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    I am going to tell you a lot of things but at the end of the day it's all 7aki Fadi (empty talk , حكي فاضي), most probably somebody out there already said it.
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The Topper Syndrome

I was talking to a friend today and we got talking about the topper syndrome.

A topper is person who has done everything you did but bigger and better.

If you have eaten some food the topper is guaranteed to have eaten the same thing but, better tasting, bigger portion, cheaper , 10 years ago before the dish was even invented!

If you have worked at a job the topper is guaranteed to have done the exact same job but faster, got paid more and was awarded the award of excellence.

If you were sick and stayed at home the topper is guaranteed to have gotten a worse disease that was deadly, rare and they almost saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

We have a topper at work, she even tops you if you get sick, we have a poor lady at work who her husband got cancer so the topper said: I had bone cancer 5 years ago!!! OMG I wanted to like kill her

There’s also a guy topper I know, he tops you in everything, you say: “I finished this task” he will say, “hahaha, I did it ten years ago and in half the time.” I even sometimes say feminine things so he like doesn’t top me like i would say : “I made the best mlukhieh” he would say: ” My mlukhieh is the best in the world” and anything I did in terms of ANYTHING he always tops me! But I have a plan, next time he tries to top me this is how it will go:

7aki: Look what I got, isn’t this IPhone amazing? ( yes I will get it dammit)

Topper: yeah. I got it in May as a special promotion (it comes out on June 28). How much did you pay for it?

7aki: I got it for a great deal, like 200 dollars off!

Topper: Really? I got it for free (he has a smirk on his face and I wanna punch him)

7aki: Cool, look at this nice cover I got for it.

Topper: yeah I have 10 covers. All free.

7aki changing the subject because topper is in danger of being strangled: So yesterday we went bike riding it was really nice.

Topper: you did? Wow, I did that too??!!! It was part of a triathlon I ran.

7aki: wow amazing. I would love to do that one day.

Awkward silence

Topper: so how did you enjoy this book?

7aki: it was great. Quick read! I read it in 2 days!

Topper: really? I read it in 1 hour!

7aki: Well I have big boobs… so top that BITCH …

You think it would work? LOL

It is 1:10 at night and I had a cup of coffee and brownies an hour ago ( chocolate chunk brownies I made … yuuuumm) and my eyes are as big as saucers right now…what was I thinking as I stuffed those brownies in my face that late???

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21 Responses

  1. Hi, i loved the post! 🙂
    you can always say, Who asked you?? LOL that’s too mean

  2. first of all …

    7AKI HAS GOT SPAM … 7AKI HAS GOT SPAM … NANA NANANNAAAAAAAAA

    2nd … he can always say … oh my wife/gf has bigger boobs 😛 or even tell that 10 years ago … he dated a 42DD 😛 (thats supposed to be huge sa7 ?)

    u want advice … give him the face … u know that face with no expressions what so ever ?? he will feel like a zero …

    or start a trend were less is cool … and his mind will split in two pieces 😛

    Ph. D Isam , Senior Toppologist

  3. This “topper” seems to exist everywhere. I know someone always doing stuff like that. And these types are usually dumb that they “top” with no logic, and they find themselves enforced to lie stupidly sometimes to justify their silly “topping”. For example, Me: last night I watched “I am Sam” for the third time in my life, my topper: I did 5 times. Me: really? But I was bored and had nothing to do .. it’s not that I admire the movie itself. T: was it on TV? Me: yes. T: I watched it in the cinema, Me: when?, T: 2 days ago!, me: but it’s an old one how come they still have it in the cinema? T (after awhile): it was during the “old movies week” in the cinema!
    Me (later): I’m going home now I have a presentation tomorrow and I got to prepare the slides, T: lets have some coffee now, you can do that in less than half an hour. Me: yah but i need to make sure it will be well done, because the attendance is at high level, the client is a very big industrial company and the vice president will come. Him: good you reminded me, I have a presentation too. (I expected him to say that the prime minister is coming but thanks God he only topped by one step over the vice president) T: and the president of the client company will attend!. and once there was a classical guitar piece on the radio, he commented that it’s a very beautiful piece, I said: ya I play it on guitar, it’s not easy it took me about 2 months to play it good except for the last part because the ink on the notes sheet was not clear so I skipped that part. ( he spent a minute silent because he doesn’t play guitar, and I thought he didn’t hear me at the first place) then he said: my friend plays it to the end perfectly, it took him something like a week!

