so maybe I’ll get you something next week and I really belived him and he comes in with the bag and I see Micheal Kors printed on it so I jumped and grabbed it! I’ve been wanting one of these watches forever.

So finally baba 7aki was able to surprise me and he was sooo happy

And this concludes the 10 year wedding anniversary trilogy.

 

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Then We Came to the End

I loved Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris.

The whole book is written in the plural first person.

This is how we are introduced to the characters:

We were fractious and overpaid. Our mornings lacked promise. At least those of us who smoked had something to look forward to at ten-fifteen. Most of us liked most everyone, a few of us hated specific individuals, one or two people loved everyone one and everything. Those who loved everyone were unanimously reviled.

About creativity in the workplace:

We worked in the creative department developing ads and we considered our ad work creative, but it wasn’t half as creative as the work we’d put in to pad our time sheets every Monday morning since layoffs began.

This amazingly depicts office work at any work place to a T:

The bizarre and wonderful and horrible thing about working here is that we find ourselves all caught up in it so that the rest of the world loses its meaning. The connections we make here take on the strange intensity of playground rivalries and cruelties and ecstasies and revelries. Our world could easily be mistaken for the world that the rest of you inhabit, but we feel our losses more acutely and our joys more profoundly by virtue of sharing them with the rest of us here and only here

Funny, witty and so sadly summarizes office/cubicle life and how pathetic we ( 9-5 zombies) are.

Although the book is funny it makes you uncomfortable sometimes,  sad other times but as a whole a good read.

Fun read. I give it the 2 thumbs up.

For more book reviews go here.

 

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10 Year Wedding Anniversary Part 2

BamBam (who’s a good friend) emailed me today and told me that I was a “Poo Poo Head” for cramping Baba 7aki’s style and that I should have let him “do his thing” and I can go buy myself the IPad.

Little does he know that before I even read his email I was feeling HORRIBLE about being a flat out surprise spoiler ( yeah Baba 7aki was a bit miffed) and now I feel even WORSE.

SO THANKS FOR THAT Bam :P .

And then he wanted to know what I got my man so here goes:

I got him this yesterday:

We already have the PS3 and I knew he had his eye on the PS3 move for a while .

I spent about an hour setting it up and downloading some games; we have an entertainment centre that is about 9 feet away from the TV and all the wiring is snaked inside the wall(maybe I will share some pics one day) so I had to buy USB extension cord and set the “eye” on top of the TV to make sure it’s positioned properly and did all this good stuff before he got home. To my luck he was working a bit late and came in JUST as I finished setting things up ; I managed to sneak in some play time, MWAAAHAHAHAHA , my arm hurts though, that move gets you moving!

I wanted to show it to him this morning but I CANNOT WAIT TO SURPRISE SOMEONE TO SAVE MY LIFE so I showed him his present last night…he he he I am such a loser. He LOVED it

Baba 7aki is lucky to have a techie wife I tell ya :D . And don’t tell him I said this but sometimes my technical skills surpass his. heheeeeee . Fo realz yo.

Tonight we will have our dinner and little does he know that I have another surprise up my sleeve; he thinks he got the “Move” and that is it but I also got him this:

I hope he likes it.

And yeah, I will be lucky if I get a MOFO shib-shib (flip flops) after upsetting him yesterday . LOL.

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A Dose of Dystopian Utopia

I have read over 13 books in the past months and have not reviewed them. BAD 7aki. I have been partly busy, partly unmotivated and partly lazy :D .

I like to review my books so I can keep a history of what I read and also an account of what I thought of the book. I have discovered that while I am reading a book, keeping the idea of reviewing it in my mind, I absorb more and pay attention to more things. Funny eh. Before reviewing books I never remembered anything about them.

Today I will review the book Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand first published in 1957.

I came to know about this book from the modern librarys top 100 books and it was rated number one by readers.

As you know, Atlas is the Greek God who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and this book discusses a dystopia where how all the smart and hardworking people are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders and how all the lazy, unsuccessful “looters” are riding on the coattails of their success.

The Atlases of the world are considered cold hearted, calculating, greedy and the looters are portraying themselves as the ones looking out for the goodwill of society.

