Déjà vu

Who Would have thought the 7aki household would have another eggsplosion.

You need proof? You can’t handle the proof.

eggsplosion

HAHAHAHAHAHA Baba 7aki is HILARIOUS. And yup, he had to clean it up.

Since this is a regular occurrence at the 7aki household I created a blog category for it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Daddy Said a Bad Word

We were out at a mall with friends visiting from Dubai. Baba 7aki was talking to my friends husbnad and i was talking to my friend and all of a sudden.

Little 7aki whispering: Mama, Mama. Baba said a bad word.

Me : Oh no. What did he say?

Little 7aki: He said “Assets”.

Me: HAHAHAHAHHAHA. That’s not a bad word sweetie.

Little 7aki: What does it mean?

Try and explain what assets mean to a 4 year old. I told her assets are something valuable that we own.

Speaking of bad words, Lets say baba 7aki has an issue with withholding the swear words in front of little 7aki. He swears like a trucker.

So one time he said shit or something, little 7aki runs to me and says: “Mama mama baba said “shit””. I think she delights in telling me that her daddy is saying a bad word  so she can repeat it.

So I look at baba 7aki and I say:“tsk tsk tsk”. Then I tell little 7aki: “You know what, maybe we should put soap in his mouth to wash out the filthy words”. Little 7aki zooms out of sight sooooo fast and brings a bar of soap from the bathroom and tells her daddy to put it in his mouth HHAHAHAHA. Much to his protest.  I tell him: “You better put it in your mouth since you were swearing”.

This has developed into a ritual, baba 7aki would be talking, not realizing he said shit or ass or whatever delightful bad word and all of a sudden he sees little 7aki in front of him with the bar of soap saying: ” Put it in your mouth” so baba 7aki bites it with his lips and she would say: ” No no I want teeth, TEETH” meaning , you gotta bite on it buddy.

So now she just goes up to him with the bar of soap and says: “Teeth”. HAHAHAHAHA

The other day in the car baba 7aki the trucker mouth said something bad and little 7aki was like: “TSK TSK TSK, I wish we had soap”

LMAO. This girl is a character I tell ya!

NC-17: No one under 17 is allowed . Some Of My Favorite Blogs Rated

Keeping with the theme of the previous post I rated some of the blogs on my blog roll, similar to a movie rating and oh boy this is just tooo funny.

1) First all the bloggers that are RATED G where all ages are admitted:

First Let me Rate Roba’s And Far away. You can practically give your kids Roba’s link with no fear.

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Then I rated Naseems Black Iris, Also pretty good, but Naseem, you said Bitches!!!! LOL.

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Then It was Hamza‘s turn, Hamza, how many times do I have to tell you to stop blogging about your drugs escapades????? HAHAHA. J/K

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The Observer, Awwwww even the worst word you used was pain. PUTS ALL OF YOU TO SHAME!!!!

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Hani Obaid was not too bad, maybe by ass he meant Donkey? LOL

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Then it was Bakkouz‘s Turn . Shame on you Bakkouz. Oh the language you use.  Actually Bakkouz is pretty good. I think he meant Donkey too. HAHAHA

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2) Now we enter the blogs where some PARENTAL GUIDANCE is required where some material may not be suitable for Children:

First off the shock of  the century is non other than Kinzi 😯 .Oh kinzi the violence you have on your blog. LOL. I honestly thought Kinzi’s blog will return nothing but it did. Life is always full of surprises.

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Then it was KJ’s . So you get PG for saying Crap??? Hmmm, I demand a recount. I think you should be in the rated G pile 😛 .

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3) Now we enter the realm of those blogs that kinda hover on the edge of being bad, the PG-13 blogs where Some material may not be appropriate for Children under 13.

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First off non other than me, 7aki. Wow, violent and a potty mouth. And people send me emails sometimes telling me that my site is a family site and I keep telling them, dudes, trust me, it’s not.

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Hareega is also rated PG-13. I laughed sooooooo hard when I read the words he uses. Hareega, a question: Why are you obsessed with faltulance? LOOOOOOOOL.

