Phases you go through when you leave Jordan

Phase 1: Hate

Hating every second of the new country because they do everything differently and no matter how bad Jordan is you feel it does it better be it the food, the waiting in line, going out and having fun etc etc..

You want to go home, you just can’t stand it there and can’t wait to visit Amman.

This phase usually lasts for at least a year.

Phase 2: Naiveté

After you get used to doing everything differently you start loving the freedom in the new country to say whatever and do whatever. You start looking around you and seeing all the different religions and cultures and you wonder and ask yourself “Is Islam the right religion for me?” Type questions. And so on and so forth.

You feel you are equal to everybody there and that everybody loves you.

You still can’t grasp the sense of humour in the new place so you are trying hard to understand everything that’s going around you.

During this phase you visit Jordan and you go: what was I smoking when I said Jordan is better, I take it back, I wish Jordan was half of what this country is. The smoking everywhere the annoying traditions I have to go through etc etc.

This phase lasts for at least 2 – 3 years

Phase 3: Realization – Hate

Realising that Jordan IS good, the people are what make it and you love it because you are kind of truly equal there now you know that the new country you live in hates immigrants (in secret) unless you are westernised and you drink wine and you go clubbing and you conform to there traditions because once you stray from that you will not be treated equally (it’s very subtle though to be labelled racism).

The difference though here is you are protected by the law if anybody decided to treat you differently.

Maybe this lasts for a year.

Phase 4: Acceptance

Now you accept Jordan and the new country and you kind of balance yourself and love what deserves to be loved in both and really judge things without being biased to either.

I am in phase 4.

I will see if there will be more phases. Maybe when I get older I will revert to phase 1 again, who knows.

What do you think?

Update:

Qwaider added some phases that I thought too good not to include so after reading his phases I am at phase 5 really and not 4

Phase 5: Longing

Longing to the good old times in Jordan. And that’s what you do while interacting through your blog. You feel that you still have a foot step in Jordan while you’re still in exile…

Phase 6: Determining to go back

In this phase everything you do is for the effort to go back in x amount of years. Might end up in any number of phases above

Phase 7: Actually going back

You finally do it … and make it back to Jordan

Optional Phases:

Phase 8:
You go back, Hate everything and pack up and go back to the US and land in Phase 2

Phase 9:
You go back … and you hate everything, you don’t decide to return to the US but live in phase HATE THE WORLD for the rest of your life

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14 Responses

  1. You remind of my study- I am doing a Ph.D- I look into change managment and culture, which is exaclty what you are talking about.there is a frame work called the ADKAR(Awareness, desire, knowledge, ability and re-inforcment) those pahses are the one that we go through when we face change-or at least what we should go through- now about the phases, I haven’t gone through the first phase or I can say it lasted a week or so..The second phase: I love the freedom, I looked around and became more sure that islam is the true relegion-there was some time in jordan that I didn’t- I never said that jordan is not good, I love jordan, I love amman, I love salt and most of all I love my people there. I would say I never went through this phase.

    Third phase: The second I arrived I noticed the hatred for immigrants though I am not one, I am not planning to stay here; I just came here to study, Maybe no one says it loud but america is the most racist country on the planet(not generalizing)

    I would say this pahse lasted 1 year.

    Fourth phase:

    I accepted the change the moment I came to this country..I was mentally ready for it..

    So I am not phase 2, maybe I am more phase 5:)

  2. Well it’s different when you know you will go back so you don’t really care.

    But when you live here and work here and start a family here it’s very different.

    About hating Amman, don’t you hate some thing’s about Amman? Like how people are so nosy? How they smoke everywhere, how people get in your business all the time, how you have to do things a certain way so not to offend people, etc etc, Socially Jordan has some things they can work on.

    I guess you accelerated through these phases 🙂

  3. Those things are exaclty what I like about jordan:)
    I makes your life fun, you have more action, you don’t become like a machine-which I think you become one in the US-you always face the unexpected in amman:)

    By the way my MBTI is INTJ..This would help you understand me.

  4. Tell me about being a machine, people in Ontario are like machines; you work you go home you start all over…. it’s crazy.

    It’s funny because my friends from Nova Scotia or Quebec are so laid back and like to have fun like most Ammines and Europeans.

    North Americans don’t know how to have fun.

