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My Favorite Most Dangerous Toys of All Time

Number one: AQUA DOTS

This Innocent looking craft toy that came out last year intended for children 4 and up has beads that are laced with the date-rape drug GHB that would cause people to become comatose.

I knew our neighbours 3 year old boy was up to no good when he got this for little 7aki on her birthday. I KNEW IT. I better keep an eye on that kid. Hehehe.

 Number 2: Lawn Darts

Or Jarts.

A seven year old  in 1988 apparently was hit by a jart on his head.

Like , seriously, WHO is the genius who invented this game? Oh yes, let me give my 4 year old kid a spear and let him/her play around with it with other 4 year olds. LOL. HILARIOUS.

Number 3: Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab 

  

It is a radioactive learning set , complete with four samples of uranium-bearing ores.

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Do I have to even comment on this one. Jeeez. This is by far my most favorite dangerous toy.

Number 4: Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun

Ok so this is a belt buckle that is a gun and that is fully operational.

I can soooo picture this conversation:

Woman: So dear, tell me, why can’t you father any children.

Man:Well when I was 6 years old my dad bought me this belt buckle that I wore right over my merchandise and the rest is history.

I can’t belive a parent would actually buy this for their child. LMAO.

Number 5: Johnny Reb Cannon

Yup, It’s FULLY operational. Yup, you can load it and fire it. Yup.

Number 6: Creepy Crawlers

 

The 1964 Creepy Crawler Thingmaker from Mattel, came with a series of molds, tubes of “plastigoop,” and an open-faced fryer, which could heat up to a nerve-searing 310 degrees.

Holy shit man. 310 ?????

Go here for the full list, you should, lots more crazy shiznet.

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13 Responses

  1. My sister used to have the Sky Dancers and those things would chase you like they had some laser eye. I can understand all the injuries. HAHA. But your list is right on, for real, what are people thinking?!!

  2. Wow…man, how come no one ever brought THESE for me when I was a kid! My childhood’s been deprived!

  3. Don’t forget firecrackers.

    When I was a kid we took like 30 of them put them in the middle of the street, took a can of gasoline from the garage and poured it from the firecrackers to a “safe” distance, lit it up, and the whole neighborhood went nuts….

    😀

  4. I can’t believe I missed out on all these toys! My World Domination Plan would have proceeded at a much faster rate!

  5. Lawn Darts RULE!!!!! We did though have a few close calls. Were the tips made of lead?? I think they were. Double dose of death.

  6. beats my stash of “glool” any day!
    how come rc helicopters are not in the list! they’r the most dangerous..and the coolest toys ever!

  7. Emjay: That one is freaky too. And lol at laser eyes, sooo true.

    Hala J: HAHAHAHA. So what was your most dangerous toy?

    Hani: OMG the fire crackers. Once my brother had firecrackers in his short back pocket and for whatever reason they started cracking. He was running in bullet speed. HAHAHAHAHA. It was soooooooooooo funny.

    KJ: Yes KJ I think you lived a sheltered life. You should introduce these toys moogle, especially the radio active one. I wonder if anybody still stores it in their attic.

    YFA: I can imagine the lawn darts. LOL @ double dose of death.

    Mr. Anon: I LOVE glool,I used to collect them. I guess the helicopters aren’t so dangerous. Compared to a canon and a spear, LOOOOOOL

  8. Hehehe…man, I never had any dangerous toys! All of them were run-of-the-mill safe ones. I had a ton of stuffed animals, though, that’s for sure. And a family of Barbies. I guess the only thing that could be considered dangerous was the choking hazard involved with my tiny plastic jungle animals…but even then I was old enough to know better than to try to eat ’em.

    See? I could have grown up a lot tougher if my childhood playthings were potentially fatal. *Sighs*

  9. I LOVE LAWN DARTS!! I HAD THE CHANCE TO PLAY EM BE CHICAGO! i love em! bas i couldn’t find any here be jordan
    aslan ma fee grass 33enna 3ashan to play it with a a perfect atmosphere

  10. “Lawn darts will kill you. More at eleven…”

  11. What about airsoft guns?? Aren’t those toys? They shoot up to 600 fps

  12. The only ones that seem seriously dangerous are Jarts and Aqua Dots. The cannon and derringer ones are not really dangerous. Caps cannot damage peoples “privates” (Assuming they are wearing cloths). The cannon shoots 30 ft. Give me a break. It might give you welts but unless it was shot in someone’s eyes it couldn’t seriously hurt someone. The Fright factory has hot plates but as long as the child using it is careful it is safe.
    The Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab apparently has a safe form of Uranium. “Uranium 238 is only dangerous if in finely powdered form and inhaled. You can safely swallow a pellet of U238; it just passes through.”

  13. OMG, kids, Lawn Darts and the Thingmaker were two of my favorite toys growing up. Seriously. I probably tossed those big old darts nearly every day of my young life. And I lived to be the perverted old man that I am today. You should be so lucky to have the cool toys we had.

    Oh, and, Bob, lighter fluid and broken glass can be safe “as long as the child using [them] is careful.” WTF, dude, WTF? And, yeah, I played with those unsupervised too.

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