A Dose of Hilarity: I Am America (And So Can You)

Prepare to piss your pants laughing.

This book is sooooo funny I was chuckling on the train and people thought I was loco.

In I am America (And so can you) Stephen Colbert tackles all the taboo and un-taboo(is that a word?) subjects. Here’s a sampling of his insightful opinions:

On raising a family:

Childrearing is arguably the most important of my core values. I believe in it, I practice it , and I ceaselessly promote it to my friends and followers. That said, generally speaking, I’m against children.

What’s the matter? Did I shake you up?

See, I am not against the conception of children; like i said, they’re the only permissible reason for intercourse. And I am not against pregnancy- in fact, if you ask me, there’s nothing more beautiful than a third-trimester mother-to-be in full maternity regalia. Maybe it’s the elastic, I don’t know. But the effect is stunning.

No, my problem is the children themselves. They may be cute , but they are here to replace us. Need proof? Ever catch one walking around in your shoes? That’s a chilling moment, like finding an empty body snatcher pod in the basement.

On religion:

So he pretty much made fun of all religions, he said “Buddhist’s should not just sit there meditating in their gardens, pick a side tubby”. He called Agnostics “Atheists without balls” and said “Hindu’s have the best commercial religion because they would produce the coolest stuffed toys,why with all the animal Gods and such. Imagine having a stuffed Jesus on a cross?” So I was dying to see how he’s gonna make fun of Islam so he says:

Islam is a great and true religion revealed in the Holy Koran which was dictated by the angel Gabriel to the final prophet Mohammed Blessing and Peace Be Upon Him

And that’s it. HAHAHAHAHHA, it’s HILARIOUS. Did you get it? Colbert is a genius.

(update/clarification: He didn’t make fun of Islam and he used the wordings the Muslims would describe Islam with because he is scared from the Muslims outcry (not really , he is just being sarcastic and showing that Muslims are the only ones who don’t allow anybody to make fun of their religion). That’s why it’s hilarious)

On homosexuality:

He says:

I am a gay American. And I couldn’t be gayer now that the gays are on the run.Of course, I am using “gay” the way our finding father intended, to mean “Happy,” before it was stolen from them by the gays.

Nation, we’re at war. And we can’t let the gays gain any more ground on our American language. Which is why we’re going to start taking their words. First word we reclaim? “Homosexual” . From now on , it’s going to mean what it always should have:heterosexual. Think about it. “Homo” means “the same.” And we’re all born with the same sexual orientation-straight. Ask any baby. (Girl babies, drop that teat)

LOL

 And much much much more.

For those who don’t like to read, there’s a lot of pictures in the book, a fun zone at the end of  every chapter with a quiz and a game, lots of hilarious illustrations, and last but not least there are stickers in the book.Yup, you read it right, stickers to mark your favorite parts of the book and to award other books the Stephen Colbert readers choice award.

Currently reading: A Thousand Splended Suns by Khaled Hosseini

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21 Responses

  1. i didnt get it!
    the islam part

    care to explain?

  2. LOL !!!
    btw, u should get paid 4 all those books u promote !!

  3. lol
    well I guess I can forgive you for sharing those 3 funny quotes which I am sure are part of another hundred inside jokes.

    hehehe

  4. eshda3wa: He didn’t make fun of Islam and he used how the Muslims would describe Islam because he is scared from the Muslims outcry (not really , he is being sarcastic and showing that Muslims are the only ones who don’t allow anybody to make fun of their religion). That’s why it’s hilarious.

    psg: I guess I should!

    Hamza: Yeah that is just the tip of the iceberg.

  5. 7aki, thanks for explaining why the Islam part was funny, I didn’t get it and thought it an inside joke! I can that juxtaposed next to jokes about other faiths, it would stand out clearly. 🙂

  6. Hey Kinzi: IT wasn’t only you. I guess it wasn’t clear , I updated it to clarify. I guess it’s one of those things you gotta read in full context to appreciate 😀

  7. I listened to the book by his voice (I have one hour drive to work each way, that is why I use audio books) and I thought the religion section and in particular the part on Islam is so clever and stronger than any thing else he would have said. I like his style in the book and the show.

