What fabrications they are, mothers. Scarecrows, wax dolls for us to stick pins into, crude diagrams. We deny them an existence of their own, we make them up to suit ourselves – our own hungers, our own wishes, our own deficiencies. Now that I’ve been one myself, I know.

Margarete Atwood

The Blind Assassin

I don’t know why but as soon as I read this in “The Blind Assassin” it struck such a cord.

It is true. When a woman becomes a mother she stops being just a woman, a human, an individual, she becomes a mother, a super hero , the whole family and everything is directly connected to her, affected by her and dependent on her. The success of the husband, the kids the marriage attributed to her along with the blame for any of their failures.

All hung on her like ornaments hung on a Christmas tree. Like a Christmas tree it starts out beautiful and green and will eventually dry and become brittle.  It will still hold the ornaments but it will become tired and old.  Weighed down by those sparkly ornaments.

It made me think of my mother and all the things that happened to us and her in our life, all the things that went right or wrong. The resentment and the gratefulness I feel towards her all at the same time. Made me realize how selfish we can be and how much we hang on our mothers. Sometimes the weight is too heavy but we never hear them complain.

I love you mom.

Go tell your mom that you love her and maybe unload some of that weight she carries for you.


5 Responses

  1. Great word picture with the Christmas tree. whew. all that bling-n-blink does get heavy.

    I was reading from the prophet Isaiah and his words about God: He gently leads those who are with young. It also speaks of how he gathers His flock, carries the young lambs close to His heart. We are His ewes, us mommies, and need gentle leading lest we get too covered with ornamentation not designed for us.

  2. It took me sometime to appreciate what my mom did and still doing for us! And now that I’m married and a mom I appreciate her even more 🙂
    I love her so much and wish she’s a lil bit closer!

  3. Nice way of putting it.

    Only now that I am a mother and after feeling this weight of responsibilty ccan I appreciate all the sacrifices my mom has uncomplainingly made for me

  4. Moms are awesome and anyone who says otherwise should be put through a long horrible death!

  5. Let me tell you something honestly that i noticed..before i say it i have a working mother and a working wife…i believe women are wonderful creatures… but i can see arab women have a couple of problems that stops them from being efficient in the societies they live in…

    1- Many women think work is a past time ,and many of them work in domain not related to their study, thus losing the advantage of knowledge acquired in colleges and the need for a degree . I can see many female teachers, who have an IT BSc and that are teaching english,religion, math,social studies. and in many reputable schools.

    2- Work out your priorities, many women think working while being married or having kids or teenagers is alright. in result they are losing the career, the kids, the husband and the stability at home. you can work while you’re single. or work out an agreement with your husband to work and let him stay at home, a marriage is a relationship where two people have to be there and one would be the bread winner and the other to be the caretaker, one person doing both jobs is not possible.

    3- arab women always portrait home as a prison, while in our current times work is a prison, workers nearly always go back home stressed and tired from work , if the caretaker part is not their children and bread winners will start looking for different caretakers which usually leads to bad company.

    my mom is a great smart powerful woman , she’s working as a doctor, and she’s doing a great job. plus taking care of home . as a mother she’s great when she’s available but i know she could’ve done a better job.

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