I just wasn’t "feelin’ it" this morning.

One of the people I work with rarely makes an appearance at work to the point that(because we are a bunch of crazy employees that are really REALLY bored ) our dear William (who is not a nerd by the way as I was kindly corrected after this post hehehehe. William, we love you man!) created a sheet to keep track of her attendance .

This workbook has trends by day of the week , by week and by month. As is stands she is at 51% attendance now…meaning she came to work only 51% of the time!

Last week Bob, William and I placed bets if she was coming in to work today (Monday) or not. Based on the Monday trend I thought she would come in and I lost the bet :(.

We also used to make bets on what the excuse would be if she didn’t come in.

Some of her excuses:
1) I was helping the mover’s move my TV and it fell on my Toe and they insisted I go to the hospital and check it!! (why would you hire movers and then help them move?)
2) I was driving to work but there was too much traffic so I turned around and went back home…(LOL.. FOR REAL???? like OMG, hmm, traffic what a rare occurence..hehehe and funny enough William comes from the same direction and he made it to work no problem.)
3) I have a staff infection (Ewwwwwwwww)
4) I have kidney stones
5) I have gallbladder stones. ( can sotnes grow there?)
6) I hit my car.
7) My Son hit his car and I had to give him my car
8 ) My Son hit my car
9) Our basement is flooded
10) My house was on fire
11) My dog shit all over the house and I had to clean up …(LOL LOL I SWEAR TO GOD)
12) I have a migraine (that’s the most recurring one)
13) I will be working from home, and then after an hour, oh sorry you couldn’t reach me but we had a fire alarm at the building and I had to go down stairs for 2 hours and I didn’t have my cell phone on me so I couldn’t conference in the meeting
14) I am working from home but the electricity got cut off so I couldn’t be reached …LOL .. .LOL…

And the list goes on and on and on. And I swear I am not making any of this up!

The excuses are soooo absurd that we think she is the most unlucky person in the Universe or she is writing a book about the most outrageous excuses she got away with .. lol..

So what do you think? Is she unlucky or is she BRILLIANT?

Click here for 10 Craziest Excuses for Being Late my favourite ones 1,5 and 10

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18 Responses

  1. why the hell is she still working?? when i was pregnant i had to take 10 days off during those first few months because i did not feel like puking at work…and i still got the look from my boss..he may have been just checking me out…(i do look very cute while pregnant..ah who am i kidding im always cute..ok nuff about me)…now i lost my point sorry…
    you guys have way too much time on your hands! dont u ever do actual work? i wanna come work where u work!

  2. this post reminded me of an Indian professor in our college who was talking to the med students “you Americans are very soft, you fake a flu so you won’t come to work. In India we used to fake Malaria” 🙂

  3. Some people are unbelievable!!! seriously, why is she still working there??? I think she is brilliant, but I dont get how your boss hasn’t fired her!

  4. Wala ehsi 😀 …. Breialnt meen??? LOOOOOOL this lady is something…
    3ala fekra, wherever u go there is exactly someone like your koko friend 😀
    I mean come on 51% of the time?? M’3albeh 7alha walahi jad jay 3ala nafs.ha kteer LOOOOOOOOOL, and guess what?? When you ask for a day off.. they would look at you like “HIW DARE YOU?” hadi a5ret elnas elli betroo7 3ale el dawam kol youm 😀

  5. wow..and I thought the excuse of being strangled by my tie is absurd. 😦

    Please let me know what would her boss say if she asks for her “annual leave”

    hehehe

  6. I think her brilliance is relative. The people around her are just too stupid and believe her excuses and that is why she gets away with it.

  7. LOOOOOL, 3njad loool, and loool 3ala Hareega’s prof.

    I think she is brilliant, that is if I had a boss like yours, I would do the same (maybe worse) 😀

    7aki, you should consider doing the same. 😉

  8. number 8 is my fave tho lol!

    we had this marketing girl in my previous job, who barely shows her face around (3a asas inno working marketing related stuff barra il maktab, like rrright!) fa whenever she comes to the office the CEO wud be like ‘thank you for coming!’ as if she is doing him a favor! lol

  9. making up excueses that force the boss to believe is a brilliant job .. she’s brilliant i guess, another way for not being recorded late is manipulating the attendance system. i used, for example, to start working at 10 am every day for months. the factory used a hand recognition system and the IT administrator is my friend, so i change my entry in the database manually every day to 8:00 am … until the damn security wrote a memo to the boss, since then i’m the only one who sign on a paper in the secretary office.

  10. lol…good i come up with better execusses when i need to..lol…i may give her some lesseons if she wishes…

  11. WOW she’s brilliant!! I wonder if I can use some of those!!

  12. Sam: The bosses feel sorry for her because they think that ; poor her she is going through sooo much…

    And the cute rant..lol…ta7sheesh…

    Hareega: hahahahahaha. I wonder what a Jordanian would site as a reason for missing work. .. I OD’d on Mansaf..lol, yes? No?

    Davagy: welcome! I have noooooooo clue how she still works here. As I said, the boss feels sorry for her Maybe?

    Mai: OMG exactly, her boss is different than my boss by the way , my boss I call him the vacation Nazi cos he does not approve ANY time off, there was this one time when he refused to give me 2 days after working late for 2 months and working on weekends!!!
    I call in sick since then.

    Hamza: lol, well why would she ask for a vacation? She is on constant vacation.

    KJ: HAHAHHAHHAHAHA you cracked me up. Your theory is very sound.
    Hey, I like the new hairdo 😉

    Ahmad: Her boss is not my boss :(. My boss is a vacation Nazi :(.

    Proudpali: yeah number 8 is funny 🙂

    Ozz: LOL Ozz, this is too funny!
    LOL 3anjad, so you go to the principal’s office everyday?

    Miss sea lover: yeah she definitely needs some lessons, but hey, if the boss believes those then I guess she maybe is good to go.

    Elijah: try using the kidney stones one, this at least gives you a week off then apparently you need to go once a week for 4 weeks to get rid of them, by laser or something.. lol…sheesh man!

  13. Hi 7aki! I cannot believe this woman is employed.

    What a hoot you must have at your office. I am giggling to think you are the face of Jordan to your co-workers, I wish there were more like you HERE!

  14. Kinzi: We can’t believe she is still employed either, I suspect (since we are all reading Potter) that there is a magic spell in effect.

    Nah. Our office is not as exciting as it may seem really. Well I guess William and Bob make it fun to come to work everyday :D. Us three are a lethal combination; nothing that can be remotely made fun of we let pass.

    And shucks Kinzi you always give me compliments you should stop so rasy ma yikbar. Wallahy innik 7abibty :).

  15. I think that is an expensive kind of sorry! :-S

  16. Oh yea! thanks for the welcome! 😀

  17. LOL, I had read this article in my “read the headlines and procrastinate” time of morning and thought it was hilarious… nothing compared to your coworkers excuses tho! WOW, I agree with previous comments, SHE is brilliant! LOOOL, I’ll have to keep some of those in mind when my boss reinstates his “8am” rule to everyone (happens about once every 4 or 5 months, then he forgets about it a few weeks later… hes due anytime now .. GULP).

  18. […] didn’t come to work today because………..<spinning the wheel of excuses, where she stops nobody knows>……. “Her cat had to have emergency […]

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