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4) Now we start going into the serious stuff, The blogs Rated R. That people under 17 need an accompanying parent or guardian.

The first and only blog on this list is Bambam.

Wow I never knew that Scat means Poop. Again, we live and learn.

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5) THEN I rated Rambling Hal’s , and oh boy you are in for the ride of your life. The undefeated champion of all blogs. Drum rolllll pleaaaaaaaaaaase.

NC-17: No one under 17 is allowed 😯 HAHAHAHAHA. walik Hal shu haaaaaaad? My favorite word is stab.  LMAO

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To see how your blog rates go here

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Uncle Scrooge and the chewing gum

A guest post by 7aki’s sister

When I was about 8 or 9, I spent a lot of time at my grandparents, specially in the summer, I guess mama was trying to get rid of me or something :,-(

Whenever Grandpa left to work, Uncle scrooge (العم دهب) used to send me and my other uncle to go get gum and candy with our allowance, saying that he had the best idea for us to become very very rich.. so like the stupid little kids we were, we went to the store very happily and bought all the candy we could. Then he would wait till Grandma was busy with house work and made us sit on the sidewalk close to the house and SELL the stuff. This went on for about a week.. when we asked him for the money he said that he was saving it for us.. the Idiots we were!

So one Day my grandfather came back early from work and he saw me and my younger uncle selling gum and candy on the street and he went ballistic and started screaming at us “Don’t I give you enough money? Why are you doing this? Do you want us to look like beggars? Why do you want people to think that we are poor?…. etc.” at that point we were terrified and did not realize that what we were doing was wrong.. so we both started crying and told him that it was scrooge’s idea. Hearing this, Scrooge disappeared and was nowhere to be found for the whole day. By then Grandpa calmed down and only told him that it was wrong and he should never do it again.

Till this day, my mother has no idea that her own daughter sold gum and candy on the street.

Yeeeeee.. Fdee7a 😯

The Return of the Plug-in

Remember the whole dilemma with the Glade Plugin? Remember how I said it will be back?

Guess what! It’s BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. And where? Right outside our bedroom door.

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Sigh.

I think he does it on purpose because I am a pretty spoiled (daloo3a) (heheheh, it’s true) and he wants to get back at me for all the things I made him go through in the past 2 months, well in the past 7 years would be more accurate.

 The real question is why do I find it so funny and cute that he is sooooooo OCD. I mean another woman might have killed him already or run to the hills but I don’t, I find it so darn cute that he does all the “Freak” things he does. Seriously, CUTE!

Well OK maybe I wanted to kill him a couple of times, maybe yelled at him occasionally, but he is still SO cute.

Man I think those pregnancy hormones are A’ raging right now. OCD is Cute????? HAHAHAHAHA.

 I’m hungry, I am going to go eat a shawerma sandwich right now, yuummmmmmmmmm.

When My Bro Was Hit By a Car

When we were kids my Mom used to let me and my brother who was only 3.5 at the time go outside and play on the street. I used to be maybe in 2nd grade so I guess that would make me 7 years old.

We lived in a Cull De Sac so there were no traffic flow by no means. It was a very safe area to play.

My brother who was always stubborn and would never listen to ANYONE was running around and playing, it was time to go home. I got a bit worried because there were some cars and I told him to hold my hand, he was refusing to do that, so I threatened him that if he does not hold my hand that I will never take him outside to play and it worked! He held my hand and I was walking triumphantly that he listened to me. Then like the sneaky little stubborn bugger he was he let go of my hand, dashes out on the street laughing and kaboom, he got struck by a car.

I WAS MORTIFIED.

The car screeched to a halt , there were 2 men in the car who left the car panicking like there was no tomorrow. They ran to my brother who was on the ground right by the car and they carried him and took him in the car and left.

I was stunned, first my brother gets hit by a car and then those 2 stranger men take him away, I was shouting at the men: “Where are you taking my brother, leave my brother alone” but no use, at that point all I could do is just watch the car leave terrified and bawling my eyes out.

