Screams of the butterfly…

They say you look you don’t see it is so right, but if you don’t look you don’t see also…….Weird I thought it’s one or the other? Then it has to be look but don’t let anyone see….I guess…

Sadness, frustration and finally giving up, but on what?

Does it have to be life itself?
Or simply high standards?
I can’t …

Broken dreams..

You know what? It’s always the wrong person at the right time or the right person at the wrong time..

DON’T SPEAK…
That’s my problem…I’m a blabber mouth.

I misunderstand, or am I misunderstood?
Both ways, I’m sad.

Is my soul being sucked out of my body, emptying my heart?
a void stands there now, if you talk to it, you will only hear the echo of your voice.
What to do?
Should you resign from talking to it?
Actually I’m not asking you a question; I am stating a fact….

Vacuum is abusing me, it’s sucking the life out of me, atom by atom..

I’m sad.

Can you fill a void?
Make it blossom with beautiful flowers, a garden that smells so heavenly.
I have the seeds; it’s the water I lack…
…..The butterflies are dying…..
No they are getting old
Living more than they should, more than they’re supposed to
To live one day in heaven.
But they are getting really really old
They are crying,
My heart is so heavy; it’s bleeding tears of butterflies…
It’s so strong, it’s chocking me, I can’t breath.
I will burn you

I am so sad….

Is it wrong to ask why?
Is it wrong to hate fate?
Is it wrong to lose hope?

I have tow brains, one in my head the other in my heart.
I want to stab my brain.

Am I one person with two heads or two people with one body?
I can call myself the wrong person at the wrong time..
I feel as if my soul is cramped up in my heart.

I’m so sad….

You know what…I need a rock to fill the void not flowers

-Dated May 10, 2000

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4 Responses

  1. *sits on the psychiatrist’s chair and reading one of Freud’s books*

    SOOO, tell me more about your childhood. Have you ever been molested when you were a kid?

  2. Hamza: LOL.
    7aki on the couch: When I was 9 I went to buy ice-cream and then halfway home the scoop fell and I couldn’t buy another one cos i didn’t have any more money :(…he he he

  3. *notes down*

    Year 2000, “time” off by 13 days. *calculates*. Each year it progresses by 2 days. Interesting.

    *goes to empathetic mode*

    I got a lot of similar notes in my notebook. It is funny especially when you would be feeling well the whole day, then, when the night comes, and you sit alone with your notebook, you just flip.

  4. LOL KJ.
    I flip indeed…ha ha ha.

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