Overheard In the Bathroom. Potty Language Advisory

Buddha has been recently, VERY recently, potty trained; she’s been clean for 4 weeks now, I really need to share the experience with you, I am still MORTIFIED at how long it took her to grasp the concept,  maybe a post for some other time.

Due to her newly acquired skills, she is very excited to go to the bathroom, ESPECIALLY a public bathroom, can you please say EWWWWW?????

Yesterday we were invited to a kid friendly wedding, so we took the girls with, and in the span of three hours, no word of a lie,  Buddha asked to go to the bathroom about TWELVE times!!! WTF???

It might be  the foamy soap dispensers that lure her; our house does not provide already foamy soap, you have to actually RUB YOUR HANDS to make it foam. I can already tell that Buddha is high maintenance.

Or is it this Dyson hand dryer? OK guys this thing is OUT OF THIS WORLD!!! I am not even kidding you, I am positive this thing can launch a rocket that’s how powerful the air blast is. Buddha loves this thing! To be totally honest I love it too, hehehehe, it’s just so much FUN.  It’s like going to a bathroom theme park!!!!

But I digress; at her maybe 8th trip she flipped out because I flushed the toilet, HAHAHAHA, OMG it was so funny! I was in the stall with her and this is what happened:

7aki flushes the toilet. The toilet did not flush fully, toilet paper still in the toilet.

Buddha: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I FLUSH THE TOILET!

7aki: No no I did not flush; see there is still toilet paper.

Buddha: NOOOOOOOO, you flushed!

7aki: No no I swear LOOK, there is STILL toilet paper.

Buddha: NOOOOOO, you flush my pee! YOU FLUSH MY PEE!!!!

7aki now hears people outside the stall laughing, now I laugh myself; this is just so funny!

Is this what kids reduced us to??? Flush negotiators?

Now while I was resolving the flushing of the pee issue I hear someone peeing in the next stall and I kid you not people it sounded like someone was dumping a bucket of water in the toilet, HAHAHAHAA,  and it was just soooo loud, now little 7aki was in the next stall over and this is what happened:

little 7aki: WHAT IS THAT SOUND???

Now I am muffling my laugh because OMG what IS THAT sound?

Little 7aki: MAMA, WHAT IS THAT SOUND!

I mean little 7aki was loud. SUPER loud. I start giggling , I mean the pee sound is not only loud but this lady is still PEEING, it took her like 5 hours to finish. Maybe if I go there today I will still find her there emptying her bucket!

Little 7aki: WEIRD.

7aki (no longer able to contain myself): HAHAHAHAHAHA.

And this concludes me totally over-sharing today.

 

Rub My Belly Mama, Mama, Rub My Belly

My little Buddha who calls her belly boody. She is sooooo funny.

She says:

Mama, talk to me, talk to me mama, mama, talk to me …. so … I have an idea , lets color.

That is just soooooooo funny, “talk to me” in her world means “listen” and I think it is just the funniest thing EVER.

She also says: Mama, MAMA , I tellllll youuuuuuu, SIT DOWN. (yes the caps are her speaking to me sternly , LOL)

She just turned two and a half years old a couple days ago and she is blossoming more and more and has her own personality.

My little Buddha copies and says everything little 7aki says. Little 7aki says, mama, I don’t like this it’s gross, and then I hear an echo , mama, it’s goss, goss mama.

Hahahaha.

Oh, and another thing, Buddha blames everything on little 7aki:

7aki: Who spilled the milk?

Buddha: Little 7aki

7aki: Who turned off the TV?

Buddha: Little 7aki

7aki: Who did poopy in the diaper?

Buddha: Little 7aki.

7aki: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Then she sits in the back seat in the car and when I get out to unbuckle her she has her eyes closed and a tiiiiiny smile on her face.

I say: Buddaaaaah.

Little Buddha: I sleeping mama, I sleeping.

God I want to ef3asha.

And little 7aki, will be seven in May, SEVEN, when did this HAPPEN???? I love her so much my little monkey she is such a mothering big sister and she worships the ground little Buddha walks on; she takes a lot of abuse from her little sister but is always calm and loving towards her.

