Munchausens By Proxy

(A contribution by William)

Latest Topper sighting:

Bob and I just got back from a relatively short meeting, where Topper was one of the five participants. One of the others (Joe Black’s manager, as it happens), spent the entire meeting standing at the doorway, occasionally looking down the hallway.

At the end of the meeting, as we were leaving, he explained that he was just waiting for his six year old daughter to come out of the bathroom, so that he could use his ID to let her back into the secured office area. (He had brought her to work for the day.) Just so you understand: He wasn’t concerned for her safety (the bathroom itself was located within a secure area), he just wanted to save her the trouble of coming down to the meeting room to let him know that she was ready to go back to his office.

Without missing a beat, Topper said, “It’s good that you are watching out for her. When Topper Jr. was 5, my mother-in-law and I were travelling with him through Chicago’s O’Hare Airport, and he had gone into the bathroom. When he didn’t come out after several minutes, we were worried. We asked someone else to check for him, but there was no response. Security locked down the entire airport, and then eventually I was permitted to go into the bathroom. It turns out that he was okay, he just hadn’t wanted to answer when a stranger called him by name.”

As a parent myself, I have mixed reactions to this (assuming, of course, that there is even a shred of truth to the story):

It is good that the kid knew not to talk to strangers.

It is idiotic that she would send a five-year old into the bathroom by himself at a major airport. (Take him to the women’s bathroom, for [deity]’s sake!)

It is ludicrous to believe that security would have shut down the airport as a first step, and only then would have let her go into the men’s bathroom as a follow-up.

And finally, how did “I’m waiting to let my daughter back into the office” inspire a “My son and I caused a code-red kidnapping scare twenty years ago” story? Isn’t that completely out of proportion? And why would she want anyone else to know this?

You can’t make this stuff up! (Or, at least, we can’t. Her, I’m not so sure about . . .)


2 Responses

  1. LOOOL!!! I was once stuck at O’hare bathrooms, there’s a Greek (or Turkish) place that sells gyros just next to the gate entrance, I had a gyro there and spent half an hour afterwards in the bathroom….. they were about to close the airport but not because i wasn’t answering, but let’s say the sweage system in jordan is better developed !

  2. closed the airport?

    I am already imagining the ransom note: “If you don’t send us the money, your son will rot for eternity in the WASHROOM”

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