    BY THE WAY; does it make me topper that i wrote this this story as a comment on yours?

  4. loooooooool. I like their nickname..”toppers”

    I like doing activities with toppers, because it shows how bad they suck, even if they use excuses like “I went easy on you” or “I am injured” etc. It just boosts my self-satisfaction.

    and loool @ Isam. Its soo true

  5. LOL 7aki! Toppers drive me crazy!! They can even be found on the blogosphere, lol!

  6. 7aki, nobody can top you when it comes to hilarious posts. I am rolling. 😀

  7. Before 10 years I have met a more-annoying topper.

  8. o im sure he will top the boob thing…dont even go there…he will probably say o yeh, well i have a big you know what..top that..:o) just ignore him, as well as the cancer lady..they are not worth anyone’s time:)

  9. oh yeah? well I know a topper who tops your topper 😛

  10. loool very funny!!

    but isnt it good to have a topper in work? maybe that would make work more challenging..

  11. Wonders: lol, GREAT idea! I might try it.

    Isam: about the spam, I DID! For the first time!…hehehe, I am important now..lol

    HAHAHAHAHA soooo true, but he is single so I guess he won’t say that. Now for the face I can see me saying something and him topping it and I would give him the face and say “And”…hehehehe.

    Ozz: lol @”does it make me topper that i wrote this this story as a comment on yours?” HAHAHAHAHA…I guess so …hehehe

    And those people who always know someone who is like king of the hill are annoying too :S they even top you through other people.

    Hamaza: WOW. Hamza now THAT is a great idea

    whosane: Don’t get me started on the blogsphere toppers :EVIL LOOK:

    Kinzi: hehehe..glad you liked it.

    Ahmad: HAHAHAHAHA

    Sam: LOL LOL … imagine? I would die….ewwwwwww

    whosane: please do tell :p, my topper is untoppable

    Maher: Man, toppers are annoying in any environment.

  12. they can be soooooooo annoying , ya3ni everything you say they’re like “ya i did that” but there’s nothing better than catching one of them lying , like last week i was talking to this friend online and here’s how it went :

    HIM: so what are you doing online this late .

    ME: nothing , just watching some led zeppelin videos on youtube .

    HIM: ya i love those guys , i saw them live last year in canada in this huge rock fest. with deep purple and alot of other rock bands.

    ME:hmm , are you sure.

    HIM:ya they were great.

    ME:hmm, dude , led zeppelin split like 27 years ago.

    *after like 2 min of silence*

    HIM: hmm , did i say led zeppelin , i meant to say it was a led zeppelin cover band

  13. You see, 7aki, you are only feeding your ego. They live by other people trying to top them. They always have something ready to say.

    All you need to do is ignore them. It will really put them down. Don’t acknowledge the fact that they topped you. In fact you can even say in as genuine a manner as you can, “Oh I am truly happy for you that you survived bleeding for seven days of every month and not dying”.

    They just want to piss you off. If you don’t get pissed, they’ll victimize someone else.

  14. LOOOOOOOOOL!

    That was hilarious!

    I can’t stop laughing!

    Thanks 7aki 🙂

  15. LOOOOL he’ll probably say 10 years ago I had bigger boobs but after the surgery I removed them and now I have bigger testies 🙂

  16. ma7joob: lol, funny story, I LOVE to corner them when they lie or exaggerate, it’s a hobby of mine!

    KJ : but they annoy me and I can’t help it … lol … Well I don’t talk to the guy because of that anyway .. hehehe

    Observer: you are welcome 🙂

    elijah : LOL … da7akteeny. Well it could be true you know, he likes shopping and cooking hehehehe so I would not eliminate the possibility

  17. o no 7aki the iphone will not come to canada any time soon…i got so sad for you when i read about it…by the time i get around to getting one, it will cost $30 hahaha..

  18. Sam: IIIIIII KNOOOOOWWWWWWWWW. 😦 But it’s cool I can wait :), not really dying for one, really.

  19. cracked me up royally!
    good stuff

  20. LOL – I LOVE THIS..esp the last part…

  21. […] Topper didn’t come to work today because………..<spinning the wheel of excuses, where she stops nobody knows>……. “Her cat had to have emergency surgery” […]

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