She now thinks princess are lame and totally babyish. Well, she didn’t really have a lot of interest in princesses before but now will NOT BE SEEN DEAD even close or TOUCHING anything that has a princess print on it. What can I say, like mother like daughter; while I was such a tom boy growing up, no seriously, you don’t want to see the pictures; she is actually interested in jewelery, hair, perfume and makeup and OH MY GOD is obsessed with shoes.

So she has a perfect balance she is a fierce tom boyish girly girl who would have skinned knees and lip gloss.

Fa3es those two.

Gotta love girls.

And that concludes my quarterly post of the year.

Over and out.

 

10 Year Wedding Anniversary Part 2

BamBam (who’s a good friend) emailed me today and told me that I was a “Poo Poo Head” for cramping Baba 7aki’s style and that I should have let him “do his thing” and I can go buy myself the IPad.

Little does he know that before I even read his email I was feeling HORRIBLE about being a flat out surprise spoiler ( yeah Baba 7aki was a bit miffed) and now I feel even WORSE.

SO THANKS FOR THAT Bam 😛 .

And then he wanted to know what I got my man so here goes:

I got him this yesterday:

We already have the PS3 and I knew he had his eye on the PS3 move for a while .

I spent about an hour setting it up and downloading some games; we have an entertainment centre that is about 9 feet away from the TV and all the wiring is snaked inside the wall(maybe I will share some pics one day) so I had to buy USB extension cord and set the “eye” on top of the TV to make sure it’s positioned properly and did all this good stuff before he got home. To my luck he was working a bit late and came in JUST as I finished setting things up ; I managed to sneak in some play time, MWAAAHAHAHAHA , my arm hurts though, that move gets you moving!

I wanted to show it to him this morning but I CANNOT WAIT TO SURPRISE SOMEONE TO SAVE MY LIFE so I showed him his present last night…he he he I am such a loser. He LOVED it

Baba 7aki is lucky to have a techie wife I tell ya 😀 . And don’t tell him I said this but sometimes my technical skills surpass his. heheeeeee . Fo realz yo.

Tonight we will have our dinner and little does he know that I have another surprise up my sleeve; he thinks he got the “Move” and that is it but I also got him this:

I hope he likes it.

And yeah, I will be lucky if I get a MOFO shib-shib (flip flops) after upsetting him yesterday . LOL.

 

Holy Cow 10 years

Tomorrow marks baba 7akis and my 10 year wedding anniversary.

Holy Cow man … 10 years!!!! I can’t believe it.

He’s so cute. About 2 weeks ago he comes in our room and asks me, out of the blue : where is that promise bracelet I bought you when we first started dating?

7aki: It’s in the Jewelry box.

Baba 7aki: Can I see it?

Now I am starting to feel suspicious, because I have had it for 12 years and he never asked me to see it.

7aki (I dig it out of the jewelry box): alright, here it is.

Baba 7aki: Cool, what else do you have in there (he starts rummaging through my jewelry box)

Ok at that point I thought, the jig is up. He is going to buy me diamonds or something for our 10th year wedding anniversary.

Baba 7aki is soooooooo funny, he can never surprise me because he is soooo obvious, HAHAHAHA. Like seriously?! show me the promise bracelet, like DUH. LOL.

So after 10 minutes I send little 7aki down to ask him , so what are you going to buy mama for your 10th wedding anniversary?And I told her, don’t tell your dad I sent you. After she asks him he asked her if I sent her and she said yes! WTH man!!! I just told her not to tell him, hehehehe. I should not send a 6 year old to lie for me cos SHE SUCKS AT LYING. So he sent her back to tell me to mind my own business.

So I told baba 7aki: I do not want a thousand or more dollar gift that is diamonds, I just want an IPad, maybe a watch.

Baba 7aki: But an IPad is not romantic! It’s like a birthday gift, not a 10 year anniversary gift!

7aki: But what am I going to do with jewelery? Tab get me an expensive watch instead of diamonds.

Baba 7aki: NO. I want to show off OK.

7aki: LOL. AHAAAA, GOT IT. It’s not about me, it’s about you showing off. TOO FUNNY.

Baba 7aki: Mind your own buinsess.

7aki: tab what should I get you? You are impossible to buy for.

Baba 7aki: I want nothing

7aki: I have a great idea! You Can buy me the diamonds and I will buy you an IPad!!!!!!

