I hate making phone calls, I can only call people that I absolutely know they like me %100. I have no problem ordering food, or making work phone calls but tell me to call somebody who I know is not very sincere I’d rather die. It tears me apart and it takes soooo much effort from me to pick up the phone and make a phone call. Once I do it I am OK but it does not come to me easily, I have to plan it or talk myself into it.
It’s been like that since I was a teenager, I have no problem receiving a call, but thank God for caller ID, I can screen my calls, see who is calling, let it go to voice mail and see what they want, then it’s like, shit, they left a voice mail and I have to call them back, or even worse some people say , you didn’t see my missed call, why didn’t you call me back. People are relentless, there is no more privacy ever ever ever they are after you all the time, emotionally needy and I can’t handle it… gosh I am getting emotional here, and my heart is pounding fast just from the thought of it… breath in .. breath out… breath in… breath out.
I think it’s not knowing what to expect, to me I hate it because I never make phone calls, so when I decide to do it I have to spend like 5 minutes explaining to the person (depending on who it is) that oh I am busy, you know how life is, sorry about that, maybe we should keep in touch more. I think my case is so extreme because us Jordanians don’t just say, hey, it’s been a long time since you called, no, they will flat out say, “Sho , wain ma btihki , meen7 illi ismi3na sotek, mnee7 illi lissa hafzah il raqam ana fakkaret inik daia3ty ilraqam” and that seals the deal for me, I would never call that person ever again, even if it means I will lose them forever, isn’t this sad, I wouldn’t mind losing someone if it only meant I have to pick up the phone and call them….
So out of all my years only 2 true true friendships endured, those are the friends that will call me everyday and not mind the fact that I NEVER call them. I still have tons of acquaintances where it’s OK to give them a call lets say once every 2 months. Most probably it never develops into something more because I only call them once every million years…..
I blame it all on technology, damn you technology for making phone calls so cheap.
Anyhoo, a small glimpse to the emotionally imbalanced that is me!
Have a good one People.