So what will happen if Atlas shrugs? The whole world will fall and crash so in this novel all the minds and the hard workers and the geniuses of the whole world decide to shrug , go on strike and disappear and leave the looters to fend for themselves.

I felt that this book is all about defending capitalism to the core; how competition leads to a better society, where a socialist society leads to the loss of ambition and consequently laziness. I do have to say that Ayn takes this idea too far in my opinion since she portrays capitalism as being pure and good all the time.

Some of my favorite quotes:

- Force and mind are opposites; morality ends where the gun begins

- “If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down on his shoulders—what would you tell him to do?” ” To Shrug.”

- “Contradictions do not exist”. “Whenever you think that you are facing a contradiction, check your premises”. “You will find that one of them is wrong”

- The good, say the mystics of spirit, is God, a being whose only definition is that he is beyond man’s power to conceive- a definition that invalidates man’s consciousness and nullifies his concepts of existence. Man’s mind, say the mystics of spirit, must be subordinated to the will of God. Man’s standard of value, say the mystics of spirit, is the pleasure of God, whose standards are beyond man’s power of comprehension and must be accepted on faith. The purpose of man’s life is to become an abject zombie who serves a purpose he does not know, for reasons he is not to question.

- So you think that money is the root of all evil? Have you ever asked what is the root of money? Money is a tool of exchange, which can’t exist unless there are goods produced and men able to produce them. Money is the material shape of the principle that men who wish to deal with one another must deal by trade and give value for value. Money is not the tool of the moochers, who claim your product by tears or of the looters, who take it from you by force. Money is made possible only by the men who produce. Is this what you consider evil?

This book is long, 1000+ pages and not for the faint of heart but REALLY GOOD. I do not agree 100% with the philosophy of it but I highly recommend you read it.

I shrug and give it a two thumbs up

For more book reviews go here.

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Holy Cow 10 years

Tomorrow marks baba 7akis and my 10 year wedding anniversary.

Holy Cow man … 10 years!!!! I can’t believe it.

He’s so cute. About 2 weeks ago he comes in our room and asks me, out of the blue : where is that promise bracelet I bought you when we first started dating?

7aki: It’s in the Jewelry box.

Baba 7aki: Can I see it?

Now I am starting to feel suspicious, because I have had it for 12 years and he never asked me to see it.

7aki (I dig it out of the jewelry box): alright, here it is.

Baba 7aki: Cool, what else do you have in there (he starts rummaging through my jewelry box)

Ok at that point I thought, the jig is up. He is going to buy me diamonds or something for our 10th year wedding anniversary.

Baba 7aki is soooooooo funny, he can never surprise me because he is soooo obvious, HAHAHAHA. Like seriously?! show me the promise bracelet, like DUH. LOL.

So after 10 minutes I send little 7aki down to ask him , so what are you going to buy mama for your 10th wedding anniversary?And I told her, don’t tell your dad I sent you. After she asks him he asked her if I sent her and she said yes! WTH man!!! I just told her not to tell him, hehehehe. I should not send a 6 year old to lie for me cos SHE SUCKS AT LYING. So he sent her back to tell me to mind my own business.

So I told baba 7aki: I do not want a thousand or more dollar gift that is diamonds, I just want an IPad, maybe a watch.

Baba 7aki: But an IPad is not romantic! It’s like a birthday gift, not a 10 year anniversary gift!

7aki: But what am I going to do with jewelery? Tab get me an expensive watch instead of diamonds.

Baba 7aki: NO. I want to show off OK.

7aki: LOL. AHAAAA, GOT IT. It’s not about me, it’s about you showing off. TOO FUNNY.

Baba 7aki: Mind your own buinsess.

7aki: tab what should I get you? You are impossible to buy for.

Baba 7aki: I want nothing

7aki: I have a great idea! You Can buy me the diamonds and I will buy you an IPad!!!!!!

Baba 7aki: HAHAHAHAHA. You are such a loser.

So I have been nagging him for the past 2 weeks to get me the IPad and to put a diamond screen saver on it. heh

How messed up is that? I think this would be the first time in the history of history that a wife tells her husband I do not want the diamonds and he insists on getting them. Crazy stuff man.

So tune in tomorrow to find out what I will get.

 

 

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