Baba 7aki: HAHAHAHAHA. You are such a loser.

So I have been nagging him for the past 2 weeks to get me the IPad and to put a diamond screen saver on it. heh

How messed up is that? I think this would be the first time in the history of history that a wife tells her husband I do not want the diamonds and he insists on getting them. Crazy stuff man.

So tune in tomorrow to find out what I will get.

 

The Story of The MOFO BIB-BIB

MOFO BIB - BIB

Alright, so as I mentioned in my previous post, little Buddha is a liiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit diva-isk, she wants what she wants and she wants it NOOOOOOOWWWW.

It all started when we were on a mini two day vacation to a beach resort . And as you all know on a beach there must be sand, and because there was sand little 7aki had flip flops (we call them shib shib in Arabic)  with her, and guess who got attached to flip-flops? You guessed it, little buhdda, so she would fight with her sister all the time for them so I went and got her a pair and sure enough buddha took to them like white on rice. She would not take them off for anything. Wore them to the beach, on the deck, in the house, and if I would have let her she would have worn them IN BED.

Now, little buddha was only 22 months old and as we all know wearing flip flops takes some skill if you are a beginner, I mean you need to keep your toes pressed tight around the front piece thingy to keep them on; so suffice it to say although Buddha loved them so much she kept WHINING ABOUT HOW SHE CAN”T KEEP THEM ON.

She loved them so much she refused to wear ANYTHING else on her feet. I am talking try to put sandals on and you have a half hour battle ahead if you before you even get out the door. Every time we wanted to go out  she would start yelling. BIIIIIIIB BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIB , BIIIIIIIB BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIB .

So now picture  her bib bib s slipping off her feet EVERY FIVE EFFING MINUTES and I have to fix them because OMG her flip flops slipped off her feet, BIIIIIIB BIIIIIIIIIIIB, it must be a catastrophe. Lets all run to little buddha and fix her flip-flops because the world would end as we know it if we don’t help her.

After 2 days of EVERY WAKING MINUTE OF MY LIFE of her bib – bib slipping off I SNAPPED because they would slip off her feet and she would come to me to fix them with her most perfected whiny whimperish cry, that buddha is a pro, A PRO I TELL YA, if she entered a whiny-ness (is that a word?) competition she would win.

I snapped and I said mother effing flip flops. And people this is a momentous occasion, I NEVER swear in front of my kids EVER.

Baba 7aki was standing there , he looked at me, I looked at him,and then we were both on the floor laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation. I mean we are not talking Middle East peace here people, we are talking about keeping flip flops on a 22 month olds feet. FLIP FLOPS!!!!!

So now if baba 7aki and I find ourselves in a frustrating situation that we can’t help or control all we have to say to each other is MOFO bib-bib and we would be heaps on the floor laughing.

Luckily for little Buddha, and I mean luckily for her OWN WELL BEING, she perfected wearing the cursed bib bib.

Although I joke about this right now but I am telling you people flip-flops traumatize me to this day.

I AM TRAUMATIZED.

Work, Red Shoes And Stuff.

Man it feels I have not blogged for ages. Well I did not blog for ages.

I have been really busy at work, no time to screw around  busy.

Oh, and in case you didn’t know I have 2 kids now. And nobody told me that having 2 kids is like having NO LIFE. I am telling you, one kid is a piece of cake add number 2 and all of a sudden there is no time for ANYTHING that has to do with YOU aka the Mom.

And I am already getting pressure from the family to have number 3, you know what people SHUT UP about number 3. I think I am DONE….maybe? darn it, you see, those little buggers are so cute and cuddly and …and … Buddha bellied…. CUTE….until they puke all over the bed, and the floor and the wall.Actually, after second thought, I think I’m done.

An update about ma familia:

Little 7aki is 6 now, wow, she’s a big girl, she’s kooky and crazy but in a good way, she likes to run with no inhibition, she would choose the black bike that has flames on it instead of the purple bike with streamers, fearless and brave.

She is pretty much kind of sort of self reliant now. And so fun to go out with to shop and chill where I don’t have to run after her and say stop and no and stuff. She likes to watch wipe out and also , YES I ADMIT IT, Americas funniest  home videos. What? It’s funny OK :P. It’s just when she giggles I want to bottle it up forever.