I went running home. I was at that point incapable of saying anything and I was saying: “Brother, car , hit , men, gone, waaaaaaaaaaaaa3”

Like maybe 15 or 20 minutes later the 2 men brough my brother back, they apparently were soooo scared that they took him to the hospital to check and see that everything was alright.

ARE THESE MEN STUPID??? Like you took my brother away you bastards. At least take me too, or let me go get my mommy. BASTARDS.

But they are good people.

So the little stubborn bugger had not a scratch on him and he was perfect thank God.

I looked at my brother and he was chewing something, I was like:

Me: What’s that in your mouth?

Brother 7aki: 3am bakol 3ilkeh ( I am chewing gum)

Me: Where did you get that from? Is that the 3ilkeh (gum) I gave you like 3 hours ago?

Borhter 7aki: yeth (he used to lisp, LOL)

Me: and I am here bawling my eyes out and I thought you were dead and through all this commotion you are still chewing the gum you were chewing when you were hit by the car? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. You didn’t even swallow it out of terror when you were hit by the car?

Bother 7aki: La2, ma heih thakieh (zakieh ( no because it was tasty)

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh man, my brother was such a nahfeh

And the whole lisping thing, my brother used to say, 3athr 2rooth (3ahsr 2roosh, ten piasters) We used to make sooooooo much fun of him.

My mom spent years trying to get him to stop lisping but he wouldn’t stop, he actually liked it and liked the attention.

So it was time for him to go to school, his first day of school, so my brother was very excited:

Brohter 7aki: Mama, biddi mathroofy, 2a3teeny 3athr 2rooth (mama, biddi masroofy, a3teeny 3ashr 2roosh, I want my allowance, give me 10 piasters)

Mom: Walak it’s 3ashr 2roosh, ma biddak ti7keeha sa7? (Aren’t you gonna stop lisping?)

Brother 7aki: Thu? (Shu) , I thaid 3athr 2rooth. (what? I said it right)

Mom: sigh, I don’t know what to do with this kid.

So my brother comes home from school on his first day and he runs to Mom

Bother 7aki: Mama, mama, biddi maSSary

Mom: What did you say?

Brother 7aki: 2a3teeny maSSary, biddi 3aSHr 2rooSH.

Mom: Walak batalet to2rot? HAHAHAHAHA (you stopped lisping?????)

Brother 7aki: Mahoo the kids at school made fun of me.

Can you believe that? My brother is a nahfeh 3anjad.

I have sooooooooooooo many stories about my brother, some day I might share the story of my brother and the dufda3 (frog)

The day 7aki got slapped, AGAIN!

Remember that one time when I was slapped by a monkey? I think it was a sign of things to come.

See, my Mom is a very peaceful person, never in her life did she have to resort to using her loud voice or physical power to get her point across. All she had to do is use her stare, we called in “The death stare”, she will just keep staring at you until she breaks you, LOL. For real, she would just not let up and keep looking you straight in the eye until you didn’t know what to do and then you would surrender and do whatever she wanted you to do.

For example she would ask me: “Go do the dishes”. Like a smart ass I would say: “Ma biddi (NO)”, and my mom would unleash the death stare, at first I would defiantly look her in the eye, and then after 2 seconds flat I would start looking away, then in another 2 seconds flat I would start giggling nervously, and then I would get up and do the dishes (zay ilshatra), mind you , my Mom at this point had not even uttered one word.

So one time my mom woke up really early, 6 in the morning, on a weekend, I also woke up and went looking for Mom to find that she was in the bathroom, so I snuck really quietly and sat down next to the closed bathroom door and waited for her to come out.

My Mom opened the door so I stood up, screamed really loudly and grabbed her. She got sooooooo scared that she slapped me.

It was the most painful KA-TESH slap EVER (The monkey slap was less painful, LOL) .

I really wonder, why didn’t she find it as funny as I did? HAAHHAHAHA.

Moral of the story 1: Never sneak up on my Mom to scare her.

Moral of the story 2: I perfected the death stare and I scare little 7aki into doing whatever I want, hehehehe.