On Throwing up and Such

I have developed a super power which is “Super Smell”. I am thinking of applying to the show “Heroes”, I will be the first pregnant super Hero.

Is that the villain I smell who hasn’t showered for a day? Yes it is. What to do to stop him? Projectile vomit on him in super sonic speed. LOL (OK EW)

Having the super power of smell is NOT by any means fun. Nope. You walk around thinking: “Are smells going to appeal to my over sensitive stomach today or not?” You will learn to fear what awaits you smell wise around the corner.

You will wake up thinking: “Will I like the smell of fries today? Or will I run like a mad woman to the bathroom alternating between holding my breath and breathing through my mouth and taking long deep breaths to avoid throwing up.

So not throwing up becomes an art from. You have to master it or you will be throwing up left right and center which makes you unfit to be around humans and humans are mean and they don’t have any sympathy for you until your belly starts to show.

One other thing that is soooo much fun about being pregnant ( I am being sarcastic) and in your first trimester is that you also feel like you were hit by a train and then you were forced to run a marathon because there is no other explanation to why you are sooooooooooo tired after just walking from the desk to the printer and in need of a nap ALL DAY.

But back to throwing up (EW) .

Baba 7aki , how to put this in a nice way, loves things to be a certain way around the house so he bought those really pleasant (well were pleasant before my super sense of smell developed) Glade plug-ins that you plug in the wall that SHOULD make the house smell nice.

So he is super excited and he plugs it in the hallway right outside of our bedroom.

Every time the bedroom door opens the room gets flooded with this scent that was turning my stomach. Just thinking about it right now makes me nauseous.

So after I investigated and at 2 AM in the morning I found the plug-in , Unplugged it and put in in the guest room (unplugged) far far away and closed the door to make sure the smell is not going to come out again.

I talk to Baba 7aki over breakfast:

Me: Oh man that plug-in thing almost made me throw up all night.

Baba 7aki: Why don’t you unplug it?

Me: I did that. I put it in the guest bedroom.

Baba 7aki: Good.

15 minutes later l go upstairs to get something and low and behold that thing is plugged in the wall again and I start dry heaving on the spot. I go to baba 7aki

Me: Baba 7aki, why did you plug that thing in again? I told you it makes me so nauseous and you told me to unplug it.

Baba 7aki: Oh I thought it only bothers you at night.

Me: HAHAHAHA (did not say anything mean but I really really wanted to) No it bothers me all the time so I unplugged it.

Baba 7aki: Where did you put it?

Me: I hid it so you can’t find it and plug it in again.

Baba 7aki: But where did you put it? I won’t plug it in again!

Me: I am not going to tell you. You will go get it and plug it in again! (After 7 years of marriage I know my man, he will go get it and plug it in)

Baba 7aki: Don’t be silly I won’t do it. I just want to know where it is so it won’t get lost and so I can plug it in after you are no longer nauseous.

So I told him where it is.

The next day there was this faint smell similar to the plug-in and that is soooo bad that was making me want to throw up all day. Mind you the definition of bad smell changes when you are pregnant. So I thought it is residue from the day before and I tried to ignore it.

As I was walking up the stairs to my room and as I glanced down at the living room I saw that EFFING thing plugged in and it has been plugged in ALL DAY. (HAHAHAHAHAHA, seriously it was just too funny)

I screamed: BABAAAAAAAA 7AKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. What is this thing doing plugged in the wall???? All day I have been feeling awful and I have been wanting to throw up and I had no clue why. WHY IS THIS STUPID THING PLUGGED IN???

Baba 7aki: I thought it won’t bother you over there.

Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THOUGHT IT WON’T BOTHER ME? EXPLAIN TO ME WHY IT WON’T BOTHER ME??? IT STILL SMELLS, I am still pregnant BECAUSE OF YOU. It’s all your fault, you have your fun and then I suffer for 9 months and then you plug it in? This is why I hid it in the first place, I knew you were going to plug it in. I bet you you spent all day yesterday thinking about that stupid plug-in. I think you are a freak. (HAHAHAHA, at that point I couldn’t hold myself anymore the look on his face was priceless)

Baba 7aki: OK OK I will take it away.

Me: FREAK! I swear to God if I find it plugged in ANYWHERE IN THE HOUSE I will take it, break it in 3000 pieces and throw it in the garbage.

Baba 7aki: OK OK. Relax woman ………. Just for the record though, you tricked me into becoming pregnant anyway so it’s YOUR fault.

And then he ran. LOL

I wonder where I will find it plugged in next. I know him. He will plug it in most probably in the basement next.

My husband is soooooo funny sometimes, funny I tell ya!

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15 Responses

  1. God! You really are pregnant!! I could read it between the lines :p
    May God be with you, BOTH of you…all of the 7akis I mean!
    You remind me of my friend when she was pregnant…I couldn’t understand what she was going through…I still can’t :pp – il hamdillah 🙂 –

  2. LOL! you guys are nahfeh. At least you’re not disgusted by baba 7aki’s smell… that would suck lol. You would definitly be thrown out of the bed room from how it looks hahaha y3nee it IS your fault.. you tricked him lol

  3. haha.. I guess there will be a part two of this post 😀 😉

  4. I thought when ladies get pregnant they change to many things but becoming funny? didn’t see that coming! that was hilarious

    good luck, o enshalla bet2oumi bel salameh 😀

  5. LMAO @ superpower smell and projectile throwup.

    My God. This is soo hilarious. Now I know that I have to think twice before impregnating my wife.

    or I’ll make sure that her mom is always with her. 😛

  6. 🙂

    Good read! Thank you!

  7. nido: tu2 tu2 tu2 nido, you can’t feel any of the symptoms???? evil.

    Batoul: LOL. Well I sometimes I don’t want to smell him when he sprays tons of cologne, HAHAHHAHA. maskeen baba 7aki he is suffereing.

    sel3: hehehehe. Well I have to laugh cos I want to cry, HAHAHAHAHA.

    hamza: biddi mama 😦 .

  8. Sure blame the dude! But I am with you on those plug ins….they are gross. Maybe I’ve been pregnant for the past 10 years then!

  9. I’ll be planting glades in every corner and inch of the house if I were Baba 7aki 🙂 What a laugh will it be (mean laugh)

  10. yfa: HAHAHAHA. Maybe you are.

    Saloo7i: you evil 😛

  11. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

    OMG woman! I am cracking up at your choice of words between pregnant, “plugin”, the whole becoming-pregnant process, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

    waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahha

    I think Baba 7aki and I share the same “loves things to be a certain way around the house”.

    I tell you what… why don’t you do your pregnant thing while I take Baba 7aki away for some time so I can let him relive his bachelor years again until you’re relative more normal 😛

  12. KJ: HAHAHAHA.
    No no don’t take him I need him still. Like who will keep things around the house a certain way if he goes? The house will become un-liveable, LOL

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  15. hahahaha this is just classic.
    And let me welcome you to my world. i have never been pregnant but know exactly what you mean. i have been naturally blessed (no hormones necessary) with the worst combination: an oversensitive nose and stomach – i’ll get nauseous at the smell of petrol, dettol (or any disinfectant), strong perfume, raw meat, BO (it is absolutely impossible for to ride the metro in Cairo!)… and those are just the ones that I can think of off the top of my head. My entire life is one big first trimester!

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