  8. FM: Hmmm I wonder how listening to it would be without all the pictures and the margin and the foot notes.
    This is one of those books that should be read and not listened to I think cos there are a lot of goodies in it.

    So what was your favorite part. I laughed out loud when he made fun of seniors, you also need to see how he had it in the book cos he had the large type for the seniors praising them and the small type dissing them for us to read. I thought this book was better than the daily show book

  9. hihihihi… good I need a funny book. This will be next after Pi

  10. We have a lot in common, me and this Colbert dude!

    I’ll take your word for it and get the book – sarcasm is highly enjoyable! 😀

  11. This is already on my ‘to-read’ list now, it sounds great!

    I think you might like books by Al Frankin, he was one of the original writers of Saturday Night Live and now he’s into politics so it’s a pretty fresh perspective. I recommend ‘Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them’, it’s hilarious.

  12. Pictures! mmmm! i am missing much then, pictures are the best thing in a book, followed by listening instead of reading :). I will try to find someone who has the book to look at the pics.

    I like his style and attitude in general, where he is always right for no reason other than being right and being himself, and the real message behind that. I listened to it probably three weeks ago and I have short memory, but I remember it was a pleasant experience, I liked the introduction, his theory on family and kids, religious prospective in the whole book, like when he says “All Dogs Go to Heaven? Sorry, kids. It’s only the dogs who’ve accepted Christ.”, just the whole thing was funny, the senior citizens was funny as well.

    I could not start listening to Stewart’s book. I have the CDs but I got bored from the first chapter, when he was explaining democracy using history but in fact referring to current issues, so I thought I will put it aside for a while then come back to it later.

  13. And by the way, I am not lazy, we do not have trains here, we drive, that is why I use audio books, unless you want me to read and look at pics while driving! !

    Kidding with you there..

  14. Another thing i forgot, I have an idea for a gift you should request from your husband: “Amazon Kindle”. You are good in creating the scenario for that, right? But would you like it in the first place or you still prefer the paper smell and feeling?

    I feel like an annoying person writing three comments in a row this early in the morning. promise this is the last one.

  15. KJ: Yeah you should follow in my footsteps, I am AOWSOME,LOL.

    Kinano: So what do you have in common with him? I would be interested to know, hehehehe.

    The guy: Book recommendations are always welcome 😀 , thanks guy. This book seems interesting, I will definitely check it out.

    FM: oh oh I heard about the kindle, but I like to have the book, donno it’s easier on the eye and lighter I assume unless it was encyclopedia Britannica or something.
    I feel old saying that I like the book more , like saying , the typewriter is better than the pc .

    The Stewart book was REALLY good, again it’s a you have to read it book 🙂 .

    You know what you need to do to read instead of listen? Hire a driver :p , or get married (if you aren’t ) and let your wife drive you, LOL.

    Oh, and I don’t mind annoying people so annoy away 🙂

  16. I found it today at borders, 50% off, that reminded me when colbert hosted bill o’reily and when he presented o’riely’s book on the show, it had the 30% off sign on it 😀

    I wish o’reily (though i hate him) would show colbert’s boomk with the 50% off sign on it lol

  17. lol Hareega, I saw that episode. It would be funny actually if he did that.

  18. I am waiting for your input on “a thousand splendid suns”… I absolutely loved the book. i’m reading his first book “kight runner” now

  19. Hey Nada: the review is coming up soon, I finished the book 2 days ago but didn’t have a chance to review it yet, but I loved it too, very very emotional book.

  20. LOOOOOL, so I was cheating and reading your blog when I was supposed to be working, and I read this review…I went to Barnes&Noble’s to study a few nights later and I saw his book n remembered your blog post….so I went and looked at it. OMG, I was laughing so hard at just the intro section!
    and when I saw the front and back covers, I had to buy it….he reviewed HIMSELF!!! Looool, that was hilarious!

    I haven’t read it yet, I am still working on Confessor which has been sitting on my dresser since Nov 13th, mocking me, but will get to this book next!

  21. Hey tinker: good to see you 🙂 .
    Isn’t it hilarious? Let me know how you like it after you are done.

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