Urgent World Wide Search

I have lost something dear to me and I am announcing here on the internet in hopes that SOMEONE out there will find it.

I am so sad by this loss and honestly horrified at the idea of never finding it. Honestly I just want to cry right now.

When you have something that was with you since your teenage years and then suddenly you wake up one morning with no warning and it just …poof… disappears; it will mortify you.

Can you please help me by putting the word out there in hopes someone sees it?

I lost…

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I lost …..

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I lost my waist …. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

WTF waist? Where the eff did you go?  Seriously, this is NOT funny!

You think it’s sooooooooo funny that you just decided to just…DISAPPEAR!!!!!

Not cool and NOT FUNNY.

Is it the donuts that upset you? Those Tim Hortons Honey Crullers that I JUST discovered, seriously I have been in Canada for 10 years and I JUST discovered them, they are like a donut cloud that melts in your mouth. Is it because they are the most fattening donut Timmys has? IS IT? I will leave them if you promise to come back.

Or is it all those cotton candy I am having that they JUST STARTED selling at the store IN A BUCKET!!! Yes IN A BUCKET. Ahhhh, now that is just amazing.  IS IT? For you I will abandon them.

Or, or , please don’t say its the Chilli fries that I LOVE, please don’t let me leave them.. PLEAAAAAAAASE.  Are they? I will also leave them to win you back.

Waist, I miss you.

Do you know what happened since you left? I now sometimes have a little teeeeeeny tiny muffin top. WAAAAAAH.

Please come back (name that song).

Love you,

7aki’s muffin top.

PS:  They say the best part of the muffin is the top so if you decide not to come back then, psshhhhh, WHO NEEDS YOU.

PPS: Also, it seems my butt has transferred to my muffin top too, waaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

PPPS: NOT FUNNY!!!!!

Things That Irk Me

I needed a snack so I reached into my goodies kitchen cabinet (yes I have one and it’s spilling with stuff) and I got a bag of chips, I opened it and BAM! A post was inspired.

I will list things, despite their insignificance, that irk me:

1) Why are bags of chips big and when you open them they are half full? I know I know you need the air so they won’t crumble but honestly, the amount of chips in these bags is sooo measly that it PISSES ME OFF.

2)Me being pissed of at point number 1. Stan, why are you so mad (name that song)

3) People.

4) People who step off the escalator and stand on the top like idiots. MOVE AWAY BITCHES!

5) Empty milk carton in the fridge, oh the RAGE.

6) Did I say people?

7) High heal shoes that look amazing but mangle your feet, I mean they make you look sexy and 10 feet tall but as soon as you take them off your feet look like ASS.

8.) Speaking of ass, I need to go to the gym, so what irks me is that I CAN’T go to the gym at a reasonable time! It has to be so effing early or soo effing late. Kids, don’t have them!

9) Not winning the lottery.

10) TV shows that have like 3 weeks of breaks between episodes, seriously? YOU SUCK.

And that concludes the rant of the day.

To the one reader that reads this blog *waves hand* what irks you?

 

NC-17: No one under 17 is allowed . Some Of My Favorite Blogs Rated

Keeping with the theme of the previous post I rated some of the blogs on my blog roll, similar to a movie rating and oh boy this is just tooo funny.

1) First all the bloggers that are RATED G where all ages are admitted:

First Let me Rate Roba’s And Far away. You can practically give your kids Roba’s link with no fear.

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Then I rated Naseems Black Iris, Also pretty good, but Naseem, you said Bitches!!!! LOL.

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Then It was Hamza‘s turn, Hamza, how many times do I have to tell you to stop blogging about your drugs escapades????? HAHAHA. J/K

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The Observer, Awwwww even the worst word you used was pain. PUTS ALL OF YOU TO SHAME!!!!

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Hani Obaid was not too bad, maybe by ass he meant Donkey? LOL

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Then it was Bakkouz‘s Turn . Shame on you Bakkouz. Oh the language you use.  Actually Bakkouz is pretty good. I think he meant Donkey too. HAHAHA

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2) Now we enter the blogs where some PARENTAL GUIDANCE is required where some material may not be suitable for Children:

First off the shock of  the century is non other than Kinzi 😯 .Oh kinzi the violence you have on your blog. LOL. I honestly thought Kinzi’s blog will return nothing but it did. Life is always full of surprises.

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Then it was KJ’s . So you get PG for saying Crap??? Hmmm, I demand a recount. I think you should be in the rated G pile 😛 .

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3) Now we enter the realm of those blogs that kinda hover on the edge of being bad, the PG-13 blogs where Some material may not be appropriate for Children under 13.

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First off non other than me, 7aki. Wow, violent and a potty mouth. And people send me emails sometimes telling me that my site is a family site and I keep telling them, dudes, trust me, it’s not.

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Hareega is also rated PG-13. I laughed sooooooo hard when I read the words he uses. Hareega, a question: Why are you obsessed with faltulance? LOOOOOOOOL.

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4) Now we start going into the serious stuff, The blogs Rated R. That people under 17 need an accompanying parent or guardian.

The first and only blog on this list is Bambam.

Wow I never knew that Scat means Poop. Again, we live and learn.

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5) THEN I rated Rambling Hal’s , and oh boy you are in for the ride of your life. The undefeated champion of all blogs. Drum rolllll pleaaaaaaaaaaase.

NC-17: No one under 17 is allowed 😯 HAHAHAHAHA. walik Hal shu haaaaaaad? My favorite word is stab.  LMAO

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To see how your blog rates go here

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What not to say to a pregnant woman. Heck ANY WOMAN.

