• What’s 7aki Fadi all about?

    I am going to tell you a lot of things but at the end of the day it's all 7aki Fadi (empty talk , حكي فاضي), most probably somebody out there already said it.
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NEW RULES

This is funny. A forward I got a while back.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t make you spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to “beef with broccoli.” The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant. You’re not spiritual. You’re just high.

New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can’t even tell if he’s supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don’t want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to know in months. “27 Months.” “He’s two,” will do just fine. He’s not a cheese. And I didn’t really care in the first place.

New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy’s chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you’re a dope. If you’re a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. But if you’re a grown man, they’re pictures of men

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here’s how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we’re done.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it’s for babies and new homes and graduations, and releases from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn’t gift giving, it’s the white people version of looting.

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: There’s no such thing as flavored water. There’s a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry,but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pours ome scotch over ice and let it melt. That’s your flavored water

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole.If you walk into a Starbucks and order a “decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one sweet-n’-Low, and one NutraSweet,” ooh, you’re a huge asshole!

New Rule: If you’re going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what’s playing on the other screens. Let’s remember: the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn’t good enough to be a movie

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God’s sake don’t pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying” Do you want fries with that?”

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8 Responses

  1. Good rules!! I really don’t like it when they give ages in months too! it’s so confusing, I give the calculations ONE try, if it didn’t work out fast for me, I don’t do it again! I really don’t care! hehe…
    I loved the one about eyebrows!! ta7sheeeesh…but is it really true!??!?!

  2. These are mostly Bill Maher New Rules. You have to catch him on Friday Night on HBO. He has a section called “New Rules” at the end of his show!

    I love his new rules 🙂

    If you don’t know who Bill Maher is… check this out:To Eternal bracers and Save Dibbiners

    Besides, he’s the only person (I know) who lost his job due to 9/11. Just for saying: “We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That’s cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it’s not cowardly.”

  3. Ya the baby one: “Are they cheese?”.

    well the eyebrow one, they said you need 2 so … did you get it? As long as you don’t have a uni-brow they are ok..lol.. hilarious.

  4. Q: yah I love Bill Maher but haven’t watched him for AGES.
    I remember the whole firing him thing.

    This Friday I will make sure I catch it since Friday night TV, in general, sucks.

  5. Totally love this list! Very true!

  6. LOL, this is so true and hilarious. Bill Maher is a genius, I particularly like one of his old quote: “Suicide is a man’s way of saying to God “you can’t fire me, I quit!”.

  7. amazing list. I’ll think I’ll post it somewhere.

    I am gonna start watching this Bill Maher guy..hehehehe

  8. KJ, Hamza: Glad you enjoyed it!

    whosane: LOL , that’s hilarious.

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