Sh*t My Dad Says

This book is soooooooooooo funny!

The story behind it is that the book author Justin Halpern had a 2 year long distance relationship with his girlfriend; he lived and worked in LA and she lived in San Diego and wanted to move in with her so he found a job that will allow him to live in San Diego, so he let his apartment in LA go and went to San Diego to surprise his girlfriend but instead of her jumping up and down with joy she broke up with him.

Justin found himself homeless and the only thing he could think of was to move back in with his parents. While he stayed at his parents his father was saying the funniest and weirdest things to him so Justin created the Twitter account “Sh*t My Dad Says” and a phenomenon was  born.

The nice thing about the book that it’s not just quotes from his dad but also has a number of stories about his dad that he collected from family members.

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

Put the rake down. I don’t wanna sit around watching you ‘give it your best.’ Either stop sucking or get the fuck out of the way

See, you think I give a shit. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I’m thinking; How can I give less of shit? That’s why I look interested

This one is a pearl of wisdom:

Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit

This one is my favroite one, soooooo true!

A parent’s only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed

Loved it and would recommend it for a good laugh.

Here are more of my reviews

 

Rugsplosion?

So remember when I told you that Armageddon hit the 7aki household and everything turned into hell?

One of the things that happened was that the washing machine broke down and to continue a tradition of eggsplosion 1 and eggsplosion 2 baba 7aki decided to branch out a little into: Rugsplosion.

It was one beautiful cool summer night and Buddha might have, could have ,maybe, ate a little bit too much before going to bed because see, life to Buddha is a never-ending buffet; if there is food and she sees it, she is going to eat it.

So as we are putting her down in her crib to sleep we see the telltale signs of ” OMG RUN TO THE HILLS THE BABY IS GOING TO PUKE” she starts in the crib, we take her out and she continues to hurl on the bedroom carpet, maybe a little bit on the wall and finally on one of those really cute little circular Green Ikea rugs that have paw prints on them, awwwww.

Can't belive I found a picture of it online! It's like 6 years old. Paw prints, awwww

So this is the drill at the 7aki house hold if  Buddha or little 7aki pukes, I clean up the kid, bathe, change clothes and put them to sleep and baba 7aki cleans up … well…. everything else.

I just can’t do the cleaning, I would throw up right then and there, and instead of cleaning the baby’s vomit I have to clean up mine too.

Also I have to say Baba 7aki has built a system and he’s very efficient at it ( I don’t know why I giggle while I type this)  baba 7aki treats vomit cleaning very seriously, VERY SERIOUSLY.

Anyhoo, unbeknownst to me, baba 7aki dumps ALL the vomitty stuff in the washing machine INCLUDING that very cute, green, harmless rug, with the paw prints remember? awwwwww.

And then it explodes in the washing machine, all that is left of it is the mesh that holds the thread on the bottom. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Now baba 7aki doesn’t confess to his crime and he removes the remains of the rug from the washing machine, mind you, not ALL the remains. Then he mentions it in passing, like nothing was wrong about what he did,  that, oh , by the way, there was a rugspolsion in the washing machine.

I GAPE AT HIM, wanted to yell WHAT????? Who in their RIGHT MIND WOULD PUT A RUG IN the WASHING MACHINE??? Instead I made fun of him, hahahaha.

Anyhoo, 2 days later I run a load of laundry and SURPRISE the washer doesn’t work .

Guess what he does? He blames me for breaking it down!!!! Why? Because I didn’t remove ALL the green remains from the machine. There was none by the way.

Men.

I Should have yelled at him when the rugsplosion happened

PS: We had a guy come in and unclog the green stuff from the wahser and we made fun of baba 7aki, teaches him to blame me for breaking the washer.

What the Dog Saw: And Other Adventures

The non fiction book “What the Dog Saw” by Malcolm Gladwell is a fun book to read.

The book contains 19 essays that Malcolm wrote in the New Yorker spanning over 8 years I think which makes it an easy read for people with a short attention span or people who don’t have hte time to read, you read an essay, put the book aside until you are ready to read another essay.

The book is split into three parts titled:

– Minor Geniuses:
This part talks about people who are not revered in the media for their achievements but non the less are amazing at what they do. One of the examples of these people is Ron Popiel, a household name here in North America, for those who don’t know the name does the phrase ” Set it and forget it” ring a bell?

Another essay that I found VERY interesting talks about the birth of the birth control pill, honestly this essay was sooooo interesting that getting your hands on the book just to read that is worth it.