  5. I’m stil in phase one…and you described it really well…and everyone around me is telling me that I will go thru phase # 2, and how later on I’ll just start feeling more comfortable over here and I don’t want that!! I mean it’s just so scary…I just don’t want to love and prefer living here…I want time to run so fast and go back home as soon as possible!

  6. There’s phase 5, longing to the good old times in Jordan. And that’s what you do while interacting through your blog. You feel that you still have a foot step in Jordan while you’re still in exile…
    Phase 6: Determining to go back
    In this phase everything you do is for the effor to go back in x amount of years. Might end up in any number of phases above
    Phase 7: Actually going back
    You finally do it … and make it back to Jordan
    Optional Phases:
    Phase 8:
    You go back, Hate everything and pack up and go back to the US and land in Phase 2
    Phase 9:
    You go back … and you hate everything, you don’t decide to return to the US but live in phase HATE THE WORLD for the rest of your life

  7. Phase 10,we die.

  8. well hmm nice !
    jumped phase 1, go to phase two.
    Tho since i didn’t like amman or the place i was at I was just enjoying the change of pace (2 year)
    and i really didn’t feel equal to anyone, shit that was 9/11 by then hehehe

    Phase 3:
    Once you know the mix of people to associate with things get better, stick with the minorities they tend to be more fun, more honest, and single faced.
    Bitch about whites every now and then, and crack some redneck jokes infront of them (sister jokes work better than mamma jokes )

    Phase 4:hate Amman big time, hate the US big time. family here family there. don’t wanna stay here, feel obliged to go back and do something good back here *no use of the word home*

    Phase 5: go back realize that Jordan became more shitty than you already thought it is. Still you suck it up and try things out.
    You achieve some success and you are proud about it.

    Phase 6: card house crumbles down, you feel like an alien at home and realize that this is a waste of time, atleast there you were driven to do something but here you are just idling around.
    So you rinse and recycle the process in another country
    Tho now you are firmly grounded that Jordan is not home, its just home happens to be in Jordan

    😀
    hehe this was fun.
    thanks for the inspiration
    ENJOY
    ps. not sure about Ontario but it can’t be worse than Detroit trust me!

  9. i dont know but i didnt have these phases … i adapt to changes very fast … but … I think i should go back to jordan bcuz its really a life there with all the challanges … and keep wishing if i do i would have as much money as here … which is 1000% impossible …

  10. Qwaider: Oh my God I think I am in phase 5 (but it’s all an illusion though no? the longing) because I am happy here and if I go back I will hate it.

    And oh most probably I will be poor too in Amman 🙂

    Good stuff Qwaider I love your additions with your permission I want to add them (I will of course say that they are you contribution)

    Hamede: We all do eventually

    No_Angel: yah, it’s tough because you don’t feel at home in neither after a while, didn’t think about that.

    Well Ontario is not too bad I have to admit. I hang out with the following:
    1 white (as white can be, 8th generation)
    1 Indian
    1 first generation Scot (so kinda white)
    1 native/ French / a hundred other things
    1 from Trinidad
    1 French Canadian
    and me

    So it’s diverse and we make so much fun of each other. Lets say if you are sensitive then you should not hang out with us :). It’s fun.

    Isam: it’s all about the money, if I can make as half (no a quarter) as I make here I would not hesitate to go back. But now it’s harder I have the husband the daughter…. It gets harder and harder to leave.

  11. i have loved canada the minute i came here..so i didnt go through any phases..but of course coming from lebanon the way it was 20yrs ago..u have no choice but..although my dad hated canada and he is the reason we hated being in lebanon since he complained about it so much…but he has been complaining about canada for the past 20yr so i guess some people are never happy wherever they are!
    anyways…now my husband he is through one of those phases…i can not figure it yet…i’ll have to look into it..i’ll blog about it one day:)

  12. Sam: But you left when you were so young you were still excited and stuff, Canada is the BEST place for children, I am really happy that my daughter gets to grow up here.

    Your dad is at hate the world forever phase.

  13. So true, but seems I am skipping phase 3, I am in transient from 2 to 4.

    By the way you made me look idiot, when I read ” what was I smoking when I said Jordan is better, I take it back” I could not help laughing loudly and it kept coming back and back. And to complete the scene I read the 7afartaleih post just after that.

  14. Fadi malian: I am glad I made you laugh, people are too seriuos man.

    This blog is my escape, I am really miserable in real life HA HA HA

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