Friend who happens to be MALE who I haven’t seen for 2 months and who does not know I am pregnant and only after 5 minutes from meeting me: So 7aki, did you gain weight? You look plump

7aki: 😯 .

Friend: What?

7aki: Well yes I gained weight, I am pregnant.

Friend: 😯 . OMG congratulations.

7aki after like 5 minutes: So the whole you gained weight comment, you lucked out that I am pregnant otherwise I would have kicked your ass for saying it. Like DUDE, what were you thinking asking a woman if she gained weight???

Sheesh.

 

 

Noise

I am being bombarded with noise. Lots of noise.

Where ever I look there is visual noise in the form of advertising.

Billboards. Magazines , websites , newspapers, movie theater, TV, on the subway, on the train, on the train and subway station doors, on the train and subway station floors, on the food wrapper , on peoples suitcases and bags. They even managed to put ads in the bathroom stalls so it’s facing you when you sit down.

Everywhere I turn I see an ad for something.

I turn on the Radio to try and enjoy some music or talk show, ad after ad after ad.

I turn on the cartoon channel which is supposed to be public and ad free, they started plugging ads in it.

I look at the sky I see one of those airplanes pulling an ad banner.

I open my mailbox and for every bill (yeah I only get bills in the mail, I wish letters never went out of style) I get 15 pieces of junk mail.

I answer my phone telemarketers bombard me with products to sell. By the way I despise these people and the companies that use this method. Nothing is sacred anymore! Not even your home or your privacy.

I answer the door I get people selling something.

I am tired and sick of all this noise, very very very tired. There’s no escaping it everywhere I go I see it I hear it I experience it.

It is soul eroding.

They say on average we hear and see almost 3000 ads a day. I believe that. They are so ingrained in your day you don’t even notice them anymore.

So I put my headphones on really loud so not to hear it anymore and I bury my face in my book so I don’t see it anymore

But I when I take my headphones off and rest my eyes from reading I see it , and I covet things and I hate myself for it.

Why Why Why?

Why do Jordanians use newspapers when setting a table?

I’ve been looking at a lot of pictures of food on the Jordanian blogspehere , home cooked food, and almost ALWAYS they are using a newspaper on the table instead of a table cloth.

My Mom uses one too, OMG this is tooooooooo funny.

Since I have been out of Jordan for so long I kinda notice these odd behaviours more.

I guess it’s good recycling and entertaining to read while eating, but we were forbidden from using the obituary page when setting the table, not sure if it was because of the word of God or so not to disrespect the dead.

 So why? Do you condone this habit? Do you think it’s healthy?

Where Are the People?

I really think my family should star in a reality show because the things that happen to my husband and I are crazy.

Here’s how the events transpired.

Last weekend we went to visit Baba 7aki’s friend; they’ve been friends since high school.

He is married and has 2 kids, one is close to little 7aki’s age so we thought it would be fun for little 7aki.

Now his friends have been over to our house a couple of times and it was our first time visiting their new house, so we bought them a house warming gift and a gift card.

We get there and his friend says: “Hey you said you’re gonna call me before you leave the house” baba 7aki said: “We did call you and nobody picked up”, so his friend says, “It’s all right, I just need to call my wife to come home because she took the kids to the nearby park and I told her I would call when you guys come”.

So we were like cool, no problem, baba 7aki and I are very easy going.

So he calls and calls but the wife doesn’t pick up, so we told him, maybe the signal here is not that great , I am sure she will come back soon enough.

She left at 3 and it was 4:30.

At 5:15 the friend started getting antsy and worried about his wife so he took Baba 7aki with him to the park that is 5 minutes away and left me and little 7aki at the house by ourselves, now that was weird, I sat with little 7aki playing with the toys and stuff.

They come back and the wife was not at the park.

The guy sent a million text messages and called her a million times but she had disappeared into thin air.

Now it was 7 O’clock and no sign of the wife. The guy called his parents her parents …no sign

I told him, most probably she is not getting the calls, no way she wouldn’t answer, we told him not to worry and wait for her to come home or call him.

So the guy takes hubs to get some pizza leaving me AGAIN all by myself at the house for over 40 minutes , I felt I was in a vacation home …lol.. I opened the fridge to grab drinks, made a snack for little 7aki, surfed the TV chanells and when I got bored I started reading my book … HAHAHAHA.
My book is always in my purse thank God.

That’s when little 7aki asked: “ Mommyyyyyy, were are the people?” lol

I told her “ Beats me!” and then she started asking what do you mean by beats me .. blah blah blah blah, little 7aki never stops asking questions.

They came back from getting Pizza with the news that the wife went to visit her brother ????? her daughter had fallen asleep there and she was waiting for her husbands call.

HILARIUOS my God I can’t believe that was happening to us!

That was a surreal experience, the guy was so embarrassed to how stupid his wife was … lol … I wasn’t’ in the mood to talk that day anyway so when the wife never showed up I got to relax in SOMBODY else’s house.

Hubs and I have 3 theories:
1) She is stupid:
I mean when the guy doesn’t call you, you knew we are coming at 4:30 and it’s already like 6 o’clock won’t you call him to check if the guests came or not?
I lean towards this theory because when we got there she had everything laid at the table nicely, the nuts, the chips, the cheese and crackers, she had a feast there, so she was intending to be there but …. Never made it…lol

2) She is weird/crazy:
Yeah, maybe she IS weird when she got his SMS messages instead of calling him she SMS’d him back that she was at her brothers. I mean, wouldn’t you call as soon as you get the message?

3) They had a fight and she wanted to take revenge:
But the friend would have told us that they had a fight, weird.

I swear this was the weirdest most surreal thing I experienced ever.