The office slut

A bunch of us went out after work for a couple of drinks and we started talking about general stuff. The inevitable question came: “ How many people did you have sex with?” so people were like 1 or 2 or 6 …etc.etc.

One of my coworkers (which I will label as the office slut) said: “ I had sex with maybe 30 people, I can’t remember exactly”.

She is 30 years old and comes from a small town of 300 people. Another co-worker and I were amazed at how she was able to bag 30 people, which constitutes 10% of the population of her town.

After long analysis we came up with this formula:

Population ___________ 300.0
Males (50%) __________150.0
Age 18-54 (29.1%)_______43.7
Hetersexual (95%)_______41.5
Relative (5%) __________39.4
Impotent (2%)__________38.6
Ugly (25%)____________29.0

The table above shows how she started with a population of 300 people which are half male , bringing down the baggable population to 150.

Out of the 150 in her town there are 29.1% that are between the ages of 18-54 (according to stats Canada) so that leaves 43.7 out of the 150 that she can bag.

We are assuming that 5% of the 43.7 are gay so that leaves her with 41.5 people.

Most probably she is related to 5% so that leaves her with 39.4 people

2 % impotent that leaves her with 38.6

And o f course she is shallow so we removed 25% due to the ugly factor

That left her with 29 people that she could bag in her town.

That left 1 person unaccounted for so we are assuming that she dabbled in the Relative pool.

Goes to show you how busy we are at work today.

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15 Responses

  1. Dude if she is from the south of the US you can include her own family and people between 5-100 years old..hahaha have you seen the family guy episode where they move to the south…

  2. Dude if only you had a brain you would figure out that she is from canada, unless 7aki fadi is really stupid and is applying stats from canada to a girl from the south, no offence 7aki fadi I know you are not.

  3. HEHEHEH LOL !!! this is so funny

    I think the 1 you missed is “Rounding Error”

    Or maybe she was too drunk to notice that he’s ugly 🙂

  4. balfoot I think My brains are big enough for a Ph.D but maybe I missed two words while I was reading, so if you are from texas don’t be offended, and my comment was to 7aki fadi not you..so chill out and drink some ‘cool aid’.

  5. maybe she tried it with a girl once !!!! with a girl like her … that’s not unlikley …

    and Thank God she didn’t life in Toronto or sth … cuz you would of needed an accounting firm for that .. 🙂

  6. LOL…I love how you put the time and effort and analyzed her situation..but you did forget one factor..she must have met other people on her travels..or even school field trips..so this widens her scope a little..

    That was funny!

  7. Hehehehe, she must be so attractive to be able to sleep with all those men!

  8. you should not have included the age group 18-54, the 30 men could be outside this group, totally

  9. that is funny … i liked your analytical approach. but still you need to plot your data in graph to show that the probability that each and evry heterosexual adult man living in the town has slept at least once with her will be equal to (1)

  10. Muhannad: I own all seasons of family guy :), that episode was hilarious (and disturbing at the same time)

    Balfoot: no offence taken

    Qwaider: we actually think that she bagged a relative not an ugly guy, but we could be wrong 🙂

    Isam: no no, she would not do a girl. Apparently the idea is repulsing to her; that’s where she draws the line :).

    Salam: that is possible, but we assumed the majority would be in her small town because she only moved to Toronto 2 years ago with her boyfriend and she is a faithful person, maybe a slut but faithful :).

    The observer: well, she is not really THAT attractive, don’t forget, small town, not a lot of options :).

    Hareega: True true since she lost her virginity at the tender age of 14.

    Ozz: maybe you can help me with that, this is as far as my statistical skills go (I failed the statistics course in University, had to repeat it and then begged the professor to pass me because I had to graduate)

  11. LOL well, she can’t be from the south, cause she wouldn’t be able to figure out these percentages 🙂

  12. It’s very unethical and most unprofessional to speak about your co-workers in this manner and over the web.

  13. anon: why don’t you report me to HR .. HA HA HA HA

  14. Haha that was hilarious! I love how you put the time and effort into it 🙂 But you know 30 people at the age of 30 is nothing compared to a girl that I go to uni with who claims shes had 130 partners. Shes 19 and started when she was 14. Try analyzing that one!

  15. Wow, she had 36 partners a year. Which is 3 partners a month.

    INSANE.

    This elevates her from Slut to prostitute/whore. LOL

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