– Theories, Predictions, and Diagnoses:
This part is so fascinating. One of the essays talked about the fall of Enron, I think people will still talk about Enron 100 years from now, and what caused them to fail.

Another essay talked about true geniuses with an IQ higher than 150. their was a study done on these geniuses to track them through life expecting them to be the cream of the crop once they are older just to be shocked at the end that no, being a genius does not mean you will be successful. Pretty cool!

Another essay in this part I liked is the one discussing the failure of the challenger mission. It basically concludes that it’s not one big huge problem that causes things to fail it’s actually a chain of very ordinary small problems that create a huge failure, very interesting!

– Personality, Character, and Intelligence:
One of the essays talks about late bloomers, mostly artists and writers, and how some write/paint brilliant work and then fizz out as opposed to those who reach their 40s painting and writing full-time all through their lives with no tangible success and then BOOM become an overnight household name.

For a full list of the essays click here

This book opened my mind a bit and I felt I learned something from it and applied it to my day-to-day life.

Go to your public library today 🙂 .

For more reviews click here

Outliers: The Story of Success

I like everything Malcolm Gladwell writes . I have read The Tipping Point and Blink and enjoyed them immensely so when I saw this book with my buddy Bob I grabbed it right away.

The book talks about how people become successful and how much effort a person needs to put into something to become great.

The whole idea of this book is that , although you also need to put in a lot of work to actually become successful , turned out the magic number is 10,000 hours which is the equivalent of doing something obsessively everyday for 10 years, you also need lucky breaks and people connections.

Gladwell used Bill Gates as a study case to show how he managed to get where he is today; with hard work, 10,000 hours worth of it, family connections and luck; he happened to be born in the right year, go to the right school and get involved in the right thing at the right time.

Fascinating stuff really.

The book also discussed athletes , specifically hockey and soccer players and how their birth month played a big role to them being recruited in the professional leagues.

Tons and tons of interesting information.

Totally enjoyed it as I expected and I look forward to more work from Gladwell.

For more reviews click here.

The Glass Castle

What shocked me the most about the book “The Glass Castle” is the fact that it is a memoir.

I kept saying to myself, there is NO WAY there are people in the United States who lived/live like this!

This is the story of the author Jeannette Walls, her Mom, Dad and her three siblings.

The story starts with her 3-year-old self cooking hotdogs on the stove and sustaining 3 degree burns that left her scarred for life, which goes to show the degree of negligence she was living with. What does she do when she goes home from the hospital? She gets hungry and starts cooking hot dogs with  her parents cheering her on and telling her , way to go kid, this is how you should face your fears.

With a very intelligent alcoholic father, that taught his kids everything they knew, who unfortunately always spent the family money on booze and only thought of his next drink, and a mother who failed to grow up and refused to face reality. Despite that the story still manages to be a story of triumph and success.

As sad as her childhood was , no food for days on end, living in the desert because they had no place to stay, walking for miles when their car broke down on the highway, living in a home with no heat, electricity or in some cases even stairs to go into the house, they had to climb through a window to get in , I found myself unable to hate her parents who are without a doubt the reason of this families trials.

Jeannette managed to write a powerful memoir that made you understand the weakness and limitations of some humans, you could be the most intelligent and loving father but still fail to provide and protect your family because of reasons beyond your control.

I absolutely enjoyed the book, it opened up my eyes to a new world I thought never existed!

If I could take only one message from this book it is no matter what difficulties you face in life if you are smart and determined you will always succeed.

I give it the 2 thumbs up

Currently reading: What the dog saw by  Malcolm Gladwell

For more reviews click here

OMG I Totally Forgot….

… to wish myself a happy birthday on my blog!!!

SO:

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to 7akiiiiiiii
Happy birthday to meeeeeeee

So baba 7aki got me wicked and I mean WICKED presentSSSSSSS ( stress on the s, hahahaha)

And my birthday was yesterday.

I am 33 years old. YIKES! How did the years fly like that people??? Like, seriously, I don’t understand how I am 33. And I hate odd numbers , they are kind of creepy don’t you think?

And I want the summer to come already, I am freezing my ass here. 25 BELOW zero today, WHY? What purpose does -25 serve, seriously.

OK so I was at the library last week, I am at the library a lot these days, at least once a week and sometimes twice a week and I saw Oprah’s 20th anniversary collection (6 DVD’s) so I borrowed it. And what a fucking bummer those DVD’s were. I wanted to sob while watching half of them.

