Just keep me posted if I feel better
Keep me posted if I will start tasting again
Keep me posted if I start seeing again
if I smile from within
if I feel ….But how if you don’t know how I feel?
Can you teach me how to be a better person?
Can you teach me how not to betray humans?
I feel helpless and sad, bored,
there is no meaning to everything around me,
it’s all just dim and looks weird.
Can you teach me to have a stronger will?
I have been forwarded and suddenly paused, with none than those hands of mine.
I hate my hands, I hate my brains, I hate myself
Today I was watching something on TV and I want to be unreal for a while , live in a different persons body .
My stomach is full but with no food in it.
I am writing now but not a single muscle in my body is moving but those fingers planted on my hand that I hate.
My eyes are gazing away , I feel numb and empty.
The world is a demanding place isn’t it?
My back is tired so I am curled on my seat and my hands rest next to my feet, but still not a single muscle is moving.
If you don’t move for a long period and all of sudden you wanted to, will you still remember how?
-I found this while leafing through my old diary dated 8/21/2000, sorry for the deppressing post. I just wish I can come out of my skin. I need a break.
Filed under: Have no clue how to categorize this |