I was talking to a friend today and we got talking about the topper syndrome.
A topper is person who has done everything you did but bigger and better.
If you have eaten some food the topper is guaranteed to have eaten the same thing but, better tasting, bigger portion, cheaper , 10 years ago before the dish was even invented!
If you have worked at a job the topper is guaranteed to have done the exact same job but faster, got paid more and was awarded the award of excellence.
If you were sick and stayed at home the topper is guaranteed to have gotten a worse disease that was deadly, rare and they almost saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
We have a topper at work, she even tops you if you get sick, we have a poor lady at work who her husband got cancer so the topper said: I had bone cancer 5 years ago!!! OMG I wanted to like kill her
There’s also a guy topper I know, he tops you in everything, you say: “I finished this task” he will say, “hahaha, I did it ten years ago and in half the time.” I even sometimes say feminine things so he like doesn’t top me like i would say : “I made the best mlukhieh” he would say: ” My mlukhieh is the best in the world” and anything I did in terms of ANYTHING he always tops me! But I have a plan, next time he tries to top me this is how it will go:
7aki: Look what I got, isn’t this IPhone amazing? ( yes I will get it dammit)
Topper: yeah. I got it in May as a special promotion (it comes out on June 28). How much did you pay for it?
7aki: I got it for a great deal, like 200 dollars off!
Topper: Really? I got it for free (he has a smirk on his face and I wanna punch him)
7aki: Cool, look at this nice cover I got for it.
Topper: yeah I have 10 covers. All free.
7aki changing the subject because topper is in danger of being strangled: So yesterday we went bike riding it was really nice.
Topper: you did? Wow, I did that too??!!! It was part of a triathlon I ran.
7aki: wow amazing. I would love to do that one day.
Topper: so how did you enjoy this book?
7aki: it was great. Quick read! I read it in 2 days!
Topper: really? I read it in 1 hour!
7aki: Well I have big boobs… so top that BITCH …
You think it would work? LOL
It is 1:10 at night and I had a cup of coffee and brownies an hour ago ( chocolate chunk brownies I made … yuuuumm) and my eyes are as big as saucers right now…what was I thinking as I stuffed those brownies in my face that late???