Little Buddha on the other hand, OH MY GOD If she didn’t look so much like me, I am serious our baby photos are identical , I would have thought she got switched at the hospital! She is so different from her sister, how can I word this very nicely, WHINY. hehe.

She whines AAAAALLLLLLLL THHHHHHHEEEEEE TIIMEEEEEEEE. For example, if she wants to eat she would say, kinda wimperish and cryish: mommy, fooooooood, NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. She really and honestly says now. She tells me, mama, haaaaaaaaalp me, LOL. I swear help with an A, Haaaaaaaalpme , kinda connected in one word, I want to tape it because it is sooooo funny! She speaks in a Khallili English dialect, HAHAHAHAHAHA.

She’s a Diva too, OMG try and change her clothes when she doesn’t want to;  hell would break loose, I mean , heap on the floor, kicking legs, screaming, and saying, off,off, NOWWWWWWWW.

She likes to carry this little purse around and she’s ALWAYS wearing my high heeled shoes around the house, no word of a lie, always click clacking on the hardwood floor.

And oh, she’s only 23 months!!!! WHAT???? This is supposed to be happening like when she like turns like THIRTEEN!!!!! …Like.

Little 7aki on the other hand would just say OK to whatever, wear this, eat that , don’t do this or that, so easy going,  until she goes outside and terrorizes ALL the kids on the street  seriously, no one messes with little 7aki.

Little Buddha is loved  by all because she is such a lamb, OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE!!!!! She is the boss of baba 7aki that one. And her Grandfathers favorite too, their bond is so beautiful and precious, brings joy to my heart every time I see it.

My girls; little 7aki who has the heart of an angel, so loving and caring and would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. And my little Buddha who lights up my life with her spunk and that sparkle in her eyes.

Although you two wear me out I would give anything to you….unless it’s my new red shoes, Buddha , I know you are only 23 months old but you better lay your hands off of those or I’m coming after you.

If I Win A Million Dollars

Me: What would you buy if you win a Million Dollars?

Little 7aki: I would buy a Unicorn.

Me: HAHAHAHA. OK what would your taita (Grandma) buy?

Little 7aki: She would buy a big giant cook book made out of gold.

Me: Alright, what do you think little Buddha (AKA baby 7aki) would like to buy?

Little 7aki: She would buy a big giant doll that looked like me so she can bug her all day. She really like to bug me a lot mama.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. What about me? What do you think I would buy?

Little 7aki: you would buy a big hammock and lots of books and you would sit in it and read aaaaaaallllllllllllllllll thhhhhheeeeeeeeee ttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime.

Me: That’s actually not a bad idea, I would maybe buy a bookstore. Alright, what about baba 7aki? What do you think he’ll buy?

Little 7aki: He would buy a big giant TV and sit on the couch and watch all day and night and never get up.

Me: MWAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

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You think kids don’t observe what you do all day? They sure do!

Lets analyze the answers:

Little 7aki: A unicorn? Like really? My cutie little munchkin pie wants a unicorn. I wouldn’t mind one too actually!

Taita: Obsessed with cook books. She sits there and COPIES recipes that she never cooks. TOO FUNNY!

Buddha: She does really follow her sister everywhere and maybe, MAYBE, bug her all the time. For example, little 7aki would stand at the sink brushing her teeth and Buddha would come and tell her sister  to “moozee” out-of-the-way which means “excuse me”  and if little 7aki does not “moozee” Buddha would either A) freak out or B) push her sister because hellooooooooo, she said “moozee ” and why isn’t this other kid moving already?

At least she is polite, I have to give her that. She also says “peaze” and “tattu” .

Me: Phew I was worried she was going to say a computer  or something worse but a book and a hammock? I’ll take it ANY DAY OVER…… Baba 7aki’s TV and couch, LOOOOOL.

Baba 7aki and little 7aki fight all the time over .. you guessed it, the TV. It’s like I have 3 kids I swear.

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What would YOU buy of you win a million dollars? And if you have kids ask them what they think you would want to buy, this was really fun! A good insight to how your kids see you.

Yallah tell me in the comments.

Or better still blog it and link here 😀