The Beginning of the end . . .

(A contribution by Bob)

7aki Fadi is now off the grid and is probably sipping a few adult beverages, soaking in the sun and regretting that she has left William and I in charge. I need to blog something because 7aki Fadi (crazie bssh!!) will declare a fatwa on me, if l don’t, so here are some random musings:

Laugh Track
There is a guy at work that ends all his sentences with a laugh. You can have a conversation with this guy on any topic (death, famine, poverty etc) and he will laugh at the end of each sentence he speaks. Its usually a short nervous laugh but a laugh nonetheless. I’m thinking we should have a contest at work to see who CANNOT make him laugh. I bet no one would win. Sample dialogue:

Laugh guy: Hi Bob…hahahahaha
Bob: Hey, hows it going?
Laugh guy: I’m doing good…hahahaha. I saw “Leaving Las Vegas” on the weekend…hahahah. It was sad…hahahaha
Bob: Wasn’t that a depressing movie?
Laugh guy: Yeah it was….hahaha. Did l give the impression it wasn’t…hahaha
Bob: No.

Door-man
I was walk into the building at work, when l had the usual dilemma: Is the person behind me far back enough that l’m not expected to hold the door or are they close enough that l have to wait? I never know what to do. l’m probably the only person in the world who stress level increases when they see a door. I now find myself speed walking to the door so that l have created enough distance, and l don’t feel guiltu about not holding the door.

Keeping minutes losing hours
On the minutes a recent meeting l attended, I noticed that my name appeared second-last in the list of attendees. The list of attendees wasn’t alphabetical, by height or by any other discernible measure. That means that the person typing the minutes consciously thought of me second last. Why does that bother me? And should I feel superior to the person who was last?

Perception is nine tenths of the law
Last Satuday was beautiful. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and l was relaxing on the couch. In my wife’s eyes, this means we are NOT doing “something” and we have to do “something”. So we pack up and go to the park to have a picnic, where l proceed to do exactly the same – l laid on my picnic blanket the whole afternoon. Yet my wife now thinks we are doing ‘something”. Go figure.

Meet Joe Black
William has already posted about the exploits of Joe Black, but l just want to added my own comments. Joe now rides his bike to work everyday, so when he arrives at work, he is sweaty and smelly and doesn’t shower – just changes his clothes. I’m waiting for Joe to call the bicycle store to ask for a full refund anyday now. Joe also asked a female coworker to help him shop of lingerie – and she agreed (crazie bssh).

Iron Man and Wonder Woman sick?

We have two colleagues who never miss work: over the past 2 years, “Iron Man” and “Wonder Woman” have called in sick for work exactly zero times (at least that’s what l remember). Yet this past week, Iron Man called in sick on Monday and Wonder Woman on Tuesday.
What are the odds? That’s like being struck by lightining twice or winning the lottery twice. I think the SuperFriends had big party weekend at the Hall of Justice and they had one too many tequila shots.Favourite Words
Michael Cuss
Ball Sweat
Chesticles
Fat f**k
Mofo
Man boobs
Zhang!

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8 Responses

  1. I think Iron Baby is on the way 😉

  2. one thought:
    Do you guys actually work or just keep track of colleagues’ attendance and habits?

    LOL @ “doing Something”

  3. LOL… the picnic thing is so true… and the door dillema is something I can relate to, hmmm the minutes (unbelievable)…

    great post…

    Just check the Door-man paragraph again first line third word…

  4. lol

    it seems that 7aki is not only good in writing but also good in choosing people who can write!

    You and william are both good. I enjoy reading about your hilarious colleagues and now feel like visiting you at work to check them out! Is there any possibility for you to post their real pictures?

    🙂

  5. Hamza: I want you to know that Bob is crushed that you couldn’t tell the difference between our writing styles, after all we’ve been through together.(grin) Check the signature on the post: Bob wrote the observational humour one.

    observer: I’m going to go with “NO!” on the request for pictures of our colleagues; we still have plausible deniability at this point. (“I am sure that wasn’t about you; it must be a different idiot.”)

  6. oh bob. You missed your wife’s point of going on a picnic. Its not about you. At least in the park, she gets the chance to see other homosapiens who don’t lie on the coach doing nothing. 😛

    My sincere apologies. I actually read and knew that it was BOB but for some reason my fingers betrayed me and unintentionally typed “William” instead…

  7. when we were kids, there used to be a day for vaccination shots, it would be almost an off day at school… sounds like its Kryptonite vaccination annual day, mondays are for men, tuesdays are for women 😉

  8. Hilarious! The laughing guy dialogue cracked me up!

    It’s like I’m watching an episode of “The Office”!

    You guys should seriously start blogging!

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