Like what the hell man, there is crying by people and Oprah in half of the 6 DVD’s. And I am hormonal and a bit sleep deprived.

But they were good, really good, I never realized Oprah was sooo amazing, I always thought she was boring and OMG wanted her to get laid already, hehehehe, but she moved me. And you have to watch this collection.

If I am to take away anything from this collection it would be the one thing that struck me the most and stayed with me. It is the simple act of how you greet or look at your child. Always have a smile on your face when you look at your kid because at a young age children only see a happy loving face or a critical face which gets them to thinking” What did I do wrong now?” or ” My parents don’t love me”, which will cause them to have so much self doubt resulting in low self esteem.

But there is soooo much more, interviews with Nelson Mandela, which was amazing because his talk and resistance of apartheid reminded me of our peoples plight. Also Sidney Poitier who is such an inspiration and many more people.

I have to say, her 20 year collection is very inspiring. I never thought I would say that about Oprah but I kinda like her after watching this.

So if I had a dinner party and I could invite 4 people dead or alive I want to invite:

Oprah, cos she is an icon and she likes to read just like me so it would be interesting to talk to her.
King Husain. I heard he liked fried tomatoes ( gallayet bandora). He is such a charismatic person and was such a legend.
Jon Stewart. He is soooooooooooo funny you gotta love him.
Gerard Butler, because he’s hot. And every dinner table NEEDS hotness. LOOOOOOOL.

Who would you invite?

STUFF TO STEAL

I stole this meme from “Life: The Ongoing Education

I am: Super excited about having the baby but at the same time terrified of how busy it will be, the pain of breastfeeding, not sleeping and not having enough time for my little 7aki and baba 7aki or most importantly myself.
I think: I will be OK.
I know: That next year will be one of the best years of my life although taking care of a baby is not that easy I am happy that I don’t have to study or work or do anything of that sort for a whole year, been studying and working ALL MY LIFE.
I have: So many things to do in the next month it’s not even funny, biddi mamaaaaa.. waaaaaaaaaa333333333.
I wish: I had all my family and friends here living in Canada. I always miss them so much. And I wish I had a Dad in my life now and in the past.
I hate: How lazy I am sometimes. And I hate Braxton Hicks HATE THEM. And I hate how the days are so short and I hate…OK I’ll stop. I hate a lot. LOL.
I miss: Being active. Rollerblading, biking, camping and being free of all responsibilities.
I fear: The loss of loved ones. It terrifies me.
I hear: The birds reall early in the morning. the silence of really late at night and the clicking of keyboards and the thunder, oh the thunder, will it stop EFFING raining this summer. Grrrrrrrrr.
I smell: The smell of bookstores. It is my favorite smell in the world. And also the smell of Jasmine
I crave: Stuffed grape leaves and Mansaf.
I search: For something that I am missing but I don’t know what it is. I am always searching for soemthing. I also search for my car keys because I have pregnancy brain and I can’t focus to save my life.
I wonder: About my future a lot.
I regret: Nothing.
I love: The people in my life. My Husband and daughter especially.
I ache: EVERYWHERE. IS THIS baby ever gonna come out OR WHAT!!!!
I am not: Religiuos.
I believe: That good things happen to good people.
I dance: Rarely.
I sing: A lot, especially in the shower.
I cry: When I am sick. I do , I am such a baby when I am sick.
I fight: For my rights with tooth and nail. Nobody is going to rob me of my rights without a fight. Luckily,  it happens rarely that I need to fight. Right now I am fighting the urge to fall asleep, had a huge lunch… YAWN.
I win: In poker all the time although I can’t play that well. I think my bluffing skills are superior.
I lose: Weight when I am stressed.
I never: Want to experience being poor ever again.
I always: Carry a good amount of cash in my wallet you never know when you need it.
I confuse: Peoples names all the time. Pregnancy brain or not I am sooo bad with names that I don’t know how people still like me.
I listen: Really well and I remember everything I was told. Be carefull what you tell me. I retain weird stuff in my memmory. Except for names bizare but yeah.
I can usually be found: At home.
I am scared: Of the dark inside the house but does not bother me one bit outside. Well I am really not scared of the dark itself, I am scared of that person hiding in the dark waiting for me to sleep.
I need: Some alone time every once in a while.
I am happy about: My life in general. I am just bored a little.
I imagine: My future all the time. Right now I am imagining how Sept 2nd is going to be. I can’t wait for Sept 2nd.

So go on ahead. Do this meme. It’s actually fun.